So, I've been here a

[klmno]

little over a year now and I've noticed that some of the people that seemed to be here so often have just "disappeared". Has it always been that way?

I expected that some people would come just for a short time, then decide that this wasn't the place for them. But, some people really seemed to "stick" and I wonder where they are and what happened to them and their difficult child's. I guess I never relaized that I could almost feel attached to people I've never actually met in person- LOL!

So, I was just wondering if this is common...? I guess it wouldn't be respecting another's privacy to have a "whatever happened to so-and-so" thread.

 

[Abbey]

Yep. Common.

Understand that sometimes people just need a break from dealing with all this stuff. They don't mean to be offensive, they just can't handle right now. I have a couple from 10 years ago I've been trying to get in touch with.

I think this especially applies to those of us who have grown kids. It's like...wow...I can breathe. I don't want to deal with anyone else's problems. You care, but just need some down time.

We all venture back at some time. Just keep in touch.

Abbey

 

[Shari]

Ditto Abbey.

There have been some "what happened to ...." threads. I think its ok to ask the general population. Sometimes folks get personal emails and exchange contacts outside the board, so someone may know where someone else is and can update.

Like you, I've often wondered what happened to some of them.

 

[Hound dog]

Yep.

Actually, there are several I haven't seen around and have been wondering how they are.

 

[Marguerite]

Some people take a break when things are going well. Some people take a break because life is just too hectic. I've known some people to post a great deal in a very short time and then just drop out entirely once they've got it out of their systems.

Some people only post when they have a big problem, so I guess for them no news is good news. I must admit, I don't often begin a thread about a problem, either - I tend to respond to other people and I get a lot out of that, for me.

I remember in the lead-up to Katrina there was a member we had who was posting about their preparations and what was happening. All the things she was worrying about, her animals, their home, her husband (who wanted to take his family out, but was not permitted to leave, by his boss) - we've not heard from her since and I've never forgotten. I still wonder how they are, where they are. I hope they're doing OK - after what they must have gone through, a lot of the problems we talk about here must have seemed so insignificant.

Marg

 

[judi]

Agree - I am a moderator at a large nursing bulletin board and we have the same thing. I've been here since 2001 when our son was first admitted to the hospital. Things have gone up and down and down and down - lol.

However, he is now 23. However, our lives do go on. I do read here but have little to post about since our son is out of the house.

 

[Star*]

I'm not disappearing -

I am trying to become invisible.

 

[OpenWindow]

I'm one of those who comes and goes. I used to be here all the time. I'm the obsessive type so I spent all my spare time on the board, or researching, or talking about difficult child stuff. At work I ended up with a new boss I couldn't stand so I started looking for a job - took up practically all of my spare time, it was my new obsession. Then we moved the family to a new state for my new job. I love my job but I have never been so busy in my life. I used to post throughout the day at work, but with this new job I never find time for a break. I've also gotten a lot more freelance work to keep me busy (and we sure can use the money), and am trying to turn my current obsession, photography, into more side jobs.

So I'd say it's life and work and just never having a spare moment that's kept me away. I'm trying to get back because I know as difficult child goes through puberty and teenager-ness, I'll be needing all the help I can get. I credit this board with saving my son's life and my self-confidence as a parent, and will always be grateful. When I'm not here I really miss being a part of the "family". I have found it is hard to come back because of all the new people who have come who I don't know - I don't know their story but everyone else does - and wondering if my "old friends" remember me and not knowing what's been going on with them for the last year or so (things can change drastically with a difficult child), and wondering what's happened to the other "old friends" who also haven't posted recently. I've done it a couple of times now, and I think coming back is harder than starting as a new member.

 

[TerryJ2]

Ditto all of the above. I'm a member of a writing bb, and when someone drops out for too long, we go in search, and also start a "Whatever happened to?" thread. It's really hard to stay on several bbs at once, plus do emails, plus deal with-our kids, but sometimes it's a lifeline.

 

[Abbey]

Awww, Linda...there's some of us old foggies that remember you. Thanks for checking in!!

Abbey

 

[TerryJ2]

Just out of curiousity, where do we look to find out when we joined?

 

[Abbey]

Terry,

It says it in the upper right hand corner of your post. BUT, it's not real accurate. I joined (ha!!) a good 10 years ago but when it changes servers, etc., that info is not normally transferred.

Abbey

 

[OpenWindow]

Shucks... thanks Abbey.

Mine says I joined June 2003 but it was really 8 or 9 years ago I think.

 

[Marcie Mac]

I have been an official member for almost 9 years - counting the time I lurked. I joined when Dan was 14 - wasn't even really positive he would live to 15, let alone make it to 24 LOL

I remember there were a ton of boys all about the same age, all into the same crapola. Danny grew up with a bunch of boys he never even knew personally but were pretty much all clones of each other, if if I was fortunate enough to be wise to his stunts, it was because one of the other moms posted before on the same thing.

The board was a lifesaver, and brought some really good friends into my life. Even though I don't post much about him - what can I really say cept he is so much better than he was, but still a work in progress - I still can't bring myself not to come here on a daily basis - like having my cup of fresh coffee first thing in the morning.

Marcie

 

[TerryJ2]

Abbey, uh DUH!!! ROFL.
Don't mind me. I'm blind.

 

[Abbey]

Marcie...isn't that somewhat scary? It's been SO long. For me it was a lifesaver in the beginning years, now great friendships. I also hope I help someone along this path.

I'm still looking for Joe's Mom (Karen). I know she has a lovely grandaughter that must be about 5 now. Seen lots of pics, but haven't heard from her in over a year. She's moved a bit and her email is not valid.

Loved to see Rita pop in.

Abbey

 

[Star*]

I joined february 2, 2000. I know that because I said when I got a computer I was going to start looking for other people who had a kid like Dude - He was 9.5 then. I was slim and pretty.

He's 18 and I'm plus size due to chemically altered body from stress and pretty.

 

[klmno]

Wow- these stories are great!

You are magnificent, Star!! Don't kid yourself- you've done fine!! And Dude will get the point....

 

[amazeofgrace]

some people have also had to change names for security reasons, so same people but new names

 

[Abbey]

I joined february 2, 2000. I know that because I said when I got a computer I was going to start looking for other people who had a kid like Dude - He was 9.5 then. I was slim and pretty.

He's 18 and I'm plus size due to chemically altered body from stress and pretty.

Awww, Star...you're still slim and pretty.

Abbey