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<blockquote data-quote="pigless in VA" data-source="post: 707827" data-attributes="member: 11832"><p>No doubt. </p><p></p><p>But that doesn't mean that you aren't grieving the loss of the son you wanted to have. The son that you wish he would be. </p><p></p><p>Do you see a therapist for yourself? Do you think an anti-depressant might help you? </p><p></p><p>I also think that when we cannot help our loved ones for whatever the reason, that it does us good to reach out and help a different person. My dad is suffering from Alzheimer's. The short version of the story is that I cannot help him or my step-mother cope with their rapidly deteriorating situation. I chat with them about once a week about nothing important. I save my mental energy for the kids that I work with at school. I am much more likely to be able to make a lasting difference in their lives. I've changed my focus to a different place.</p><p></p><p>I am experiencing the same with my son. He has made it abundantly clear that I am not to "interfere" in his life. I still speak to him, when he is reasonable. I no longer expect to make a difference in his life, though. I am facing the reality that I did what I could and it didn't work. That leaves a little room for "oh, I have a new idea," but not much room. Mostly I let Ferb worry about Ferb. I refuse to be emotionally blackmailed.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="pigless in VA, post: 707827, member: 11832"] No doubt. But that doesn't mean that you aren't grieving the loss of the son you wanted to have. The son that you wish he would be. Do you see a therapist for yourself? Do you think an anti-depressant might help you? I also think that when we cannot help our loved ones for whatever the reason, that it does us good to reach out and help a different person. My dad is suffering from Alzheimer's. The short version of the story is that I cannot help him or my step-mother cope with their rapidly deteriorating situation. I chat with them about once a week about nothing important. I save my mental energy for the kids that I work with at school. I am much more likely to be able to make a lasting difference in their lives. I've changed my focus to a different place. I am experiencing the same with my son. He has made it abundantly clear that I am not to "interfere" in his life. I still speak to him, when he is reasonable. I no longer expect to make a difference in his life, though. I am facing the reality that I did what I could and it didn't work. That leaves a little room for "oh, I have a new idea," but not much room. Mostly I let Ferb worry about Ferb. I refuse to be emotionally blackmailed. [/QUOTE]
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