So there are others out there just like me.....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by RachaelandBill, Nov 30, 2009.

  1. RachaelandBill

    RachaelandBill New Member

    Ok.... I am REALLY new to this whole forum thing so you all will have to bear with me. I have 3 children ages 5, 6, and 7. My 6 yr old I guess would be my difficult child. From the age of 3 he has been violent and extremely defiant. We have been to every dr. known to man in this area. The only definate diagnosis he has been given was severe ADHD combination type. Things have esculated in the last 3 1/2 yrs that I am HONESTLY afraid for my children's safety as well as amine. He has threatened to stab me and went to the kitchen to get a knife to do it. He has grabbed lighters and threatened to set me on fire. He has chased his sister through the house with pencils in an effort to stab her. He even hurts himself. He rams his head into walls or anything he can find for that matter. He has had 2 hospital stays in the last year but both times he was a totally different child while he was there and then wthin hours of his discharge he is punching, kicking , spitting, biting or any other harm he can do to me. It is only me and his siblings that he attacks. Anyone who keeps him for me or even his teacher are in awe that this is going on at home because they say that he is a total "angel" there. But within an hour of him coming home he is a terror. He is on Focalin XR for the ADHD but as we have discussed with the dr. that is not going to solve the anger problems. ANY kind of help that ANYONE can give me... advice, suggestions, possible diagnosis PLEASE let me know
  2. agee

    agee Guest

    I don't have any help for you except a BIG Virtual HUG because I know how it is to have a child who acts one way in public and completely different at home. It makes you feel so, so isolated and you start to doubt yourself as a parent and as a sane individual.
    I'm sure more experienced people will chime in on this. I am in the midst of trying to figure out my little guy, myself - but I just wanted to say that I know what you're talking about. I have been there.
  3. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    Welcome. Is there any family history of ADHD, mental illness, etc.?

    Make sure the Focalin isn't actually making him agitated. This is a possibility and it could be missed.

    Our daughter had good results with certain medications to control aggression. Two of the included Abilify and Risperdal.

    Please be sure to protect yourself and your other children. Additionally, as best as you are able, take time alone with your husband.

    You might want to consider family therapy...let an expert look at the dynamics of the family interactions.
  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the board!
  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    HI and welcome.

    Are you comfortable with an ADHD diagnosis? To me it seems like a lot more than ADHD is going on. Who diagnosed him? Has he had a neuropsychologist evaluation? Are there any psychiatric disorders on either side of his genetic family tree? Any substance abuse? Any neurological disorders?

    How was his early development? Does he know how to socialize? Did he talk on time? Make good eye contact with strangers? Do you feel the medications are making a positive difference or do they just speed him up? I'm wondering if stimulants are the right medication for your child since he gets violent. in my opinion it's not a different issue or anger problems. in my opinion it's probably part of some disorder that has not been diagnosed yet. Possible diagnosis? We are not doctors. We are moms. As a layperson, if this were my child, I'd be wondering about early onset bipolar or some form of high functioning autism. Neuropsychs in my opinion are the best diagnosticians.

    You may want to do a signature like I did below. This gives us an instant overview of your family so we don't have to keep

    Glad you found us.
  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Adding in my welcome. I know what it is like to live the violence. So sorry you are dealing with this. Many hugs.
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    You've come to the right place.
    Have you tried any other medications?
    Does he sleep at night?
    I have all the same questions that MWM asked.