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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 679334" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Good morning, so ready to live, we are glad you are here. I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this seemingly impossible situation. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Of course you are! I think this is the hardest thing to deal with in life---the disability of an adult child. It is so complex---our feelings, our thoughts, our involvement, the round and round and round, it never seems to end. And our culture keeps it all so quiet (adult mental illness and addiction) and it's counter-cultural to say "What about ME?" </p><p></p><p>Here you can say all of those things, and we so understand because we have been...right...there. We get it.</p><p></p><p>I agree with SWOT---can you try again to get some funding for him? It seems pro forma that SSI is always denied at every possible opportunity. </p><p></p><p>And another question: Is there a possibility of some sort of placement for him if he has some funds? A group home? </p><p></p><p>And of course he does need rehab, like SWOT says. </p><p></p><p>I also realize it's all a moot point (except the funding) unless he is willing to help himself. </p><p></p><p>At some point, though, is the communication clear enough between you and him that you can say...you can't live here anymore. We have done all we can for you.</p><p></p><p>I realize that is a very hard thing to think about and say, but is he "able" enough to hear and understand that?</p><p></p><p>Please know that we are here for you. Regardless. I have found tremendous support and a catalyst for my own growing up and changing in Al-Anon. The first time I went (for 18 months) I didn't. I "kind of" worked the program. When my now-ex-husband and I divorced, I stopped going. Then...a few years later...when my son started his disastrous decline, I knew right where to go. I was ready that time. I have worked the program since and it has been a tremendous tool for me. </p><p></p><p>So, even if Al-Anon didn't work one time or two times or three times...you might consider trying it again. It has to do with when we are ready to embrace and hear what Al-Anon teaches, which I have come to believe is the best possible way of life forward. </p><p></p><p>Please continue sharing and know that we will offer ideas, support and encouragement. The ideas may not be helpful, and we understand that. The main thing we are is "a soft place to land" and in this awful world we have all navigated here, that is enough.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 679334, member: 17542"] Good morning, so ready to live, we are glad you are here. I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this seemingly impossible situation. Of course you are! I think this is the hardest thing to deal with in life---the disability of an adult child. It is so complex---our feelings, our thoughts, our involvement, the round and round and round, it never seems to end. And our culture keeps it all so quiet (adult mental illness and addiction) and it's counter-cultural to say "What about ME?" Here you can say all of those things, and we so understand because we have been...right...there. We get it. I agree with SWOT---can you try again to get some funding for him? It seems pro forma that SSI is always denied at every possible opportunity. And another question: Is there a possibility of some sort of placement for him if he has some funds? A group home? And of course he does need rehab, like SWOT says. I also realize it's all a moot point (except the funding) unless he is willing to help himself. At some point, though, is the communication clear enough between you and him that you can say...you can't live here anymore. We have done all we can for you. I realize that is a very hard thing to think about and say, but is he "able" enough to hear and understand that? Please know that we are here for you. Regardless. I have found tremendous support and a catalyst for my own growing up and changing in Al-Anon. The first time I went (for 18 months) I didn't. I "kind of" worked the program. When my now-ex-husband and I divorced, I stopped going. Then...a few years later...when my son started his disastrous decline, I knew right where to go. I was ready that time. I have worked the program since and it has been a tremendous tool for me. So, even if Al-Anon didn't work one time or two times or three times...you might consider trying it again. It has to do with when we are ready to embrace and hear what Al-Anon teaches, which I have come to believe is the best possible way of life forward. Please continue sharing and know that we will offer ideas, support and encouragement. The ideas may not be helpful, and we understand that. The main thing we are is "a soft place to land" and in this awful world we have all navigated here, that is enough. [/QUOTE]
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