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<blockquote data-quote="donna723" data-source="post: 19003" data-attributes="member: 1883"><p>Vent away, Janna! been there done that, so I know exactly how you feel! My ex- was just like that with my son! It's been ten years now, and my blood still boils when I think of some of the things he did to that boy! It hurts waaaay more to think of how he hurt my son than it does to think of some of the (awful!) things he did to ME! </p><p></p><p>:grrr:</p><p></p><p>And mightymouse, you hit the nail right on the head: </p><p></p><p><em>"I just told her that it wasn't that he didn't love her, he just loves himself more and is more concerned with making himself happy than making anyone else happy."</em></p><p></p><p>That's it EXACTLY! My ex- was and IS the most selfish, self-centered person on the face of the earth, and nothing or nobody comes before his own self-interests - even his own children! I confess that I couldn't always refrain from bad-mouthing him when I was going through all this when the kids were younger. But I never lied to them about it either. And I never covered for him. Just let him dig his own hole and then fall in to it!</p><p></p><p>And Janna, some day your kids will probably do exactly what my son did, all on their own! My son is 26 now, and he knows EXACTLY what his father is because he saw it all for himself and he's not stupid! He technically "loves" him because he is still his father, but he sure doesn't <em>LIKE</em> him, not one bit. He has learned to expect nothing from him, and then he's not hurt or disappointed when that's what he gets - nothing! In fact, he even laughs about it sometimes now. And he came to these conclusions all on his own with no help from me. He knows now that it was his fathers' shortcomings, not his own, but it took a long, long time and it hurt a lot along the way! And now, he hardly ever hears from his father, maybe a call on Christmas and his birthday (just for show) and that's it. His father is NOT a part of his life now and he has no one to blame but himself. Too d*mned bad! "You reap what you sow"! If my son had some kind of big news to share, something going on in his life, it wouldn't even occur to him to call his dad! I think, all along, my son has always considered me to be his only parent, and that's pretty much the way it was, and still is! And your kids will probably feel exactly the same way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="donna723, post: 19003, member: 1883"] Vent away, Janna! been there done that, so I know exactly how you feel! My ex- was just like that with my son! It's been ten years now, and my blood still boils when I think of some of the things he did to that boy! It hurts waaaay more to think of how he hurt my son than it does to think of some of the (awful!) things he did to ME! [img]:grrr:[/img] And mightymouse, you hit the nail right on the head: [i]"I just told her that it wasn't that he didn't love her, he just loves himself more and is more concerned with making himself happy than making anyone else happy."[/i] That's it EXACTLY! My ex- was and IS the most selfish, self-centered person on the face of the earth, and nothing or nobody comes before his own self-interests - even his own children! I confess that I couldn't always refrain from bad-mouthing him when I was going through all this when the kids were younger. But I never lied to them about it either. And I never covered for him. Just let him dig his own hole and then fall in to it! And Janna, some day your kids will probably do exactly what my son did, all on their own! My son is 26 now, and he knows EXACTLY what his father is because he saw it all for himself and he's not stupid! He technically "loves" him because he is still his father, but he sure doesn't [i]LIKE[/i] him, not one bit. He has learned to expect nothing from him, and then he's not hurt or disappointed when that's what he gets - nothing! In fact, he even laughs about it sometimes now. And he came to these conclusions all on his own with no help from me. He knows now that it was his fathers' shortcomings, not his own, but it took a long, long time and it hurt a lot along the way! And now, he hardly ever hears from his father, maybe a call on Christmas and his birthday (just for show) and that's it. His father is NOT a part of his life now and he has no one to blame but himself. Too d*mned bad! "You reap what you sow"! If my son had some kind of big news to share, something going on in his life, it wouldn't even occur to him to call his dad! I think, all along, my son has always considered me to be his only parent, and that's pretty much the way it was, and still is! And your kids will probably feel exactly the same way. [/QUOTE]
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