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So Whats Up With You - Valentines Day
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 649369" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Farmingmom: I'm sorry for your loss. You are right that, when really bad things happen, it can mean a lot, how was that last communication before it. If the last words were angry or mean, it caan feel very bad for the long time even though we all know, that some every day tiff doesn't change how we feel about each others.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I don't know how hard any given language is to learn (it depends mostly how similar or different it is from your native language, I think), but I have to say that from the languages I have studied, English has been easiest for me. I have heard a saying that English is easy to learn to the certain point but very difficult to fully master. But to be honest, when you are learning foreign language, you don't need to learn it perfectly. There is little point even try to learn to speak like local (and you can't if you haven't lived in the country there they speak the language from before you turn about ten.) Much less is needed to be able to communicate and use the language for work and pleasure. For example I'm fully capable reading not only English news papers etc. but also scientific texts in English. When I need to write something more formal, I can write it and use a translator to proofread. That is already workable English skills even though far from perfect.</p><p></p><p>When your own language (or in my case, languages) are rare, learning foreign languages is just as important than learning for example maths. In fact in our schools foreign languages take from one third to half of the class time. Learning new languages also comes easier, when you already know few. But still, every language has it's difficulties. I personally have had issues with five different s's and vast grammar of Russia, wrapping my brains around the Spanish preterite (and I'm still lost with that one, but my Spanish is in very tourist level), being first too lazy to learn the genders of German words and then being totally screwed when accusative and dative came along and so on (please do not ask me pronounce French either.) And I do know I would be totally over my head with Chinese and different tones changing the meanings of the words.</p><p> </p><p></p><p></p><p>For us it is not even the big things, or maybe sometimes, but small every day gestures and deeds that convey that love. For example this week my husband has turned outside lights on, when it was became dark and he knew I would be soon coming home. He did the groceries this week and the store we 7use had run out of the sourmilk product I like, he went to two others so he could find it for me. When he knew I would need to drive a longer distance for work, he took my smaller and not so fun to drive car for work and left his bigger and safer for me to take a trip. When I mentioned at Tuesday, that I hadn't had so much fun skiing because the waxing of my skiis was off, he had waxed them for me when I came home Wednesday and turned the sauna on, even though he was leaving for the night but I was skiing and he knew I would enjoy going to sauna when I would come home. He has also put his hand on my back or shoulder, given me a small push to point something fun for me , looked at me in the loving way etc. And of course not to forget those 'affectionate gestures of private nature.' I mean, really small things, but to me each and everyone says he loves me. And for us that is enough most of the time.</p><p></p><p>Other example of this comes from my difficult child. He was once interviewed and one of the topics asked was something to which the 'right answer' was to tell how grateful he is that I and his dad have supported his career and been there to cheer him on. He gave that 'right answer' (which is total sports jargon and in itself meaningless, even those who may have a total dead beat parent often choose to toe the line and express gratitude for them, because not doing so would just draw unnecessary attention; the reporter probably doesn't know, care or check if you even have parents, so easiest way is to give an answer they expect), but they he elaborated it tells about those small, everyday deeds that we take as a sign of love. He mentioned how when he was young and they had trips to away games and tournaments and bus often left very early or right after school and parents car pooled to get them to the team bus, so often he backed his stuff and left home when no one else was home or awake, but that in the fridge there was always packed sandwiches with the note for good luck waiting for him. (Yes, hearing him say that in the radio did make me feel rather warm and fuzzy <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" />)</p><p></p><p>We tend to feel, that showing the love is enough. You actually have to say it only very occasionally.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 649369, member: 14557"] Farmingmom: I'm sorry for your loss. You are right that, when really bad things happen, it can mean a lot, how was that last communication before it. If the last words were angry or mean, it caan feel very bad for the long time even though we all know, that some every day tiff doesn't change how we feel about each others. I don't know how hard any given language is to learn (it depends mostly how similar or different it is from your native language, I think), but I have to say that from the languages I have studied, English has been easiest for me. I have heard a saying that English is easy to learn to the certain point but very difficult to fully master. But to be honest, when you are learning foreign language, you don't need to learn it perfectly. There is little point even try to learn to speak like local (and you can't if you haven't lived in the country there they speak the language from before you turn about ten.) Much less is needed to be able to communicate and use the language for work and pleasure. For example I'm fully capable reading not only English news papers etc. but also scientific texts in English. When I need to write something more formal, I can write it and use a translator to proofread. That is already workable English skills even though far from perfect. When your own language (or in my case, languages) are rare, learning foreign languages is just as important than learning for example maths. In fact in our schools foreign languages take from one third to half of the class time. Learning new languages also comes easier, when you already know few. But still, every language has it's difficulties. I personally have had issues with five different s's and vast grammar of Russia, wrapping my brains around the Spanish preterite (and I'm still lost with that one, but my Spanish is in very tourist level), being first too lazy to learn the genders of German words and then being totally screwed when accusative and dative came along and so on (please do not ask me pronounce French either.) And I do know I would be totally over my head with Chinese and different tones changing the meanings of the words. For us it is not even the big things, or maybe sometimes, but small every day gestures and deeds that convey that love. For example this week my husband has turned outside lights on, when it was became dark and he knew I would be soon coming home. He did the groceries this week and the store we 7use had run out of the sourmilk product I like, he went to two others so he could find it for me. When he knew I would need to drive a longer distance for work, he took my smaller and not so fun to drive car for work and left his bigger and safer for me to take a trip. When I mentioned at Tuesday, that I hadn't had so much fun skiing because the waxing of my skiis was off, he had waxed them for me when I came home Wednesday and turned the sauna on, even though he was leaving for the night but I was skiing and he knew I would enjoy going to sauna when I would come home. He has also put his hand on my back or shoulder, given me a small push to point something fun for me , looked at me in the loving way etc. And of course not to forget those 'affectionate gestures of private nature.' I mean, really small things, but to me each and everyone says he loves me. And for us that is enough most of the time. Other example of this comes from my difficult child. He was once interviewed and one of the topics asked was something to which the 'right answer' was to tell how grateful he is that I and his dad have supported his career and been there to cheer him on. He gave that 'right answer' (which is total sports jargon and in itself meaningless, even those who may have a total dead beat parent often choose to toe the line and express gratitude for them, because not doing so would just draw unnecessary attention; the reporter probably doesn't know, care or check if you even have parents, so easiest way is to give an answer they expect), but they he elaborated it tells about those small, everyday deeds that we take as a sign of love. He mentioned how when he was young and they had trips to away games and tournaments and bus often left very early or right after school and parents car pooled to get them to the team bus, so often he backed his stuff and left home when no one else was home or awake, but that in the fridge there was always packed sandwiches with the note for good luck waiting for him. (Yes, hearing him say that in the radio did make me feel rather warm and fuzzy ;)) We tend to feel, that showing the love is enough. You actually have to say it only very occasionally. [/QUOTE]
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