I'm in shock. Sort of. difficult child is 18. Ex-girlfriend is 16. Scary stuff. They're both juniors in HS.I dreaded this ever since he met her. I even gave him condoms. I constantly interrupted them when they were in our living room, watching TV under a blanket ("hey, it's 90 degrees outside. Get rid of the blanket!" I'd flip on all the lights, yank off the blankets, then vacuum around their feet. Obviously, I didn't vacuum enough. I was waaaay too late. According to him, they started within 4 months of their relationship. So they'd been intimate for two years with no protection, so why bother now? Plus, she didn't like the feeling. She's making up her mind what to do. Unless she's very high risk, she won't abort. Think "adoption, adoption, adoption" and send vibes our way! They broke up because difficult child said that no matter what he did, he couldn't make her happy. They fought over the most miniscule things. Her parents are divorced, and her mother spent 2 yrs taking care of her mentally ill mother in their house. (She died a few months ago.) Mom never wasted a day, not forgetting to tell her daughter how she wishes she could go back in time to when she was 20 and having fun, and wished she'd never had a baby. When I often took the kids somewhere, and asked what time Mom wanted her home, her most common answer was, "I don't care." husband and I have wanted to strangle her so many times. Now I want to strangle both of the kids. No way can difficult child "make" anyone happy who has been emotionally abused like that. Meanwhile, he's got his sights set on a senior, who happens to be Muslim. From Iraq. "You're not sleeping with her, are you?" "NO." "Good, because that would be so stupid on so many levels." "And I'm not telling her about D." "Good." He doesn't know what he wants to do, in regard to a girlfriend, and knows that D is high-maintenance and they were unhappy. During the month of Dec., we cautiously urged him to continue to break up, because they' were both so miserable. difficult child has been acting out lately, skipping classes, flunking classes, losing his job at McDonald's, arguing with everyone, drank a bottle of Tequila 1800 in the car with a girl friend--right in our driveway--then let his guy friends smoke in the car, which was our number one rule not to do. He came home from school one day with passenger side mirror ripped off and had no idea how it happened. And he got a speeding ticket. Of course, we took the car away. He went off of his lithium when we went to Calif for New Year's, and he was very grumpy and sullen. When we got home, it got worse. Mean tone of voice, total disrespect for us and the typical, "I'm 18 now. I can do whatever I want!" We thought for sure he was doing pot or spice, in addition to going off of his lithium and suffering a major depressive episode, and I convinced the psychiatrist to prescribe an antidepressant, as well. difficult child only took one, and refused the rest. Looking back on it, I can see that there was a big picture that we just were not aware of. He freaked out when he found out (She's 2-3 mo's along) and just gave up. Gave up school, work, trying. Trying anything. "My life as I know it is now over," he told me today, in the car, tears streaming down his face. The due date is somewhere in September, the same birthday month as ex-girlfriend D. Also, we have a wedding in MN on Sept 5 so I hope we don't have to choose one over the other. I'll worry about those details after the dr's report in two weeks. The past 4 days, difficult child has been his old self. His lithium levels are back (at least, from my observations), he attitude is better, he is talking more, he's eating, he stayed after school twice this week to catch up. He has filled out three job applications. He said that after his initial panic, all of a sudden everything clicked, and he thought, "I have to get a job to help with this baby." It helped for him to get it out. He had not told anyone else, except for a conversation with-girlfriend's mom yesterday. I texted the mom and told her that I had not told husband yet. I think we should sit down and tell husband on Saturday afternoon. easy child is in town for two days. Even though I would be blindsiding her with-the info, as well, she's got so much training now, I think she could keep the whole thing form spiraling out of control. She is a fabulous facilitator. And she's going to be the commencement speaker at graduation! She's rehearsing already. Right now, I feel like I have a huge, heavy stone hanging inside my chest. It's weighing me down. My hands are trembling and I am very forgetful. (The dental surgery didn't help.) I put things down and forget where they are.