So, Why didn't I see this one coming?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Andy, Aug 8, 2008.

  1. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    easy child has been told time and time again to enroll in a college (online since she doesn't want to be on campus). She has to do this to stay on our insurance. I told her that she also has to be a full time student. We keep nagging her and get lame excuses, "I am waiting for J to tell me which course her friend took online".

    O.K., now that she is on vacation out of state, I get a phone call within an hour of her landing, "Oh, Mom, I found an online course last night, you HAVE TO CALL ______ and get me enrolled." "easy child, this is YOUR responsibility! I'll see if I have time!" UGHHHH

    So, I quickly look up the university and find no online course for early elementary education at this facility so I call her back to tell her I need more info because I can not find it. Left a message than paged her. She finally called me back. It is taken care of, she had sister in law give her 411 accessibililty so she can call the university. She set it up!

    So, last night I do more looking. There is NO online course through this university that easy child qualifies for. The only one you need college classess already done. So I e-mail easy child - Do NOT pay registration - there is no online classes - the university will take your non-refundable registration fee just to tell you that "Yes, you can do this course but first you need to attend campus classes" When she called me, I tried to explain that she MUST VERIFY with the university what she was looking for. Of course, she will not listen to me!

    She was to work on this since March. Why does she think I should swoop in and save her from her procrastination? I refuse to "save" her. Maybe if she would clean up her language I would feel more gracious? She is not getting anything from me until she can go one month without a crappy mouth when talking to me. I am going to get out a calendar and for every icky word, that is one more day of nothing from me.

    She is so going to find herself kicked out of this house! If her life is none of my business than she can leave. I don't need to deal with her failures because of stupid decisions! If she will not listen to me, then I don't need to clean up the pieces! She needs to learn that life is not MY FAULT but HERS!

    How can someone out of the house on vacation cause such a problem?
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I so know how you feel.

    Now...a question. Can she do community college classes or would she only consider a "real" university? Most community colleges have more online classes and even though you seem to imply she is going for early childhood education...well some of the online classes would be for almost all programs. She could probably pretty much fill up a full load online taking generic classes for at least the first semester before she would eventually have to take some classes in the school setting. Things like math, english, computer science, psychology, etc.
  3. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I don't think it matters where she does the online - she just refuses to stay on campus the 1st year which is pretty much the requirement of any big college/university. She can not handle the curfew idea!

    She is using her godchild as an excuse to stay put - you would think that baby was actually hers!

    She is also using the excuse "I know too many people going there this fall" to not go where she planned before she learned about curfews.

    I really think she needs to leave this smaller town with her "friends" and go to a college and meet people who have a goal in life that are similar to hers. I have asked all her friends to encourage her to go to college but of course, if she leaves, they will not have her to solve their problems for them. NOT good friends in my eyes!

    I will mention taking basics on-line. Thank you! That would be a compromise and keep her in student status for awhile.

    One of her teachers in the small private school she graduated from stated she is one of those kids who will probably not settle down until she is in her early 20's. She is so smart and so good with people of all ages. She can do anything she sets her mind to. I think she is afraid to commit to one thing? I know I wish I hadn't been so stuck on accounting - I love my job but wonder what would have been if I also explored my other interests.

    I am getting to the point that I think she needs to live on her own to see what she has been taking for granted. We have set everything up for her and she has turned her back on everything - nothing is good enough for her. Most kids would give anything to have what she can have yet she refuses to get working on her life. A very true DIVA!
  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm wondering about this myself. We only have one more year to go.
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    So sorry.
    Sounds like she has an awful lot of excuses. I wouldn't have even made that phonecall for her.
    Just sign me,
    Mean Mom
  6. LucyB

    LucyB New Member

    I have one going away to college this year. I'm not sure what you mean by "curfew". To me that means they need to be in their dorms by a certain time. If that is what you mean, I would say that is unusual for colleges. None of the schools my daughter looked at had a curfew. My daughter didn't look at any religious schools where a curfew may be more likely.

    They do have rules that you must live in a dorm freshman year and may have rules regarding quiet hours and overnight guests. If she just wants to avoid living in a dorm, I would think community college would be the way to go for the first year since most don't even have housing. It also may be the only thing she can get in this late in the game since most schools don't take applications so soon before the fall semester starts.

    I would also check to see how many classes she needs to take to be considered full-time for your insurance. One class may not be enough. She may need three or four.
  7. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Terry - Thank you :) I just looked on line to try to find what she had looked at - couldn't find it so it is back in her hands - she has made more contacts since and can not get the answer SHE wants. She is finally "seeing" that mom is right - (but don't let mom know that!) - When she called me to tell me what I had been telling her, I ended up hanging up on her because apparantly I am retarded. Funny, I didn't think the 1st person to understand something was normally labled retarded.

    LucyB - Thank you! :) She was looking at Northwestern in St Paul - I believe there is a curfew there. I have always hated the thought of dorms so she has grown up with my negative view on them. Now that I have decided that it may be what she needs, she will not go with it. We do have a community college in our town but she wants to be available for her babysitting jobs - One started in March and the one for her god child started in July or August. She did very well with independent studies during 12th grade. I just wonder how she will find time for on line if she babysits daylight or from the moment she gets up which may be 1:00 in th afternoon to night fall and runs all night? I suppose from 7:00 pm unitl 11:00 pm when she starts running?

    We have told her she needs to take a full load to be considered a student on our insurance. Insurance is very important to her - she does have a medical issue that she will not be able to afford if she is not on our insurance. I am using that to keep her motivated.

    I have also told her that she needs to move out since her life is none of our business. Where are you going? "None of your business" Have you done this yet? "None of your business" Her attitude is sure making detaching very easy.

    I will have her look at more colleges - everyone we talk to tell us that it is very normal for dorms to have curfews. Guess she needs to just check with each college.

    I think it goes back to her not wanting take on grown up responsibilities which I believe she can handle. She is one of the youngest in her class and just may need 6 - 12 more months to catch up in maturity with friends who are that much older?

    I always put the pressure back on her. It is her responsibility - since I am so stupid why is she asking for me to do things? Its so if I mess up it is on me and not her!