I'm new here. I found this site because of my children, so it's slightly ironic that my first post is because of me I am a stay at home mom, have been for 5 years. I have a wonderful husband, a great church family, and a dog that seems to care about my every need. Blessed, right?! I have had issues with depression and social anxiety for all of my life. I really thought that with a stable life things would start to mellow out for me. Well, not yet I guess. My husband and I are in a Bible study that we've been in for 5 yrs. The same people, the same place, a great group. I enjoy it, don't feel judged by anyone. Should be a comfortable place for me. But last night, it became very obvious just how uncomfortable I still am. I never talk during our study. I just take it all in. After study, we all eat and talk. I find that if I can find a subject with one or two people that I'm knowledgeable about, I'm fine. A friend of mine and I were talking about speech therapy. Comfort. Until I was talking and realized everyone else in the room had stopped. I looked around and everyone was looking at me. I smiled (nervous reaction I suppose) and said "Awkward" because they know how I am. They laughed and I thought I could just go on and continue our converstaion. Until my whole body caught on fire, I started sweating and my voice shaking, and tears welled in my eyes. I had to leave the room and compose myself. It was that sort of uncontrollable crying where your body convulses. We left shortly after that Oh, and I should add, there were only eight other people there. Not a huge crowd. I don't understand this. It was like an allergic reaction. I didn't feel anything like terror or embarrassment (until afterward) but it still happened. It was like it was just being done to me. Is this a conditioned response? Has this happened to anyone else? I've been on paxil and celexa in the past but I don't know that it really did the job. Does anyone know of any medication that can really help this? Or do I need therapy?