So far not so good

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Zardo, Nov 18, 2013.

  1. Zardo

    Zardo Member

    difficult child is about 10 days into court ordered adolescent program and really struggling. He instigates and claims that all the other kids are a problem and because they r a problem he will end up being sent to detention. When he calls he is usually very agitated about something he wants from me and insists I drive to him- ie favorite sweatshirt - ear rings etc. There is visiting once per week and that is the only time I am willing to drive there. In the past I would have - but its time for him to stop focusing on things that don't matter and looking at me to solve all of his problems. I cannot cater to him anymore - it doesn't help anything and only makes him focus all of his wants/ needs at me. So - there is a dinner for the holiday this week and we r going, but we don't know if he will join us or not - he is very upset that I didn't bring things to him last weekend as he told me to. His behavior has been concerning - he is not getting along with the other kids - refused to participate in the group activity last week during family time cause he hates it there and hates the kids. The thing of it is - this is a court ordered program and his PO will get a report at the end of the month about all of this. So - we'll see where this leads. I am just praying that he can pull himself together as the drugs and cigarettes continue to clear. He has been to wilderness and rehab before and in both instances his behavior at the beginning has been horrible and turns around after 3 weeks or so. I just don't know if they will give him that time here.
  2. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Sounds like my kid.
  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry. Hugs DDD
  4. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Or Z -- I am sorry he is struggling. I think you are probably right that it correlates to the initial newness of the program and may reflect his frustration into getting into the flow of the new place. Some kids are like that - including my own son.It's like everything is wrong and he is bristling and hornery and then *tada* - a light goes off.

    *Holding good thoughts for you, XO
  5. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    How long has he been sent there for? I would bring him nothing. It's time he figures out what got him in this position.
  6. Zardo

    Zardo Member

    He is almost 2 weeks into a 60 day program
  7. comatheart

    comatheart Active Member

    I'm sorry!! I wouldn't bring him anything he doesn't need if he is having problematic behavior.
  8. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Two weeks is early Zardo. I didn't see anything different in my difficult child in two weeks into the program. A lot can happen in 60 days. I am sure they will deal with his behavior appropriately. Don't be too discouraged, but stick to you guns and let him know he's in there for a reason, it isn't summer camp.
  9. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    Agreed - two weeks is early. I was told you wouldn't see real behavior changes until they have been completely clean at least 30 days. I think it took my difficult child a lot longer than that.

    It is court ordered - you have no control over the situation. If he cannot treat you with respect, I would back off and let him deal with it on his own. If he messes it up and goes back to detention - that is on him, not you.