FluffyOne
New Member
This morning, I woke to a rambling text from Difficult Child daughter (sent at 1:19am). Again, I need to preface with some background info. She contacted our former pastor on facetime last Wednesday. She may have made it sound like we refuse all contact with her because he asked if we had heard from her and if there was anything we wanted to ask her. I told him that she had just called my husband on Monday. My husband said he learned that she got a replacement Job Corps card (where they deposit the approximately $22 she earns every 2 weeks). Also, she told my husband that she got someone to pay her phone bill for her (she called from her own phone). Debit card and driving permit still MIA and she still doesn't seem to care.
She sent a muti-page apology. Sorry for disrespecting me, sorry for calling me names, thanking me for giving her and her siblings food and a place to live and more, she's sorry for being rude. Then talked about the self harm not being for attention, but because she needed help (we sent her to residential care and therapy - no change). Blamed it on her depression (which from what I can tell, the medications she's on aren't helping). Says it's hard not talking to me. Wants to talk to me in person and knows that I still love her. Said I became the mom that she never had and is so sorry for how she treated me in the past. She wants to work this out "in person".
My gut reaction is that this is due to the uncertainty of the current state of affairs (COVID19 and that we wouldn't let her come to our house and would allow her to instead go to a homeless shelter). She is trying to pass some final test/tests for her CNA (don't know for certain how accurate this is because she has been telling us this since last September) to graduate from Job Corps. The reality of the fact that she doesn't have us as a back up may finally be sinking in. I feel this is text is a manipulation, because I've fallen for it before while she still lived with us. She cannot live with us, period. We will not be supporting her financially, period. We will not be putting her on our health insurance again, period (we have an HSA). Honestly, I don't want to see her again - ever. Does that make me as big a jerk as it makes me feel typing it just now? She shrieked the b-word at me for an entire weekend before, has physically attacked me, her sisters and her (then) 8 year old brother. I know she hasn't changed because Borderline (BPD) takes a lot of HARD personal work (with specially trained professionals) that she (I still don't believe) is willing to put in. Like I said, she has yet to really have consequences for her past actions. Us not letting her come here was probably the biggest one so far.
She sent a muti-page apology. Sorry for disrespecting me, sorry for calling me names, thanking me for giving her and her siblings food and a place to live and more, she's sorry for being rude. Then talked about the self harm not being for attention, but because she needed help (we sent her to residential care and therapy - no change). Blamed it on her depression (which from what I can tell, the medications she's on aren't helping). Says it's hard not talking to me. Wants to talk to me in person and knows that I still love her. Said I became the mom that she never had and is so sorry for how she treated me in the past. She wants to work this out "in person".
My gut reaction is that this is due to the uncertainty of the current state of affairs (COVID19 and that we wouldn't let her come to our house and would allow her to instead go to a homeless shelter). She is trying to pass some final test/tests for her CNA (don't know for certain how accurate this is because she has been telling us this since last September) to graduate from Job Corps. The reality of the fact that she doesn't have us as a back up may finally be sinking in. I feel this is text is a manipulation, because I've fallen for it before while she still lived with us. She cannot live with us, period. We will not be supporting her financially, period. We will not be putting her on our health insurance again, period (we have an HSA). Honestly, I don't want to see her again - ever. Does that make me as big a jerk as it makes me feel typing it just now? She shrieked the b-word at me for an entire weekend before, has physically attacked me, her sisters and her (then) 8 year old brother. I know she hasn't changed because Borderline (BPD) takes a lot of HARD personal work (with specially trained professionals) that she (I still don't believe) is willing to put in. Like I said, she has yet to really have consequences for her past actions. Us not letting her come here was probably the biggest one so far.
. This is the kid that when doing homework, would ask for help, one of us would point to the paragraph with the answer and tell her the answer was in that paragraph, and she would launch into a rage because we wouldn't just give her the answer. She really doesn't need to be working with elderly, very young or frail people at all.
