So irritated with Tony's oldest brother-Update

[DammitJanet]

and Tony's apparent lack of a backbone where he is concerned. His brother called him this morning around 8 am and informed him he would be coming up today and spending this weekend with us. Didnt call to ask if it would be okay. Just said he would be coming to the area and would be spending the weekend with us. Meaning spending the weekend in our house. Now I dont like this guy and I havent since I let him stay with us back during the first year or two Tony and I were together. He was an ass then and my opinion of him hasnt changed much. Supposedly he is in the church now and they have supplied him with a house and medical care and all this junk. He has this woman who has relatives down here which is why he comes down here. He has come down here at least 5 times this summer and it always is at the last minute. He never has much money and one time his car broke down on the way down and he didnt have the money to fix it and we had to send him the money to pay for it to get repaired and get him home. Another time he got in a car wreck and had to stay longer. I am ticked. This is Xmas weekend for pete's sake. You dont just show up on someone's door step that weekend. I have let Tony know just how irritated I am. I didnt help clean the house. I didnt cook. I didnt come out of my room. Because of this we didnt get to go on the car ride with Keyana and her daddy to see the xmas lights before she had to be taken back to her mom's so we wont see her till Sunday. I am doubly ticked over that. Tony better remember we have to go out tomorrow to get our last minute gifts and wrap presents. I obviously wont get up till around 10 or 11 because I cant sleep! If Tony thinks he is going hunting at 2 he is crazy. Not and leave me home with his brother. I dont entertain people I dont invite. I have a hard enough time entertaining people I do invite...lol.

 

[1905]

JANET HE** NO!!! And this is your time with Keyanna. You will call him up and kindly inform him that you have plans and he will not be able to visit you at this time and on short notice. You don't need to go into lots of explaining. The word "no" is enough. Seriously, what the heck is wrong with Tony? If he's not willing to fix it, you must. No way to that guy. OMG, you finally have your granddaughter and this is what he does? Did he think you would be ok with it? Seriously, men!

 

[HaoZi]

I believe I would "suddenly" have plans for the weekend - elsewhere. Heck, go stay with Cory for Christmas since Keyana is part of your Christmas present, and if Tony is smart about it he'll tell his brother the same. Brother sounds like a difficult child himself, direct him to a shelter or a motel for the weekend. "Sorry, no room at the inn."

 

[lovemysons]

Boy I hear ya Janet.

My husband had a difficult child friend from his teenage yrs that used to "drop in on us" with no ticket home, so to speak. We ALWAYS had to go out of our way and provide EVERYthing for him. Geez. So not a good time to be intruding on your family. Some people have zero consideration for other people's lives.
And Tony is walking on thin ice sounds like.

Hang in there,
Hugs,
LMS

 

[Hound dog]

And this would be why husband never invited anyone to our house, most especially his bro, whom even at this stage of the game I can barely tolerate. I didn't start it. His bro has had an issue with me from the get go for some unknown reason...........But be darned if I'm going to be subjected to it in my own home. Oh, heck no!

 

[DammitJanet]

I cant call him and say no, he just shows up. This is the first year in ohh....the last 20 years that they have shown an interest in us. I dont think it us in any way at all right now, I just think we are a convenient place to stay for him when he comes down for his girl. He is already here. The girl is already at her parents. Ugh. I cant believe he has to do laundry already. Huh? He has only been here one day!

 

[Hound dog]

He is with you and the girl is with her parents?? wth? Doesn't that strike you as a tad strange? Shouldn't he be visiting her family WITH her? They are, afterall, a couple.

Laundry? Sounds like he brought some with him. good grief.

 

[buddy]

OH Janet, I am so sorry. Dont forget to put your expectations for plans down on a schedule so Tony can't conveniently forget! UGGG

I want you to have a wonderful time with Keyanna okay??? Give her hugs from her cyber auntie

 

[klmno]

I haven't read the responses- I'm just thinking T should tell him sorry, you have company planned already and have no room and he can check with the woman's relatives for a place to stay. And if T won't do that, make sure all the bedrooms are full when he shows up and make it obvious there is no room except a patch of floor near the front door. Maybe that will motivate him to come up with another idea on his own.

 

[Signorina]

So long as he is doing laundry - he can do yours too...and then wash the windows, and do whatever else you need around the house...

"OH brother in law how nice it is that you came here to help us around the house, what an answer to a prayer..."

Can't shoot him, may as well put him to work LOL

 

[DammitJanet]

Keyana was only here last night for an evening of lights and had to go back home for her events today and early tomorrow morning. We will get her mid-day tomorrow which is okay with us because we will have her all next week until she leaves.

Tony's brother swears this girl is just a friend because he is "in the church ya know"...baloney. I am absolutely sick of everyone in my extended family using "being in the church" to explain away their bad behaviors.

 

[1905]

Give him some chores, seriously! I agree with the others. Tell Billy to get his butt in gear too, they'll both do chores alongside each other. Tell Billy this is all you want for Christmas, and chose a chore you need done. If all else fails, go right to Cory's house.

 

[Steely]

Unacceptable!!!
I am so sorry!
HUGS

 

[susiestar]

I am so sorry. Put him to work and if he won't then send him to a motel. If Tony disagrees then he can go with his bro. This is just ridiculous.

Have you and Cory discussed filing temp custody papers while Keyana is with you next week and NOT returning her to her mother? If there is no custody order then you have EVERY right to do this. Whoever files first wins the first round.

Just a thought.

Enjoy the time with Keyana and make Tony and his bro and Billy do chores and if they won't then do WHATEVER you want that makes them uncomfortable. Pretend you are Billie, lol!

Seriously, you are one heck of a powerful, creative woman and can figure out some VERRRRRRRYYYY creative ways to make your unhappiness known and make Tony's bro not want to come back.

Merry Christmas.

Remember the motto I learned from my father: "I don't get ulcers. I GIVE them."

With my dad complaining got you a second and sometimes a third helping of whatever it was you didn't like.

 

[DammitJanet]

Well at least he cleaned my kitchen top to bottom while Tony and I were out buying the last of our baby presents and stocking stuffers. That was nice. He just bugs me. He should be leaving sometime today. He has to go see this girls family at sometime today. I had to wrap a present for her mother. I have a sinking feeling he will be coming down more because she is trying to reunite with her children that she lost due to her drug use. Ugh. Thing is, he works at Burger King and thinks it is wonderful. He could do so much better. I remember when he used to cook at really good restaurants. I have no idea why he doesnt now.

 

[Hound dog]

I remember when he used to cook at really good restaurants. I have no idea why he doesnt now.

Maybe you should ask him, then encourage him to try to do that again. Sometimes people just need a reminder.

Well, shoot, if the man was gonna clean you should've told him to stay a few more days!! You might've had a completely cleaned up house by the time he left. Darn it! LOL That was, indeed, sweet of him to do.

 

[klmno]

Oh, then why didn't he cook a good dinner for you all?

I'm glad it will be over for you soon!

 

[DammitJanet]

Now it gets worse...

We went to leave to head for Cory's house to have Xmas dinner with all the presents that we had wrapped. The plan was for Tony and I to go in our pick up and his brother go in his car so he could eat then go pick up the girl then leave. Billy was to come in his car so he could leave whenever he wanted to. We werent sure when we would get Keyana this afternoon. Turns out it wont be till 5.

Well....Buck's(brother)car wont start! He opens the hood and sort of tells us when Tony says something to him about all the OIL all over his engine that it started sounding funny about 50 miles before he got to the HOUSE!!!!! Now I dont know what anyone expects us to do but we have NO money.

Oh, I think I hear the car trying to turn over. Please god. Please. I swear, if he ever comes back I will move completely out. In fact, I will take my house off this property. I own the dang house!

 

[DDD]

Hmmmmmm....I think I could even be nice to GFGmom if she cleaned my house. That's terrific that you finally got somebody to do the job in the kitchen. on the other hand, I'm sure you're eager for the goodbyes. DDD

 

[klmno]

OMG- this must be Murphy's Christmas. LOL!

Now you know why he cleaned the stove. sigh