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Parent Emeritus
So why do we (or in this case I) miss abusive people? I don't get it.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 627172" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Lucy, I'm so sorry your mother tried to do something so evil as to break you from a sibling who loved you and I Thankj God, or whomever or whatever you value, that your brother stood up for you. It would have made all the difference in the world if my sister or brother had stood up for me...the money didn't mean much to me. It was that she was so constantly horrible to me...and, yes, that my brother and sister never called her in on it although both claimed to have a relationship with me at the time.</p><p></p><p>As for my grandma, that's another twisted story. My grandma was my favorite family member and I didn't realize what a troublemaker she was until she pulled this stunt.</p><p></p><p>She used me against my mother and took my side all the time and made everything worse. My grandmother had definite, vocal favorites and first came her son and then me. She abused my mother over it, yet she DID leave half her money to my mother. She was not as mean as my mother, but she was a control freak.</p><p></p><p>She was telling me that she did not feel the same way about Scott and Julie because they were not her DNA collection (as if our DNA was anything to brag about...haha). She didn't want to give them any money because they were not, as she put it, "my blood." She wanted me to go along with it because she deemed it her wish and her kids (Mother and Unc), both of them, NEVER defied her wishes. I guess she figured I wouldn't either.</p><p></p><p>Although my grandmother had passed on when her mean-spirited will went into affect, my mother acted as if she were still there, watching over her, and maybe she does. In my belief system, you learn once you cross, but that's neither here nor there. My mother never forgave me for not wanting to hurt my other two children who I loved like I gave birth to them. I wouldn't do it so I was forever banished in her mind. Even 36 thinks it was wacky and stuck up for me in this. It wasn't like she left ANY of them $50K. It was $5K and she left it just to let 36 know he was special because of DNA and, at the same time, to let the other two know they were not important to her. I don't believe she knew the mayhem it would cause, but I had warned her many times that I would not participate in that. I knew how it felt to feel like the lesser person in a family. She did it anyway. It was for control, but not the kind you said. In the end, it caused family mayhem, but if she had not done this, something else would have caused the mayhem...another incident. It was going to happen. Mother wanted it to happen. She would have found a different excuse.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 627172, member: 1550"] Lucy, I'm so sorry your mother tried to do something so evil as to break you from a sibling who loved you and I Thankj God, or whomever or whatever you value, that your brother stood up for you. It would have made all the difference in the world if my sister or brother had stood up for me...the money didn't mean much to me. It was that she was so constantly horrible to me...and, yes, that my brother and sister never called her in on it although both claimed to have a relationship with me at the time. As for my grandma, that's another twisted story. My grandma was my favorite family member and I didn't realize what a troublemaker she was until she pulled this stunt. She used me against my mother and took my side all the time and made everything worse. My grandmother had definite, vocal favorites and first came her son and then me. She abused my mother over it, yet she DID leave half her money to my mother. She was not as mean as my mother, but she was a control freak. She was telling me that she did not feel the same way about Scott and Julie because they were not her DNA collection (as if our DNA was anything to brag about...haha). She didn't want to give them any money because they were not, as she put it, "my blood." She wanted me to go along with it because she deemed it her wish and her kids (Mother and Unc), both of them, NEVER defied her wishes. I guess she figured I wouldn't either. Although my grandmother had passed on when her mean-spirited will went into affect, my mother acted as if she were still there, watching over her, and maybe she does. In my belief system, you learn once you cross, but that's neither here nor there. My mother never forgave me for not wanting to hurt my other two children who I loved like I gave birth to them. I wouldn't do it so I was forever banished in her mind. Even 36 thinks it was wacky and stuck up for me in this. It wasn't like she left ANY of them $50K. It was $5K and she left it just to let 36 know he was special because of DNA and, at the same time, to let the other two know they were not important to her. I don't believe she knew the mayhem it would cause, but I had warned her many times that I would not participate in that. I knew how it felt to feel like the lesser person in a family. She did it anyway. It was for control, but not the kind you said. In the end, it caused family mayhem, but if she had not done this, something else would have caused the mayhem...another incident. It was going to happen. Mother wanted it to happen. She would have found a different excuse. [/QUOTE]
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So why do we (or in this case I) miss abusive people? I don't get it.
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