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General Parenting
So tired of arguing over difficult child with H
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<blockquote data-quote="cage11" data-source="post: 59919" data-attributes="member: 3898"><p>I have to tell you it took me years to get to this point. Her psychiatrist has been telling me to let her go - better we put her out than she goes on her own (the whole control thing). But, it is very painful. This must be what grief feels like. </p><p></p><p>Her first comment when I told her to go was, "you are kidding, right?!" When I told her I wasn't she got angry and told me to "leave the room before I punch you in the face!". I told her I would call the police. She calmed down (thanks to her brother and a friend of his and hers that was here - also bipolar), showered and left. She asked me, "what about work tomorrow?". I told her to pack her uniform and take it with her. She packed and left without a word. Funny, later she calls me and tells me she is with a friend (in a car with loud noise). Then she texted me and told me if her other friend calls the house don't answer. My reply was, "whatever". All this leads me to believe she doesn't take me seriously.</p><p></p><p>And, guess what? I'm such a wimp and so upset I would probably fall for her pleads to come home and manipulation. I'm trying really hard to be tough. I'm trying to make the goals to return home realistic - follow house rules, make an appointment. to talk to her advisor for college (she blew it off the other day), write the thank you cards for the graduation money she quickly cashed a month ago from her aunt and grandmother, make and keep and appointment. with her psychiatrist and take her medication. </p><p></p><p>I'm not sure if she will spiral out of control or come around. My son told me she asked him before she left, "Do you think mom is trying to teach me a lesson?" To which he replied, "Dah, are you going to listen this time?!" Much will depend on if she takes her medication or not. I have to set it out for her nightly. She refused to take it with her, then came back in the house and asked me where her pill case was. I hope that's a good sign. But she also takes medication for herpes (yes, a result of sex with the wrong people). So she may only take that. sigh.</p><p></p><p>In my heart I think she will be back. Despite all this we are very close. All day I've been wondering what an acceptable curfew would be for her. What do you think? She is 18 and graduated and has a part time job bussing tables. As soon as summer hit she decided she was allowed to stay out all night. She only comes home maybe 3 nights a week and sometimes at 4 or 5 am. I don't want to make the limits so unrealistic that she will fail and be kicked out again (if she does come back which I think she will).</p><p></p><p>Any thoughts?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="cage11, post: 59919, member: 3898"] I have to tell you it took me years to get to this point. Her psychiatrist has been telling me to let her go - better we put her out than she goes on her own (the whole control thing). But, it is very painful. This must be what grief feels like. Her first comment when I told her to go was, "you are kidding, right?!" When I told her I wasn't she got angry and told me to "leave the room before I punch you in the face!". I told her I would call the police. She calmed down (thanks to her brother and a friend of his and hers that was here - also bipolar), showered and left. She asked me, "what about work tomorrow?". I told her to pack her uniform and take it with her. She packed and left without a word. Funny, later she calls me and tells me she is with a friend (in a car with loud noise). Then she texted me and told me if her other friend calls the house don't answer. My reply was, "whatever". All this leads me to believe she doesn't take me seriously. And, guess what? I'm such a wimp and so upset I would probably fall for her pleads to come home and manipulation. I'm trying really hard to be tough. I'm trying to make the goals to return home realistic - follow house rules, make an appointment. to talk to her advisor for college (she blew it off the other day), write the thank you cards for the graduation money she quickly cashed a month ago from her aunt and grandmother, make and keep and appointment. with her psychiatrist and take her medication. I'm not sure if she will spiral out of control or come around. My son told me she asked him before she left, "Do you think mom is trying to teach me a lesson?" To which he replied, "Dah, are you going to listen this time?!" Much will depend on if she takes her medication or not. I have to set it out for her nightly. She refused to take it with her, then came back in the house and asked me where her pill case was. I hope that's a good sign. But she also takes medication for herpes (yes, a result of sex with the wrong people). So she may only take that. sigh. In my heart I think she will be back. Despite all this we are very close. All day I've been wondering what an acceptable curfew would be for her. What do you think? She is 18 and graduated and has a part time job bussing tables. As soon as summer hit she decided she was allowed to stay out all night. She only comes home maybe 3 nights a week and sometimes at 4 or 5 am. I don't want to make the limits so unrealistic that she will fail and be kicked out again (if she does come back which I think she will). Any thoughts? [/QUOTE]
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So tired of arguing over difficult child with H
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