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Parent Emeritus
So many sleepless nights...
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 729440" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Given your son's past behavior, why would you want him in your home for any reason? He is an adult and can figure things out for himself. Your husband is your primary responsibility. He cannot handle the stress of living with your son, as proven by his stress induced stroke in the past. Please don't EVER let your son live with you. Not even overnight!</p><p></p><p>As for your son not being able to help his behavior due to having ADHD/bipolar/addiction/whatever, I call nonsense. My son went through the diagnosis merry-go-round for some time, ending with Aspergers (high functioning autism), ADHD, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Even with those problems, he is still responsible for his behaviors. He had medications to help him behave better, but the final responsibility was ALWAYS on his shoulders. He is 26 and now he appreciates that we NEVER let him use his problems to get out of bad behavior. His behavior was dangerous and horrible at times, but we did all we could to hold him accountable. If we didn't, eventually the world would, as it should. </p><p></p><p>Your son is an adult. He needs to go be an adult and not come home to you. If his meth creates problems, he needs to figure out those solutions on his own, without dropping them on your shoulders, regardless of whatever he claims his problems are. He is NOT your little boy any longer. He is a full grown man who wants Mommy to take care of him. Mommy has herself and her husband to care for. </p><p></p><p>Think back long and hard on all those years when you could not get him out of your home, and how miserable and scared you were. Do you want to go there again?? You owe him NOTHING! No matter what he tells you, you have given him all that you ever owed him. </p><p></p><p>Alanon and NarcAnon are very close, and they can be so helpful. It is NEVER a parent's job to support a drug abusing child, no matter if that child puts a guilt trip on the parent or not. The child chose the drugs, not the parent.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 729440, member: 1233"] Given your son's past behavior, why would you want him in your home for any reason? He is an adult and can figure things out for himself. Your husband is your primary responsibility. He cannot handle the stress of living with your son, as proven by his stress induced stroke in the past. Please don't EVER let your son live with you. Not even overnight! As for your son not being able to help his behavior due to having ADHD/bipolar/addiction/whatever, I call nonsense. My son went through the diagnosis merry-go-round for some time, ending with Aspergers (high functioning autism), ADHD, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Even with those problems, he is still responsible for his behaviors. He had medications to help him behave better, but the final responsibility was ALWAYS on his shoulders. He is 26 and now he appreciates that we NEVER let him use his problems to get out of bad behavior. His behavior was dangerous and horrible at times, but we did all we could to hold him accountable. If we didn't, eventually the world would, as it should. Your son is an adult. He needs to go be an adult and not come home to you. If his meth creates problems, he needs to figure out those solutions on his own, without dropping them on your shoulders, regardless of whatever he claims his problems are. He is NOT your little boy any longer. He is a full grown man who wants Mommy to take care of him. Mommy has herself and her husband to care for. Think back long and hard on all those years when you could not get him out of your home, and how miserable and scared you were. Do you want to go there again?? You owe him NOTHING! No matter what he tells you, you have given him all that you ever owed him. Alanon and NarcAnon are very close, and they can be so helpful. It is NEVER a parent's job to support a drug abusing child, no matter if that child puts a guilt trip on the parent or not. The child chose the drugs, not the parent. [/QUOTE]
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