Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by timer lady, Nov 7, 2007.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    I do believe I got someone's attention. You know those someone's who might be on the treatment team of my tweedles. The ones who promised umpteen years ago when wm was placed in this therapeutic group home that kt & wm would have regular visits. That we would work toward home passes & holidays together. You know, those someone's?

    I sent out an email the other day announcing that I would be picking up wm the Wednesday before Thanksgiving & dropping him off the Saturday after Thanksgiving. As the team seemed to be falling down on the job, my family was going to pitch in & give wm something to look forward to.

    That kt would be able to see her brother in a family setting while still feeling safe.

    I also reminded all involved that this was strictly a voluntary placment & that I could pick wm up at anytime & bring him home. If I can't get out to see wm for whatever reason, I needed help bringing him to come see me. If they didn't feel it was healthy here at home, help me find a better time & place.

    I wasn't happy with the "updates" on wm; that I wasn't happy with the visitation schedules or if visits weren't going to happen I wanted a less lame excuse than wm doesn't want to or that kt wants to play with her PCA. I know there are deeper feelings behind these excuses - I want to hear the tweedles express them & then start working through this stuff. Otherwise it will haunt them the rest of their lives - it may anyway.

    Additionally, I let these someone's know that because of my inability to get around all these beautiful historical buildings, I couldn't get kt to therapy. I was also dam#ed tired of not hearing back from the tdocs on the team.

    Let's just say the day after I sent this little missive, I rec'd something like 8 phone calls from various & sundry "someone's" who had fallen down on their jobs, just a tad.

    As you know, if a plan isn't working, I'm all for changing it. The plan has changed.

    kt's therapist is transferring her case to the same therapist working with wm. That way, I will be able to get her to therapy; plus this therapist will be working a bit more closely with in home tdocs on sibling relationships & building a stronger family bond. There will be monthly visits between the tweedles with me totally out of the picture. Each individual in home therapist will transport their respective tweedle to treatment. There will be 5 adults to 2 tweedles in those therapy sessions. I believe that will cover it.

    wm will be told how hard I worked to get him to come with us for Thanksgiving this year. That it's okay to be sad that he cannot come along this year (he's really not ready nor is kt - I'd hate to set them up to fail). kt will be told that wm isn't coming & again how hard this is on all of us.

    In the meantime, for the Christmas holiday, 2 of the tdocs have volunteered to come to our home & help open gifts. husband & I are just to be the parents - the tdocs will step in & teach the tweedles how to be siblings. How to have a pleasant holiday. How to eat a holiday dinner together with-o chaos & competition. Of course, that means I have to feed tdocs - worse things have happened.

    So far, neither husband or I could find anything to complain about with this new plan. In fact, we're quite excited to have kt & wm together Christmas to open gifts (in our home) with guidance from tdocs (God bless 'em).

    There's a bit of fine tuning - I believe we may be back on track. I know my health has gotten in the way at times. However, I trusted everyone to keep moving toward the individual & family goals. Wrong move - don't die or the treatment plan will die along with you.

    I'm feeling much better about the upcoming holiday season - less lonely for my son.

    If you read this far - thank you. This is a lot to absorb; a lot to coordinate. And I don't have to do any of it. I'm to enjoy my children & get well. How's that for a plan?
  2. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Good for you! Good for kt and wm! :bravo:

    I'm glad you have such a good, strong plan in place. It's too bad that they let it slide these last few months, but I'm glad it's being rectified.
  3. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member

    Wow - thank goodness for committed tdocs. Spending Christmas working....very nice.

    It is a good, new plan.

    Good job, Linda!
  4. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    I can't believe there are two tdocs in the world willing to give up their own Christmas's to be at yours. Wow!

    If you're expecting them to behave like regular siblings then I'd plan for some chaos and competition and teenage attitude in there.
  5. wakeupcall

    wakeupcall Well-Known Member

    Linda, how exciting for Christmas will be spent with INLAWS here! I'm so happy that you'll be together as a family!
  6. jannie

    jannie trying to survive....


    What a plan--You did a great job getting everyone's engines' revved up again !! :warrior: I'm so happy to hear that the tweedles will be together for Christmas !!

    Sending hugs
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member

    Sounds like a good plan to me. Im sorry they fell down on the job but glad it got back on track.

    I also would expect some chaos on Christmas morning. Seems normal even for easy child kids.
  8. ck1

    ck1 New Member

    Great job taking charge!!! Calling them on not doing their jobs and then telling them what you want...excellent follow-through! Your story makes me want to cheer, or at least start calling more shots. Woo hoo!!
  9. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    That's really great. I'd be making something really special to spoil the tdocs as well, and give them an enjoyable Christmas lunch.

    There are some easy but spectacular recipes - PM me if you want one.

  10. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you've lost Thanksgiving as a family (I think it's great the way everyone offered to pitch in!), but I am so happy about Christmas! Make sure your have fresh batteries in the camera! :elf:
  11. Stella Johnson

    Stella Johnson Active Member

    I don't know how you keep up with it all. :smile:
    Sounds like it is time for you to take charge since they seem to be falling behind on their work.

  12. Penta

    Penta New Member

    You are a parent who stays the course, always searching for what is best for your family! Congratulations on your new plans!
  13. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Wow, I am so happy for you. I also admit a bit jealous that I can't motivate our teams like that. I am kind of interested on how you got that to happen.

    Glad you will get to have your Christmas together.

  14. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    :bravo: Linda, I'm so happy for you...for so many things...that you spoke up and let them know the plan wasn't working and nicely demanding a new plan, getting everything in place for the upcoming holidays and with t/psychiatrist's cooperation! Excellent.

    I think you already know that no matter the child, Christmas morning is usually chaotic, but you'll have staff to help you and it will go nicely. Keeping a positive thought for all good things! :angel:
  15. Alisonlg

    Alisonlg New Member

    Wow! I just want to jump up and down and scream for joy for you! I am so happy to hear about the new plan and how positive everything sounds! The Christmas plan sounds so wonderful...definitely something to look forward to! Good for you...all of you!
  16. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    I'm sorry Thanksgiving is too soon to try the tweedles together. Glad you put a flame under their fannies to get the team back on track though! :bravo: Sounds like an awesome plan to me.

    In so many ways xmas is a much more fun holiday anyway. lol And wm still has something special to look forward to. It's wonderful the 2 tdocs are willing to give the gift of their own holiday to the tweedles. :smile: Make sure you have plenty of film.

    I'd also expect some chaos and such. Even easy child sibs can manage that on a holiday. lol

  17. mum2JK&TH

    mum2JK&TH New Member

    I'm excited for Christmas in the tweedle house. Your post brought tears to my eyes.

    I hope this plan is followed through, way to go mum!!
  18. 'Chelle

    'Chelle Active Member

    Glad you were able to "motivate" them to make some changes. The plan sounds like a good one. Hope everything works out well.
  19. Star*

    Star* call 911

    So what are ya servin'? CROW?

  20. Anna1345

    Anna1345 New Member

    I am so glad you have gotten everyone to really work with you! I am so glad you will get to spend some of the holidays together! What a wonderful "real" beginning this can be for the tweedles. {{{HUGS}}}