So helpless with my five years old

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Crystal72, Jul 2, 2011.

  1. Crystal72

    Crystal72 New Member

    Hi thereMy five years old is so out of control we don't know what to do anymore.He was diagnosed with childhood apraxia at 3 years old and after over a year fight with the school department, he finally Occupational Therapist (OT) IEP and started Special Education.I put him in daycare for the morning and school bus will take him to preschool till 3pm. But he was getting into so much troubles and earned himself a nickname time out kingThe daycare even have to bring him a class lower to a smaller group cos parents were getting upset seeing their kds get bullied by my son.Beginning of this year , the preschool withdrew his IEP claiming that he is doing good in academically. Even the social worker admitted that she noticed him covering his ears when hs ears get too loud, even when peech therapist admitted that he is behind his peer, even the school psychologist admitted that he is not up to par in a few fields. They still insisted to remove hs IEP that only consisted of 15 mins speech therapist twice a week.Now without any resource, all hell broke loose. He hits more, he cuss and swear. He is constantly biting the 68lbs dogs and his 11 years old brother that is asperger. He broke the glass door in the basement , he broke the handrail to the basement , he broke the 42' LCD tv, he removes seatbelt all the time, thowing things at me when I was out of STREETS when angered. Destroy things on purpose. He also doesn't sleep well, fighting in his sleep. Wake up around 3- 4am everyday and started running train till 8plus bedtime.We couldn't get a diagnoses about what's wrong with him cos psychiatrist always say he is too young. I need help here, something is not right with this child.
  2. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Wow! Your hands are full! With Aspergers going on in the family, you have a child already on the spectrum. There's a higher likelyhood that a sibling can also be that way as well.

    He sounds like he's got a lot of sensory issues going on here. You need to get two things done: a neuropsychologist exam (or at least a developmental pediatrician to take a look at him!) and an occupational therapy evaluation. If sensory integration issues are really going on, the behavioral stuff will keep getting worse or at least stay the same. He can't handle all of the input.

    IEP's are not only for academic reasons. You need to send a certified letter requesting testing and stating that you are NOT in agreement with removing the IEP. Behavioral issues can keep the IEP in place.

    Take a look at Ross Greene's book "The Explosive Child". At the top of the Early Childhood forum, there's a sticky that helps you adapt it to smaller children.

    Welcome to the group! Lots of strong shoulders here!

  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I agree wholeheartedly with nvts. Get him evaluated again. He is not too young to be evaluated for autism spectrum. I would look for a different psychiatric. And absolutely put your objection to the IEP in writing ASAP and ask for a full evaluation: academic, social skills, intelligence, Occupational Therapist (OT), speech, behavior, "the works". My son was on an IEP for behavior only (it's called EBD) for 3 years (until we found out he's on the autism spectrum). Is he still in school now? Any medications? Family history of mental health issues besides the Asperger's? Depending on where you are, you can ask your county (if in US) social services department for children's mental health services. For me, they have been a godsend. For others, a nightmare.

    Welcome to the "family". There are some wonderful people here that will offer advice and support. Week-ends and holidays are sometimes very slow here so be patient. Again, welcome. {{{{(((HUGS)))}}}}
  4. Crystal72

    Crystal72 New Member

    Thanks for the support. We are in Cranston rhode island.Well, before they went ahead to remove the IEP, I requested for a testing. I was not present during the testings but my older son was present during the psychologist evaluation and he came home to tell me that whatever the school psychologist asked, the answers from his little brother were either too far stretched or no answer but during the team meeting, the school psychologist told us she thinks DS2 (5years old ) is just being goofy so she wouldn't worry too much.The Occupational Therapist (OT) claimed that DS2kieane is not able to follow interaction more than two steps but she too wouldn't worried about that .School social worker claimed she witnessed kieane would cover his ears in a few different occasions but the class teacher rebuked it as she never seen that .The daycare DS2 is in trying so hard to contact the preschool teacher to let then know there are problems hoping we could work together but never able to get to the preschool teachers after countless voice messages. The preschool teacher claimed kieane is an angel and problems not happening in school shouldn't be brought up with them BUT before Christmas break, they sent the 5 years old DS2 to his 11 years old brother care claiming cos he was crying. When I demanded an explanation. They pushed the blame to my older boy saying it was cos he told his little bother they would be watching the polar express. I feel this is ridiculous ! My older boy just returned to school after being hospitalized for 3 weeks for cutting himself!!!! And the teachers feel I m over reacting ad refused to understand my concern. If you couldn't handle my 5 years old, you call the parents or you call the cops you don't dump him with his unstable brother!!!So they removed hs IEP even we have evaluation from private and school department that his speech is behind his peers. Even the speech therapist in the current school stated he is behind his peer but they went ahead to remove it by saying hs intelligent is at the 90%..... who is talking about intelligent here? I m like in my own planet alone. I sprained my back a week ago and it's hard for me to understand why my sons don't get resources from school or states.
    Lasted edited by : Jul 14, 2011
  5. Crystal72

    Crystal72 New Member

    He would be going to kindergarten in sept 2011. I have a very strong feeling that the school department was covering up. I understand school dept has no money but it's really not my concern cos we pay taxes yearly and if my kids need help they will need the help like others.No, kieane is not on any medication being that no evaluation show he is anything beside apraxia speech delay. He has good eye contact and they rule out autism before any further test is applied. When he was with others, he s reserved but once he is out, the devil in him is out too and the doctors say autism kids don choose place to behave.I don't know anymore. There isn't any mental illnesses history in our family. Our first born is 17 years old now and she never exhibit any like the brothers. My nieces and nephews from both side are not like this too ( other than the elder nephew from my husband's side that as similar aggression) kieane is not taking medication being that no diagnoses are filed My 11 years old also never show extreme behavior when he was with school or clinician but cos of his lack if eye contact is able to get him a name for what's happening to him.Help me ladies..
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Have you taken him to a neuropsychologist? He sounds like he is on the spectrum, probably more severe than Aspergers. He should absolutely have an IEP, but you need the diagnosis. it's absolutely untrue that autistic kids can not behave well at school then go ballistic at home. My son was an angel at school and a devil at home until he got autistic interventions (now he is doing well in all places). I don't know where these doctors get their information, really.

    My son's first psychiatrist diagnosed my son with bipolar, even though he's not really moody, and said he couldn't be autistic because "he can transition from one room to another and not throw a tantrum." Once he told me THAT, I realized that I knew more about autism then HE did. Scary, I know, but not all professionals in the mental health field understand Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) because it's a neurological problem that causes behavioral is not a mental illness. For that reason, I strongly prefer neuropsychs for all diagnosing. Not only do they do intensive testing, but they have knowledge of both mental illness AND of neurological disorders that cause behavioral problems.

    Autism/Aspergers runs in families. I'd have it looked at again by somebody with more knowledge.
  7. Crystal72

    Crystal72 New Member

    I know what you mean. I m making an appointment for neuroosych first thing tomorrow. I feel so frustrated when psychiatrist tell me we don't need testing cos he has good eye contact. I also hate how the school teachers make me feels when they tell me to bring the matter home cos he is an angel.I feel he is more severe than aspirer. My older son who was diagnosed with asperger when he was 9 was not as violent as him.Talking about neuropsychologist. My older boy went for neuropsychologist when he was 8 and they also denied Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). actually the psychologist came out to congrats me for having an Einstein cos he has an IQ level of 168. It was a testing from a psychiatrist specialist in Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) that confirmed he has asperger.You know I m so stressed out here. With two boys with extreme issues and I couldn't get any resources open for us. School pushing us around, states funding turned us down, Katie Beckett turned us down. It's me with the two boys and sometime I fall so deep into depression cos I m exhausted, helpless and frustrated.
  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Ignore what the schools say. They really don't know.

    If your son's doctor thinks you can diagnose autism/Aspergers based only on good eye contact, I'd boot him too.

    Good for you for seeing a neuropsychologist.

    I am sorry you are having such a hard time.
  9. april1974

    april1974 New Member

    I want to say Welcome, everyone here is so supportive♥ I looked up childhood apraxia and then reread your post and it sounds like your son is frustrated because in his brain he knows what he wants to say but physically can't say it...I can only imagine what it would be like to suffer with that and how upsetting for your son it would be. the school needs to adjust to your son and give him the help he needs. I think his acting out is out of frustration at not being able to voice himself in the manner he wants to. We've all been super frustrated when something doesn't work or go the way we want it and we lash I'm trying to imagine how it would feel to have my language removed or the frustration of thinking a thought and not being able to express it fully. I hope you can get some help((((hugs))))
  10. Crystal72

    Crystal72 New Member

    I know. I kept telling the school they can't remove his speech therapist sessions in school cos his behavior going to get worst if he doesn't improve in speech but even the school speech therapist totally supported me, the school still insist to remove his IEP.I mean, it's not just at home, it's the same in the daycare he goes to. I would understand better if he is an angel in daycare like what the school claimed but it's not. A lot parents in the daycare were so angry with my son cos he keep on hitting and pinching their kids. So I can only believe my gut instinct that the school is trying to save fund by covering up.
  11. april1974

    april1974 New Member

    That is such BS that they would remove his IEP is there any way you can appeal their decision? He has a medical condition, we wouldn't tell a child with Diabetes "sorry you can't bring your insulin to school with you" so why tell a child with apraxia "you can't have a therapist" I feel for you and your son....honestly if it were me.....I would be getting legal advice...your son has every right to lash....he can't get out what he wants to's a struggle and he's frustrated.....why doesn't the school see that? I would be tempted to phone all the parents and tell them "I'm sorry if my son hits your son....he has apraxia, is frustrated and the school is refusing him help" The squeeky wheel gets the greece, be the board....get the attention of people the school doesn't want gov' canada we have members of parliment we can contact....your son deserves help and I hope you can get it for him before he gets so big and the kids label him.(((((hugs))))
  12. Crystal72

    Crystal72 New Member

    Well, its the school that insisted they never had problem with him. I think it's BS cos if you never had issue with him, 1: why dump him with his older brother and put the blame on on my older son that if he didn't mention about the class would be watching polar express, my little wouldn't throw temper tantrum? 2: why the school teacher wouldn't return the call from the daycare teacher that is genuinely trying to help?As I mentioned in my first posting, during the recent school testing, I feel it was conspiracy cos even though speech therapist confirmed he is behind his peers, social worker stated she witnessed the aggitation my little boy had during loud session, Occupational therapist commented that he couldn't perform a task that is more than two steps (eg: pick up the back dog and give it to your partner).The principal instead that he does not meet the IEP requirement COS ACADEMICALLY he is alright...I m sorry but what sort of academically you are talking about for preschooler? He can't write from A-Z, he coudnt write hs name , he couldn't even tell you his last name, where he lives and how many family members he has... He only knows circle and confuses with rectangle and triangle, he doesn't know 1+1=2... what academic are they talking about?With my 11 years old boy that has asperger. They tried so hard not to acknowledge his needs. Just keep calling me to bring me to meeting, suspend him due to imapropriate words he said and refused everything! My 11 years old cut himself over 20x with the blade of a sharperner and was admitted to psychological hospital for 18 days!!!!!They are good at telling me don't bring the problems in the family to the school. My 11 years old came home with a broken eye glasses and cuts at the corner of hs eye one time and one other time with blood dripping down hs knee and another time a face that looked like Halloween Everyone's here are parents. Parents with normal function kids would also wanted fair treatment for the kids too. We pay taxes too and why deny our kids ? The school department wouldn't even let me transfer my kids cos my older boy has excellent grades and top the NECAP every time. His teachers had hard time containing him cos he is even fast to correct the teachers mistakes. Well he is not rude, he has asperger, and it's nothing wrong to correct anyone's fault, it's just he doesn't understand how to do it discreetly .Oh boy, sounded like I m exploding huh...
  13. Crystal72

    Crystal72 New Member

    About the parents who were upset with the behaviors of my kids. I usually pre-informed them that my kids as issues and if their kids has difficulty with them, please feel free to get in touch with me.For the little son, I usually send out card to apologize for my son's behavior but very often, I became the 'bad parent that couldn't discipline my kids'.I suck it up but I can only suck it up so much without help
  14. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Crystal! I would stay away from using their given'd be surprised at the mean people who have recognized others on here and used what was written against people. Give them nicknames - you'll be better off! :)

    I would check on the Special Education 101 forum about the school stuff, they really know what they're talking about - laws, rules etc., it really could be a great place to get some ideas. I know in NY (where I am from) whether they win or not, it costs a school roughly $10,000 dollars whether or not they win for an impartial hearing. I would consider slipping that in during a conversation with the school. :)

  15. Crystal72

    Crystal72 New Member

    Oh dear, I didn't even notice I put the names geez..I can't remove it now huh?
  16. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Yes, you can. On REALLY recent posts, if you go to your own post, you will see a button that allows you to edit.
    On older posts... you need to contact the site admin, (one post at a time) and ask that it be changed...

    But they're really good around here about helping to protect privacy - so there WILL be a way!
  17. Crystal72

    Crystal72 New Member

    We just returned from a 2.5 hrs evaluation with psychologist that works with young children. So far she doesn't see any kind of autism but she told me she is seeing ADHD and severe apraxia and impulsive Control disorder.the psychologist was disgusted that the school department removed the IEP on speech therapist .I have to wait for about a week for a formal report and then I would be talking to a advocate from parent network. And also talking to the pediatrician about intuitiv? A medication for ADHD. Any parent using that ?
  18. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Why does she feel your child has apraxia?

    in my opinion, I'd get another opinion and I'd find a neuropsychologist. 2.5 hours isn't much for testing. A child who displays ADHD behaviors and also has speech problems...I don't know. I don't see how she can rule out autistic spectrum completely. And the brother has Aspergers??? Does she know your other son is on the spectrum?

    I would go elsewhere for an evaluation. And I'd go to somebody privately. But that's me. Something sounds wrong with both the tester and the school...grrrrrrrrrr.

    Best of luck to you. I had to fight the ole school fight as well.
  19. Crystal72

    Crystal72 New Member

    She is the third psychologist/psychiatrist that rule out autism spectrum. When my older boy was this age, we couldn't get anything on his diagnoses. Not even ADHD or anything. The best we got out from a hospital neuropsychologist was something not otherwise specified and they even feel annoyed like I m challenging their profession. It was till 9 that the asperger came thruHow did the doctor get out of apraxia, well it's very obvious cos no other people would understand what he is talking about beside me and a lot of time I couldn't make out too. There are a lot of pronunciation he couldn't do, couldn't use a sentence and he is going to be 6 in two months. And she is the fourth that tested my child has apraxia.( let's not count in the crab the school does)I guess we might still look at neuropsychologist but we will take a step at a time. I will email the psychologist about the possibility of a neuropsychologist testingTomorrow we are meeting a therapist that work with children with behavioral issue. As far as I don't think it's going to help without a proper diagnoses, I rather try out than never tried.I m bringing him
  20. Crystal72

    Crystal72 New Member

    Ok I got the response from the psychologist about today. Parents with experience with this please advice"The neuropsychological testing is typically part of my evaluation; however,today some of the neuropsychologist pieces I tried with him could not be done dueto the Apraxia. *He was unable to respond to the memory assessment and someof the executive functioning assessments. *We can discuss further when Wemeet to review the report."