Maybe I'm not depressed. I have SO very much anger. It rules my life. I am angry and more angry and just don't see the reason to get up each day. Each day seems worse than the day before. Ever since difficult child was born it's been a struggle. One thing after another. How do you make it through the day. difficult child was in a car accident Friday night. His fault. Totaled his car. People got hurt. He is alright, and the injuries were not severe. Neck pain, but went in ambulance. I am scared. husband doesn't seem to be affected. But then again it is me that has to deal with all the fall out. I just can't do it anymore. I am very happy that difficult child is not hurt. But I don't show it. Instead I am angry that it is just one more thing on top of all others. A friend of mine asked if I was taking medication, if there wasn't something to help me. But there isn't medication that will make my job closer than 65 miles one way in heavy traffic. Or make the lights work in the bathroom or basement. Medication isn't going to stop the mortgage from going up or keep my husbands company from closing. It isn't going to give my son back his car or have the other people not be hurt. Medication isn't going to help any of that. I am so, so sad. So scared. So angry that I follow the rules, and do what I am suppose to do and things just keep happening. And I see others who lie and cheat and have everything I wish I could have. How do you make it through the today? or tomorrow? I don't see anything getting better. Only worse and I am so afraid. I say things I wish I didn't. I am just a failure at everything I have ever done. If I was a better parent, maybe difficult child wouldn't be so messed up. I tried. I tried all I can and failed at everything. I just don't know where to turn.