So upset right now

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Lothlorien, Nov 17, 2011.

  1. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    My bff from high school has a nephew who was born with some really horrible complications. His mother almost died and had a hysterectomy immediately after. She was in coma for several days. He was in the hosptal for a long time with issues. He came home fairly healthy after a time, but had to have several surgeries. At one point, as a complication from surgery, he was blind. His sight came back suddenly (or maybe it was gradual, but he was too young to verbalize it). From all appearances, he was the cutest healthiest little boy.

    Anyway, he's now three. He died this morning. I don't have the details yet. I don't have the heart to call my friend. She has no children and this little boy meant the world to her. I'm so heartbroken.
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Oh Lothlorien, I am just heartbroken for you. i have lost students who have come so far and it is just the saddest thing. I hope your bff and her sister can hold on to eachother during this terrible time. Can you just text or email her that you are there for her whenever she needs anything? I bet she wouldn't mind that. It is a tricky thing not to want to interfere but to also want them to know you are there for them.

    I am sorry for your hurting heart. {{gentle hug}} Buddy
  3. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    The baby's father's birthday was yesterday.
  4. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    (((Loth))) I'm also heartbroken reading this. I'm so sorry. I know it's difficult, but I think you should call. We're always afraid to call or be intrusive, when in fact, in times like these, it's good to hear that we are in someone's thoughts and prayers. Just tell her you're thinking of her, ask if there is anything you can do for her. Hugs~
  5. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Oh what a sad post. I'm so incredibly sorry for that family, I just can't imagine this and how to cope.

    It may be many are unsure how to reach out to your friend so I too think keeping it simple and letting her know you are there for her and how you care is the way to go.

    I will be keeping them all in my thoughts.
  6. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    You would be amazed at how many people run from this loss because they just can not fathom the amount of pain the parents are in and they can not keep it together themselves to feel supportive.

    Just do it. Your pain will help her. Speak the boy's name out loud whenever you can. It will be the most heavenly word on earth to her. I had a friend that called me every day - I swear she still does not know that she may have saved my life. If I had not spoken to her every day - and this was not a friend I spoke to often before I lost my son - I do not know that I would be here now. She did not say anything magical. She just talked to me. About lots of things, not just the grief I was feeling.

    Go there. Hug her. Speak to her as though she is not the most unique and alone person in the world. She will feel like it. Nobody can understand her pain and it makes you feel very alone. Make her a dinner or two. It will help, I promise.
  7. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    So awful for everyone...

    I hope you can find a way to support yoru friend.
  8. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Sending support for all concerned. Hugs. DDD
  9. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry for the loss of this little boy. As others said, I think it's a good idea to call your BFF - she must be in so much pain now and you calling cannot cause her any more pain but gives her a chance to share her grief with you.

    ((hugs)) and prayers.
  10. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Oh, Loth... Lots of gentle hugs.

    I do agree, when there is a loss of a loved one, it helps to know that people are THERE for you, even if it's minor stuff like a text or phone call. I will pray for the little boy, his family, and YOU, too.
  11. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Finally got the courage to call her. There was no warning. He had a upper respiratory infection last week and was on an antibiotic, but he was fine. He woke up in the middle of the night and went into his parents' room. His dad thought he had to go to the bathroom, so he picked him up and he peed all over dad and went limp. The paramedics and er worked on him for over an hour.

    One of his surgeries included a pacemaker. He had this rare blood disorder and I guess his heart just gave out. A autopsy will be done, because he's so young. The whole family is just numb.

    His birthday was next month and he would have been 4. BFF has all of his birthday gifts and Christmas gifts already. Not now, but I will offer to take them back for her so she doesn't have to deal with that pain.
  12. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    How absolutely tragic! Sending many hugs and prayers for the family.
  13. buddy

    buddy New Member

    She might want to pick one small gift to put in with him if his parents will allow. or to donate in his name.

    you are a very good friend.
  14. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh this is just so unbelievably tragic. One thing though, in reading what you wrote, I am so glad that the little boy got up to go to his parents and he was with them when he died. I would want it that way rather than finding him in the morning. As awful as it would be either way, at least they were with him. Prayers going up to this family from me and mine.
  15. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    So so true...........
    Many hugs - hang in there.
  16. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am so sorry. the family is in my thoughts and prayers. remember to be there for them a few months from now too. Most people will be busy wth their own lives by then, and I am told it is even harder then because no one wants to listen to the parents/siblings talk about the child.
  17. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Prayers to his family and you and everyone touched by this tragedy. So sad...
  18. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Ohhhhhhhhh, that's so sad! OMG.
    Offering to take back the gifts (when they are ready to talk about it) is a great idea. As is saving one to donate.
    Many hugs, Loth, for you and your friend and her family.