So her card said........

[Star*]

Happy Birthday -

Hope you like your card. Thats all there is.

And that's all there is.

No cake
No present
No dinner

He left her alone all day and slept. And then he said- That's not even the card I wanted to get you, but it's the one you got.
You're a woman - what's your thoughts?

Oh and she said "I got breakfast in bed, but he complained about getting that to me too."

So later in the evening the man says "Are you uspet with me?" She said "No. Not at all." ( I was thinking like her Why bother)

Any thoughts?

 

[HaoZi]

He hasn't been castrated yet? Or did you enjoy the quiet day?

 

[donna723]

I think I would find a subtle way to let him know that there will be payback, but when he least expects it, so he will always be looking over his shoulder and worrying! Might be tomorrow, might be next week or next month ... or it might be on HIS birthday! You just never know!

 

[keista]

Is it your birthday? Happy Birthday!

So later in the evening the man says "Are you uspet with me?" She said "No. Not at all."

So, I'm REALLY hoping this wasn't your day, because the Star I've come to know in just a short time, tells it like it is, and that is NOT the way it is by any stretch of the imagination.

Why bother? Because otherwise you are allowing yourself to be the insignificant, unimportant person that he is treating you as. Why bother? Because otherwise it's giving him permission to treat you like that ALWAYS. Why Bother? Because this is one of those occasions where it is worth the bother.

The only way this scenario is acceptable is if suitcases are being packed and one person is leaving forever in the morning. (preferably him, but it's easier to get up and leave than kick someone out)

My Aspie Dad, my Aspie son, and my jackass husband have always shown a gazillion times more consideration and compassion on EVERY birthday than that. Even if things went very wrong and did not work out as planned, there was always "more".

 

[Hound dog]

Why bother?

Because then you get 28 birthdays exactly like that 28 xmases like that, 28 anniversaries like that . Or.....you don't even get the card.

Which is why..........husband's birthdays he gets nothing, anniversary.....nothing, xmas........only if I know he got me something, but usually again......nothing.

Once I asked him a whole year early if for our 20th anniversary if we could do something special. I mean 20 yrs together is pretty darn special. Nothing huge like a cruise or anything, just special. All I wanted was dinner out to a sort of fancy smancy restaurant that would require me actually owning a dressy outfit, and seeing the King and I off broadway, tickets which could've been bought well in advanced.

Guess what I got? "happy anniversary." phht. That's it. Put up with his junk for 20 yrs.

After that, I told him you get when you give, otherwise.......forgetaboutit. ugh

Guess what I taught my kids? Let's just say their husband's show their affection and appreciation. Once, Nichole was gonna tell her husband to not buy her a gift for either her birthday or some such. I jumped on her and told her oh, no she never will. Giving her a gift didn't have to cost a fortune if someone cares enough to be creative, but don't you dare dare give him the right to not appreciate you or celebrate you.

Cuz that's what I did. Thought I was being so thoughtful. Our 2nd anniversary I fussed when he bought me emerald earrings and a nice negligee. I thought I was being considerate of our financial situation as we really couldn't afford it at all. But dumbest thing I ever did in my whole life. I've not gotten squat since.

So I tell my girls if money is tight, tell them to get creative, but never tell them it's ok not to give you something.

Wanna know what's even more pathetic?? The kids have tried for several years to guilt their dad into buying me gifts. They gave up.

You tell her to blast him but good, even if it won't "change" anything, he still deserves it.

 

[ML]

Star OMG I'm didn't realize it was your birthday. This doesn't sound like df. I am so sorry.

 

[Rabbit]

Happy Birthday Star! Hugs Rabbit

 

[susiestar]

Happy Birthday, Star!!!! I am sorry he didn't do more. I think it is time to tell him that you are having a "do-over" birthday and he WILL be finding a way to celebrate you on that day or he WILL be regretting the removal of his biker boots from his rectum without anesthetic (let him know you will tell the docs that he is allergic to ALL and ANY types of pain medications/anesthetics to the point that his throat swells shut so they will give him NO pain medications/anesthesia - and he will be in too much pain to tell them otherwise.).

 

[gcvmom]

What is HIS problem? Even if he's depressed, can't he pull it together for one day? Honestly.

 

[ThreeShadows]

Hugs and much love, Star! I'm glad you were born. How can anyone dare cross a Leo?

 

[DammitJanet]

Now why couldnt he get you the correct card? Was there a good reason? Perhaps watching your show in Walmart...lol. If that wasnt it, then shame on him! I have to admit I dont get much on my birthdays or Xmas but I normally get at least a cake and whatever I want to eat. Was he ticked off because of something? Did I call at a bad time? If so, Im sorry.

 

[AnnieO]

husband pulled this one year.

Once.

I doubt he will ever do it again.

I agree with the do-over birthday. And tell DF - when the Starbie ain't happy, ain't NOBODY happy!

 

[1905]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Now you know he's getting a 99 card for his birthday, if he's lucky. Today, right now, you are going out by yourself, you're not waiting for anyone to bring you flowers, you're getting yourself a birthday present. Get something special that you want. It's your birthday week.

Get something yummy to eat.
Enjoy every bite.

Spend the day exactly how YOU want to, and enjoy every moment!

He just taught you how to treat him on his birthday. And you'll leave him all alone, while you have a nice day to yourself.

Next year, you pick something out in advance, a restaurant you want to go to, whatever and plan your day. MEN!!!

 

[DDD]

Well.......I'm assuming it is DF and if it is a change from previous years I think it probably is because of the changed dynamic in your lifestyle. You are now working. You are no longer there all the time to help him, share with him, bring laughter into boring days. I bet he feels left behind and likely is feeling "more disabled" because he is on his own for longer periods of time than he has experienced.

Does that make it aok? Uh, no. on the other hand I'd bet that is the reason why. I think you are the leader of the family and when the leader is gone there is a huge gap. When the time is right I think you should explore the changes with him and try to find out what expectations are now and will be in the future. Hugs DDD

 

[Shari]

I'm sorry, Starbie. I had my nice husband yesterday, so I guess the stupid had to find another host for the day. Sure wish it hadn't been your df.

Give me his phone number. I'll let him know in no uncertain terms, that you do NOT treat STARS like that.

Happy birthday, Starbie.

 

[Jody]

Star's Birthday is Christmas Day. Must be a friend's birthday that was a catastrophe. I would get even. I would play some terrible prank on him. He would not ask me again if I was upset. Ever. I tried to post this earlier but it disappeared, if it shows up twice I apologize.

 

[Star*]

He's not being excused.........He's just not being included in any more holidays on purpose. I'm the dummy who thinks everyone enjoys celebrating - apparently not.

Pootie sat with me while I had my birthday dinner - Frosted Flakes. Then she sang happy birthday to me and we had a piece of pie I got at WM. I went to bed at 7:40 - he asked if I was angry, I said "nope" and he went back to bed. If he was looking for a confrontation to validate why he felt so lousy? He wasn't getting it from me. I did slap my hand over my mouth for wanting to play Smart @)) jeopardy as he walked out of the room because I came () close to saying "I'll take Eeyore for $1000 Alec".


And Janet --------my WM "exchange" as it were was on the 13th.........I shant say what I did but I'll leave it at I bet she wont have any more children OR stand so close to anyone in line any more.
NUF sed.


Thanks all!

 

[Star*]

I Like the do-over birthday idea......so I said - "I guess since yesterday was such a bomb - we could have a do-over birthday for me."

an he said.........ARE YOU READY?

WEll yeah.......I wouldn't mind another pie. (what does haoZi say-------face palm) OMG.....just shoot me now.

 

[HaoZi]

Are you ready?! OMW. Is he one of those rednecks whose idea of foreplay is "Brace y'self!"?

 

[flutterby]

I'd get the pie, but I wouldn't eat it. I would let him wear it, however.