Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
So tired,so sad, and sick of it all
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 639433" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Mom1, I would certainly not allow her to abuse you. Talk to you about her angst, sure, but not in an abusive way. I have a son who can be very verbally abusive and we have had to walk on eggshells with him. He is two states away now and our relationship works best when he is away. He can't live with us anymore because he cornered me and slammed the wall right by my head and talks about violence when he is stressed. Just like your daughter, he is horrible when stressed out and he used to take it out on me. This is what I did and I wish I had done it sooner. I put a list on "Communication Rules" in place and actually stuck by them so that we could communicate (or not...his choice) in a civil manner. Now he is 37 so I've been putting up with this much longer than you, but I wish I had done this a long time ago.</p><p></p><p>1. If you raise your voice to me, louder than I talk to you, I hang up gently.</p><p>2. If he swears at me, I hang up. He can swear, but not at me or call me names.</p><p>3. If he is not as respectful to me as I am to him, I gently hang up.</p><p>4. No blaming me for his problems. Sorry, he is old enough and smart enough to make his own decisions. </p><p></p><p>We did not teach our children to act the way that they do. Sometimes to hear them talk about it, we told them to act like they do so that their lives are difficult!</p><p></p><p>If he's really nasty, I don't pick up the phone for a few days.</p><p></p><p>This has worked for me. I don't know if it would work for you or if you are ready to do it, it has worked well here and you do have a right to expect respectful treatment. This also applies to anytime you see her. You have a right to be respected for the good person you are. Nobody, not even your daughter, has a right to talk smack about you, unless you don't mind if she does it.</p><p></p><p>I found it is best if we love ourselves as well as our loved ones. We matter too. We are no good for anybody or ourselves if we are depressed, nervous, lacking in harmony or living under bad circumstances.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 639433, member: 1550"] Mom1, I would certainly not allow her to abuse you. Talk to you about her angst, sure, but not in an abusive way. I have a son who can be very verbally abusive and we have had to walk on eggshells with him. He is two states away now and our relationship works best when he is away. He can't live with us anymore because he cornered me and slammed the wall right by my head and talks about violence when he is stressed. Just like your daughter, he is horrible when stressed out and he used to take it out on me. This is what I did and I wish I had done it sooner. I put a list on "Communication Rules" in place and actually stuck by them so that we could communicate (or not...his choice) in a civil manner. Now he is 37 so I've been putting up with this much longer than you, but I wish I had done this a long time ago. 1. If you raise your voice to me, louder than I talk to you, I hang up gently. 2. If he swears at me, I hang up. He can swear, but not at me or call me names. 3. If he is not as respectful to me as I am to him, I gently hang up. 4. No blaming me for his problems. Sorry, he is old enough and smart enough to make his own decisions. We did not teach our children to act the way that they do. Sometimes to hear them talk about it, we told them to act like they do so that their lives are difficult! If he's really nasty, I don't pick up the phone for a few days. This has worked for me. I don't know if it would work for you or if you are ready to do it, it has worked well here and you do have a right to expect respectful treatment. This also applies to anytime you see her. You have a right to be respected for the good person you are. Nobody, not even your daughter, has a right to talk smack about you, unless you don't mind if she does it. I found it is best if we love ourselves as well as our loved ones. We matter too. We are no good for anybody or ourselves if we are depressed, nervous, lacking in harmony or living under bad circumstances. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
So tired,so sad, and sick of it all
Top