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So, I've moved beyond numb...
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 63097" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Oh, Heather, I am so sorry. </p><p></p><p>by the way, don't assume that there's no going back with-your friend. I had a falling out last yr, for the first time, with-a friend I've known for 16 yrs. Considering our differences, it's amazing we hadn't had a falling out b4 then. Eg, she was a deputy sheriff/bailiff, ran a tight schedule in the courtroom, wore the same uniform and carried a gun for 20 yrs, mistrusted everyone and everything. I was a writer and artist on a "whatever" schedule, wore anything I wanted, (usually covered with-paint), and thought everyone was a good guy. She has no children, I have two. She is divorced, I am married. </p><p>You get the idea.</p><p>Our falling out was mostly the result of her perception that I was taking advantage of her, taking her for granted, and was always late. Yes, I do tend to run late. My favorite clock is circular, has a pile of numbers at the bottom, and at the top, says, "Whatever." </p><p>She HATES that clock.</p><p>She offered to help me paint a mural at a restaurant. She did the large background colors, I did the actual artwork. She did 6 coats of varnish on top of everything. She was a great help and great company.</p><p>One day, I forgot that I said I'd be there at 9 a.m. She showed up, waited, got mad, left. (I had a key and the door was locked.)</p><p>I left a msg on her machine that was somewhat nonsensical, only partially realizing that I was supposed to have been there... I really needed to call to confirm.</p><p>It was my fault.</p><p></p><p>However, there were 2 other instances where we had misundertandings, and instead of telling me, she let it ride. She got madder and madder and eventually exploded.</p><p></p><p>I was treated to silence.</p><p>And then, a very nasty, very long email that broke my heart.</p><p>I cried for 3 days.</p><p></p><p>I still cry when I think about it. I may be stupid but I'm not mean. She was accusatory and vindictive and said things that she still regrets.</p><p>Which I happen to know ... because we made up.</p><p></p><p>It took a month but we did it.</p><p></p><p>Give it some time.</p><p></p><p>If there's one thing you need in life, it's friends. Especially when you have a difficult child. </p><p></p><p>Other than that, Heather, I hear you on every level. Oh, God, I heard you. It is SO hard and we get SO down.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there. You're not alone.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 63097, member: 3419"] Oh, Heather, I am so sorry. by the way, don't assume that there's no going back with-your friend. I had a falling out last yr, for the first time, with-a friend I've known for 16 yrs. Considering our differences, it's amazing we hadn't had a falling out b4 then. Eg, she was a deputy sheriff/bailiff, ran a tight schedule in the courtroom, wore the same uniform and carried a gun for 20 yrs, mistrusted everyone and everything. I was a writer and artist on a "whatever" schedule, wore anything I wanted, (usually covered with-paint), and thought everyone was a good guy. She has no children, I have two. She is divorced, I am married. You get the idea. Our falling out was mostly the result of her perception that I was taking advantage of her, taking her for granted, and was always late. Yes, I do tend to run late. My favorite clock is circular, has a pile of numbers at the bottom, and at the top, says, "Whatever." She HATES that clock. She offered to help me paint a mural at a restaurant. She did the large background colors, I did the actual artwork. She did 6 coats of varnish on top of everything. She was a great help and great company. One day, I forgot that I said I'd be there at 9 a.m. She showed up, waited, got mad, left. (I had a key and the door was locked.) I left a msg on her machine that was somewhat nonsensical, only partially realizing that I was supposed to have been there... I really needed to call to confirm. It was my fault. However, there were 2 other instances where we had misundertandings, and instead of telling me, she let it ride. She got madder and madder and eventually exploded. I was treated to silence. And then, a very nasty, very long email that broke my heart. I cried for 3 days. I still cry when I think about it. I may be stupid but I'm not mean. She was accusatory and vindictive and said things that she still regrets. Which I happen to know ... because we made up. It took a month but we did it. Give it some time. If there's one thing you need in life, it's friends. Especially when you have a difficult child. Other than that, Heather, I hear you on every level. Oh, God, I heard you. It is SO hard and we get SO down. Hang in there. You're not alone. [/QUOTE]
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