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Parent Emeritus
So true.....
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 656948" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>[ATTACH=full]505[/ATTACH] </p><p></p><p>COM, I hear you!</p><p></p><p>Refraining and letting go of expectations, the way WE think it SHOULD be is treacherous!</p><p></p><p>I've joined a podcast of Pema Chodron (Buddhist nun) talking about how we get "hooked." Today she likened it to an "itch." The analogy was a child who gets poison ivy and when the rash is scratched, it feels so good, but it spreads and spreads as the child itches. Like us when we want so badly to act, to respond, to say something, do something.......we want to scratch that itch so badly.......and yet if we do, then it spreads......the need to do something is immense........if we refrain, over time, the itch subsides. But that part of waiting it out, allowing the itch to just be,<u> is so darn hard!!</u></p><p></p><p>She says it is a human thing and something we humans do all the time and to NOT get into judging ourselves for it.....the course is about acknowledging getting 'hooked', changing it, finding a different way of responding..... and practicing this in our lives.</p><p></p><p>I've had to work really hard letting go of some choices my granddaughter has made this past year, her first year away from home, away at college. The desire to step in and do it MY way has been enormous.......she's made some significant "mistakes" and yet she is handling it all. She made it clear that she wants to be in charge.....I said I would honor that. Some of the things I was fearful of happening, have actually come to pass. And, you know what? No one died...... She altered her plans and moved in a different direction and is doing okay. So, her "mistakes" were life lessons she needed to learn. </p><p></p><p>You're right COM, this letting go stuff never ends. The only way I know of dealing with that is to learn how to do it better. So, here I am. listening to Pema talk about getting hooked, about how to let go and live in this incredible uncertainty and chaos and messiness and unpredictability......LIFE.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 656948, member: 13542"] [ATTACH=full]505[/ATTACH] COM, I hear you! Refraining and letting go of expectations, the way WE think it SHOULD be is treacherous! I've joined a podcast of Pema Chodron (Buddhist nun) talking about how we get "hooked." Today she likened it to an "itch." The analogy was a child who gets poison ivy and when the rash is scratched, it feels so good, but it spreads and spreads as the child itches. Like us when we want so badly to act, to respond, to say something, do something.......we want to scratch that itch so badly.......and yet if we do, then it spreads......the need to do something is immense........if we refrain, over time, the itch subsides. But that part of waiting it out, allowing the itch to just be,[U] is so darn hard!![/U] She says it is a human thing and something we humans do all the time and to NOT get into judging ourselves for it.....the course is about acknowledging getting 'hooked', changing it, finding a different way of responding..... and practicing this in our lives. I've had to work really hard letting go of some choices my granddaughter has made this past year, her first year away from home, away at college. The desire to step in and do it MY way has been enormous.......she's made some significant "mistakes" and yet she is handling it all. She made it clear that she wants to be in charge.....I said I would honor that. Some of the things I was fearful of happening, have actually come to pass. And, you know what? No one died...... She altered her plans and moved in a different direction and is doing okay. So, her "mistakes" were life lessons she needed to learn. You're right COM, this letting go stuff never ends. The only way I know of dealing with that is to learn how to do it better. So, here I am. listening to Pema talk about getting hooked, about how to let go and live in this incredible uncertainty and chaos and messiness and unpredictability......LIFE. [/QUOTE]
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