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So tired...
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<blockquote data-quote="seek" data-source="post: 715044" data-attributes="member: 22002"><p>I totally get how exhausted you and your husband must be and agree with the others . . . have you sought therapy for yourself? It sounds more like you need specific coaching on how to live with a difficult person without losing your mind.</p><p></p><p>The idea of creating a contract is a good one - make it reasonable - what you want and need to feel respected in your home and have your home a peaceful place to live. If she is truly bi-polar (and I honestly think this is a catch-all for "bad behavior"), then one of the things on the list is that she should have to attend regular therapy. It sounds like she could also benefit from a life coach.</p><p></p><p>Create a sanctuary for yourself, if you can - spaces where she is not allowed in the house.</p><p></p><p>If you choose to work with a therapist or social worker (I would choose the latter), create a timeline for her to become self-sufficient. That should be the end goal you are all working towards. Lots of young adults live with parents during setbacks, but they have a plan to leave. I didn't hear that in your post - maybe I missed it.</p><p></p><p>If she doesn't want to abide by your rules, that will be an incentive for her to leave sooner rather than later . . . she must be costing you plenty to live there now, so maybe focus on the job first, and then as soon as she secures the job, maybe pay a couple of month's rent? (Not sure if that is a good idea . . .)</p><p></p><p>Did you say something about school? I don't think that's a good idea. I think a job is what's needed. Lots of people don't check backgrounds - you would be surprised. It's all about relationships.</p><p></p><p>Good luck.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="seek, post: 715044, member: 22002"] I totally get how exhausted you and your husband must be and agree with the others . . . have you sought therapy for yourself? It sounds more like you need specific coaching on how to live with a difficult person without losing your mind. The idea of creating a contract is a good one - make it reasonable - what you want and need to feel respected in your home and have your home a peaceful place to live. If she is truly bi-polar (and I honestly think this is a catch-all for "bad behavior"), then one of the things on the list is that she should have to attend regular therapy. It sounds like she could also benefit from a life coach. Create a sanctuary for yourself, if you can - spaces where she is not allowed in the house. If you choose to work with a therapist or social worker (I would choose the latter), create a timeline for her to become self-sufficient. That should be the end goal you are all working towards. Lots of young adults live with parents during setbacks, but they have a plan to leave. I didn't hear that in your post - maybe I missed it. If she doesn't want to abide by your rules, that will be an incentive for her to leave sooner rather than later . . . she must be costing you plenty to live there now, so maybe focus on the job first, and then as soon as she secures the job, maybe pay a couple of month's rent? (Not sure if that is a good idea . . .) Did you say something about school? I don't think that's a good idea. I think a job is what's needed. Lots of people don't check backgrounds - you would be surprised. It's all about relationships. Good luck. [/QUOTE]
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