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So, how do you detach? What did YOU do?
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 633788" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>I think in my family we have done a little bit of everything in getting to where we are today. </p><p></p><p>My son has been a difficult child from day one. I spent years, all his life, trying to get him fixed. Nothing really worked. I wont bore you with everything we tried but I dont think there was anything else we could have done. As he will tell you today, he was just gonna do what he was gonna do no matter what. Killing him would have been the only way to change that and that wasnt on the table. </p><p></p><p>My son also stole from us. It started quite early. First major thing he stole was at 12 when he stole my brand new car and got it stuck in the woods. He knew he was in major trouble so he tried to run away and that was a whole other big fiasco for him. See my son isnt a good criminal. Eventually at 21 he stole and forged some of my checks and that was it for me. I pressed charges. He ended up with three felonies because of that. During that time he was a pain in the rear and we did end up kicking him out at one point. I dont really remember when that happened because I lost a period of time due to an illness and that is probably just as well. </p><p></p><p>For awhile after my son got kicked out, I almost died and he was on intensive probation due to the felonies, things got better with him. He acted almost normal. Oh he was still a difficult child but one we could get along with. Things went down the toilet a little over a year ago when he got the job of a lifetime but it meant he was living halfway across the country from us. He has always been a follower and someone convinced him to try heroin and he did. That was the end of all progress. Of course he lost that job and he ended up back home. We didnt know why for a long time. When we found out it almost killed us. </p><p></p><p>We cant live with him anymore. More stuff was going on in my life in the past 3/4 years so all this stuff was just the topping on the cake. I have another son who has never moved out and I doubt he ever will. There father and I were fighting constantly and our relationship was just about over...after 30 years. Last January we decided to move out and have the two boys pay us rent to stay there. We moved into a small place for just us. </p><p></p><p>We dont give money. I will take my difficult child to his doctor appts provided he tells me ahead of time. We go to the same psychiatrist so our appts are at the same time so that is convenient. </p><p></p><p>I do hope one day Cory and I can have our relationship back. I know he misses what we used to have but I am just too done with it right now. I dont have a whole lot to say to him anymore. He calls me and wants to just chat but I wont stay on the phone for more than a minute or two. I have nothing to say. He is paying his rent so that's good. </p><p></p><p>Oh as far as blaming and all that. I have never had to deal with any of that stuff. My son knows whose fault all this is. I wasnt perfect and I know it. Both Cory and I have bipolar. However Cory will tell anyone that he does what he wants and we couldnt have done anything else and what we did do was done for his own good. I have a strange son.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 633788, member: 1514"] I think in my family we have done a little bit of everything in getting to where we are today. My son has been a difficult child from day one. I spent years, all his life, trying to get him fixed. Nothing really worked. I wont bore you with everything we tried but I dont think there was anything else we could have done. As he will tell you today, he was just gonna do what he was gonna do no matter what. Killing him would have been the only way to change that and that wasnt on the table. My son also stole from us. It started quite early. First major thing he stole was at 12 when he stole my brand new car and got it stuck in the woods. He knew he was in major trouble so he tried to run away and that was a whole other big fiasco for him. See my son isnt a good criminal. Eventually at 21 he stole and forged some of my checks and that was it for me. I pressed charges. He ended up with three felonies because of that. During that time he was a pain in the rear and we did end up kicking him out at one point. I dont really remember when that happened because I lost a period of time due to an illness and that is probably just as well. For awhile after my son got kicked out, I almost died and he was on intensive probation due to the felonies, things got better with him. He acted almost normal. Oh he was still a difficult child but one we could get along with. Things went down the toilet a little over a year ago when he got the job of a lifetime but it meant he was living halfway across the country from us. He has always been a follower and someone convinced him to try heroin and he did. That was the end of all progress. Of course he lost that job and he ended up back home. We didnt know why for a long time. When we found out it almost killed us. We cant live with him anymore. More stuff was going on in my life in the past 3/4 years so all this stuff was just the topping on the cake. I have another son who has never moved out and I doubt he ever will. There father and I were fighting constantly and our relationship was just about over...after 30 years. Last January we decided to move out and have the two boys pay us rent to stay there. We moved into a small place for just us. We dont give money. I will take my difficult child to his doctor appts provided he tells me ahead of time. We go to the same psychiatrist so our appts are at the same time so that is convenient. I do hope one day Cory and I can have our relationship back. I know he misses what we used to have but I am just too done with it right now. I dont have a whole lot to say to him anymore. He calls me and wants to just chat but I wont stay on the phone for more than a minute or two. I have nothing to say. He is paying his rent so that's good. Oh as far as blaming and all that. I have never had to deal with any of that stuff. My son knows whose fault all this is. I wasnt perfect and I know it. Both Cory and I have bipolar. However Cory will tell anyone that he does what he wants and we couldnt have done anything else and what we did do was done for his own good. I have a strange son. [/QUOTE]
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