Loving Abbey 2
Not really a Newbie
So we moved about 3 weeks ago now. difficult child has really strugled her mood and behavior. To the extent that the home based team has told me that I should bring her back to the hospital 2 or 3 times. I'm not doing it, it didn't help and I'm not doing it again. This past few days she seems to be doing a bit better though, it could be because she has been sick or because she started Trileptal again (she took it when she was 4).
However, of note is that last week she told her uncle a story about how the "pizza guy" broke into the house and went into her room and had her lie on her bed naked because he "wanted to play with her front". Needless to say I've been freaking. The pizza guy thing is not possible but the content of this story is the main issue. I haven't questioned her about it but have told her that we will be going to talk to someone about it to make sure she is kept safe. It's so hard because it is easy to contaminate a child's story just by asking questions.
But I've been running through my head all the males who have been alone with her, and well there have been a few. I mean, she has grandfathers and great grandfathers, my s2bx, etc. It's impossible to keep a child from ever being alone with an adult man. With all the things this kid has to deal with, this is not somethinig she should have to deal with. I have always been so careful with her. I can't even think about this being real yet. I'll just fall apart. I know she's the kid (and potential victim) and I'm the adult but I can't deal with it if this happened to her. It doesn't seem fair that all this should happen to my child. It doesn't seem fair that no matter how hard I have trieed to protect her and provide her with a stable life and lots of love and nurturance, she still has all these horrible aflictions. It's like all my worst nightmares have come through and I have no control at all.
Will we ever find our way out of this horrible place we have fallen into? All I ever wanted was for her to be average. I had such a horrible childhood that I just wanted her to be average, I wanted her to be like everyone else (more or less), to not have to fight every step of the way....it seems that was too much to ask for.
My poor baby...
However, of note is that last week she told her uncle a story about how the "pizza guy" broke into the house and went into her room and had her lie on her bed naked because he "wanted to play with her front". Needless to say I've been freaking. The pizza guy thing is not possible but the content of this story is the main issue. I haven't questioned her about it but have told her that we will be going to talk to someone about it to make sure she is kept safe. It's so hard because it is easy to contaminate a child's story just by asking questions.
But I've been running through my head all the males who have been alone with her, and well there have been a few. I mean, she has grandfathers and great grandfathers, my s2bx, etc. It's impossible to keep a child from ever being alone with an adult man. With all the things this kid has to deal with, this is not somethinig she should have to deal with. I have always been so careful with her. I can't even think about this being real yet. I'll just fall apart. I know she's the kid (and potential victim) and I'm the adult but I can't deal with it if this happened to her. It doesn't seem fair that all this should happen to my child. It doesn't seem fair that no matter how hard I have trieed to protect her and provide her with a stable life and lots of love and nurturance, she still has all these horrible aflictions. It's like all my worst nightmares have come through and I have no control at all.
Will we ever find our way out of this horrible place we have fallen into? All I ever wanted was for her to be average. I had such a horrible childhood that I just wanted her to be average, I wanted her to be like everyone else (more or less), to not have to fight every step of the way....it seems that was too much to ask for.
My poor baby...