So, I see a trend with-loners and shootings ...

[TerryJ2]

in regard to the Aurora, Colorado shooting at the Batman movie. It was a parallel that's hard to miss.
What a tragedy. On one hand, I want details, and on the other hand, I want to look away and ignore the whole thing. Seeing the expressions on the faces of family members in the news, and knowing what a senseless, out of left field thing it was makes me sick and scared.

 

[SuZir]

When my difficult child was a kid there was an incident that profiled very similar to school shootings locally. Few years later father of the culprit wrote a book about his son. I read the book and while my difficult child wasn't even really a teen yet, I really got a scare. That dad could had been talking about my son. Fortunately my son's path has taken different turns than that boy's (or few others who have done something similar here, with all of them I have always found similarities with my kid), but always when I hear something like this Denver case, I feel for the parents. And never have I really dared to tell the other parents that worry about school shootings that I didn't only worry for my son being a victim but growing up to be a culprit.

 

[TerryJ2]

I know the feeling. Hopefully, our interventions are making a difference. Some of the parents of other shooters have spoken out, saying they had sought the help of mental health experts, but I get the impression that they try for awhile, and give up.
Never, never, never, never give up.
(Where's that cartoon of the frog being swallowed by the crane, and the frog has his little webbed hands around the crane's throat?)

 

[recoveringenabler]

I've been around Mental Illness my entire life and although my family members have not been violent, reality is certainly thwarted and delusion is a powerful force. My opinion, (and of course there are experts all over the place who have their professional, educated opinions and are far more enlightened than me), but I look at substance abuse, alcoholism, violence, crime, manipulations of all kinds, so much in life, as some kind of mental illness at the root. For me, it's difficult to not be compassionate for all parties, the tragedy is felt by everyone, including the perpetrator, (if he lives), once his brain has time to readjust. The heartbreak of mental illness knows no limits and carries so many innocent people into tormented lives. I am often awestruck by the sheer magnitude of it.

 

[SuZir]

My difficult child has never really been physically violent, even when cornered he lashes out verbally, not physically (and he is a big kid so he could intimidate others physically, but he doesn't.) So I have never really worries about him becoming a thug kind of violent criminal. But many school shooters (and perpetrators of crimes similar to that profile) don't seem to be 'traditional thug types.' Here they have all been more nerdy kids, not fitting in, bullied, no real violent behaviour before the act. And what I read from that book what the dad told about his son while younger really hit home to me. Maybe just different circumstances, just less success in his sport and feeling a failure also in that and being cut from teams in bad time (around 14 or 15) and I may had really had reason to worry.

Of course there are lots of kids who fit to that profile of those who do this type of acts and 99,9... % of them never act it out. Some may fantasize about it, some even plan it but never really plan to act on it, some have a plan and plan to act but for a reason or other never do. And some very, very rare individual do act. And it is always an horrible tragedy. But like with suicides media should be very careful how to talk about these things. Like suicides (and murdering your family and then killing yourself) they seem to be epidemic. Wrong way of talking about them may very well cause more of these tragedies.

 

[AnnieO]

I know the feeling. Hopefully, our interventions are making a difference. Some of the parents of other shooters have spoken out, saying they had sought the help of mental health experts, but I get the impression that they try for awhile, and give up.
Never, never, never, never give up.

And that's where it gets really hard... because sometimes, detachment looks a lot like giving up.

 

[TerryJ2]

I am often awestruck by the sheer magnitude of it.

I am, too.