So they can't pick up the phone

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by mrscatinthehat, Nov 5, 2007.

  1. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    We had an appointment today with the in home worker (that which I am still struggling with that we have in the first place). I ran errands and got easy child to the dr this morning and told her she would need to be sick in her room for a while as we were expecting this person.

    husband didn't really get into any messy projects with the bathroom as he didn't want to be smack in the middle of something when this guy came. He also told his boss he couldn't come in for some extra work time because of this appointment. The time for this person to be here comes and goes. No him, no call. So I opened up my computer for grins and sure enough there is an email from him less than an hour before the appointment saying he would not be here and that he needed to reschedule later this week because he had an emergency with another client.

    Ok now he has a valid reason for not coming. The thing is why wouldn't he call. There is no guarantee that I would have been at my computer. He has all the numbers. This made no sense to me. Sat here waiting for him when so many other things could have been going on. I put so much aside for these appointments and do so willingly but good grief can't you use the magic of the phone when you can't follow through? If we pulled some :censored2: like that whooo weee would we hear about it from now till the end of time.

    Staffings, sessions, visits, now an in home worker (we have had them before also) plus IEPs and any other thing that comes up we do them all. So why is it yet again someone can't be curtious. I mean common sense (I know I am stretching things) should be to call not email.

    Sorry just venting.

  2. SprinkleMeLola

    SprinkleMeLola New Member

    You're completely right. I know that email is easier these days, but what if you hadn't had time to check the computer at all? It would have saved you all some trouble.
  3. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I think that sometimes people use e-mail to cancel or disappoint someone else in order to avoid the reaction they would have to deal with on the phone. People can be such chickens! I would tell this man that you need a phone call instead of an e-mail because you are not online enough to guarantee that you can get it.

    I gotta admit, it would bother me a bit that he didn't have the nerve to deal with the possibility that you might not be happy that he canceled. Someone in that position should have the practical sense to understand the frustration it could cause, and a tough enough hide to live with it.
  4. Alisonlg

    Alisonlg New Member

    I agree with witzend. I was going to say, he definately sounds like he might be a phone-a-phobic!
  5. Star*

    Star* call 911

    I went through this with a few in home workers - and ya know WHAT?

    I called their bosses and said "It's xx xx o'clock, can you tell me why I didn't get a phone call canceling our appointment?"

    This does 2 things -
    1.) It lets the person know that THIS particular worker may be a potential problem. ie: getting calls from other parents about canceled appts.
    2.) It lets the worker know you aren't going to be available for his lame emails.

    When you do meet this person I HIGHLY suggest that you set up the RULES with him just like you do your kids. And if he/she can't comply DON'T give in - it wouldn't work out in the long run.

    I appreciate the fact that someone would want to come and take time with my son but here are a few facts:

    1.) most do NOT have to pass anything other than a LOCAL back ground check. Not State or federal
    2.) MOST are doing it for the money and they are getting paid by a grant mostly and are paid for their time, travel, and paperwork. They aren't doing it because they love the job.
    3.) Some of them that I have met are worse than my difficult child and amazingly in your face about what THEY can do for your kid in a matter of days (BOLOGNA).
    4.) Not everyone is a match - I said the last person they sent out #4 - was some jive talking 70's Huggy Bear wanna be with his shirt unbuttoned down to his navel, striped pants and shoes to match. Fine - I thought he was going for shock and awe with the kid until he started talking. OH MY GOSH - I (being blunt) told him that the only "script" he was gonna "flip" was his paperwork to work with my son. They tried one more person after than and well - difficult child thought he was great we liked him too (didn't matter) but then he had problems being the baby daddy and his girlz new boyfriend and took difficult child to the bad end of town to sort out his business - when he got back with difficult child we weren't home and he lied about what time he dropped him off.

    I called his boss, told them and he was fired for "other" reasons.

    So just be picky - and make sure it matches.

    I can still see that man walking up to our front door in those striped pants, I swear to you he looked like Little Richard - and his greeting to me "Hey Moms whas happening? I'm here to flip the script with yo' little man."

    DF said he would give $50.00 to have a picture of my face right then.

    Hang tough -

  6. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Our governor is the reason we have this home worker. (And don't get me started on that one as we are not supposed to be political on here.) He enacted this new thing where all kids in Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s have to have this additional worker for when (if) they come home.

    We have met this guy a couple of times and I am still making my assessment. husband doesn't like him and that says tons. I haven't figured out how I feel which is kind of odd. I can normally be judgemental off the bat and with this one I can't lay my finger on what I feel. He is the first male in home worker we have had and maybe that is where I am confused. He acts way different than the women ( I would he hope he would be different). I just don't know yet.

    This however was a major red flag. We have so many battles and this is just obviously going to be one more.


  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    The time for this person to be here comes and goes. No him, no call. So I opened up my computer for grins and sure enough there is an email from him less than an hour before the appointment saying he would not be here and that he needed to reschedule later this week because he had an emergency with another client.

    Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggghhh! :hammer:

    So sorry.
  8. Star*

    Star* call 911


    The fact that you have to have SOMEONE doesn't mean you have to have HIM. Lay the rules out for him

    1.) A phone call from now on as if he has worked with difficult child's he knows too many disappointments or canceled apointments and difficult child is going to loose interest fast. Once it's gone - the worker can forget it. difficult child's are not very forgiving.

    2.) You need to know his schedule so you can be there - what days/times/ is he going to pick up your son, work with him when does he intend to leave, take difficult child?

    3.) ANY communication problems from here on out will be dealt with through his boss. Let him know you called and intend on calling if there are further cancellations

    4.) Let him know this is a TRIAL basis - you hope it works out, but so far it's not looking very good. If he can mend the fence - good.

    You really have to let these kids know that you don't just "DIE" everytime they come to see your son because believe me - a lot of them (not all) think "Oh I shall be loved and revered because I am giving the parents a break." I don't know who put that crud in their heads but 3 out of the 4 workers that showed up at our house automatically said "Well I'll be taking him out of your hair for a while." With the first man we asked for someone younger, street, hip, and active. Likes to ride bikes, roller blade etc. They sent out a 450 lb. man and his foster son (who never said a word) and the man kept putting the foster kid down, that all he ever liked to do was watch video games and I said "Well how often do you get out and offer to go ride a bike with him?" This was after 30 straight minutes of "ME ME , and have I told you about ME?" argh. The foster kid actually cracked a smile but kept his head down. And then I asked him how long he'd been taking care of kids - all his life was his response. Then he said that my son (age 12/13) was "pretty" and THAT was it. difficult child didn't want a thing to do with him after that AND he called him "honey" "Come here honey - boy you're pretty". I said at that point "Well this interview is over." or something close to that.

    The man could NOT believe that he did NOT get the job. When he called me and asked why - I said "DO you really want to know?" and he said "Yes, I do." SO I let him have my entire opinion of how he treated his son, how he treated himself, how he behaved towards a child that had been molested, and the fact that I never heard his son utter 2 words even when the questions I asked were directed at him only - Others have found him good and had success . Not us.

    So keep looking or like I said call his boss. Tell them this isn't a good match, you really don't have to explain yourself, but if hubby's senses are tingling - something is a miss there. Dads know these things.

    My .73 cents
  9. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    How frustrating! I know I would never have even thought to check the computer.
  10. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts


    Because the governor says this is supposed to happen doesn't mean it's good. (You know that, personally.) If the team member is a dud, it will do more harm than good. Geez.

    Talk about shoving good support funding down your throat instead of asking you what you need. Did you even get a chance to interview this person?
  11. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    NO interview. We don't get to make decisions. Gracious we are just the "parents". What do we know. We have to take what DHS gives us. I can keep track and if something Major happens someone might do something about it but no phone call is like oh whatever to them. They are busy people with many clients. (That is always the excuse I get when I go through dhs to say something about a worker-which isn't often as I know nothing will get done)

  12. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    I forgot. The other thing is if difficult child 2 works his progrem it will take him almost 18 monthes ( and he is still resisting) so why are we doing this now.