Social Anxiety

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by ColleenB, Dec 31, 2015.

  1. ColleenB

    ColleenB Active Member

    We are now home after being away for their holidays and have plans to go to a party for NYE tonight.

    I have developed a social anxiety problem, and usually back out of most plans with friends, especially larger gatherings. Have any of you experienced this? I used to love getting together with friends, and often hosted myself. Now I get weepy and anxious when we are supposed to go out. A few weeks ago I left halfway through a musical play I was attending with friends, and had my husband come and get me.

    I hate this.

    I just started anti depressants and am hoping that they help. I have had depression in the past, but it's harder this time. I just want to avoid all social gatherings.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Not that bad, but I do feel anxious in crowds.

    Give the antideressants 6-8 weeks. Although some doctors say you will see a difference in two or three weeks, you won't get the full effects for eight weeks. I had university psychiatrists tell me this. Also, therapy helps. I know first hand...depression socks and usually goes hand-in-hand with anxiety. Give the medications time to work. Sadly, they are slow to get a good level in your blood stream, but they will.

    It will probably disappear. You don't have to stay long. If you feel uncomfortable, just go home. It SHOULD be get better, but you can seek out help if bothers you.

    Sounds like panic attacks? I survived those too. They are scary and horrid.

    I hope you have fun :). Do the best you can and know that you will get better.
  3. Tymica

    Tymica Member

    I have felt that way for sure. A large part of it was fearing the answers I would have to give if I was asked anything about my personal life, or have to hear about how everyone else's life was going swimmingly and act like I was happy for them. But by just being honest with my social circle "Difficult Child is having some struggles right now, but easy child is doing great" and focusing on those things my friends have been very supportive. I also think I felt guilty because I was spending time on my own happiness that I really thought I should have spending trying to find a way to fix my son. I had to work really hard on changing my mindset to a positive and detached one. Good luck!
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  4. ColleenB

    ColleenB Active Member


    I think for me it is trying to avoid questions about my oldest son. I hate talking about him with people because I feel like I am betraying his trust. I feel like it's his story to share, not mine.

    And if I was totally honest I would say I'm also ashamed.
  5. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    Yup. Especially since all of the stuff with my two and hubs illnesses. I think it is just so much emotional upheaval, sometimes it feels like it is coming out of my pores.....
    I don't feel this way all of the time, but when I do, I really don't want to be with other people. I have always been one to need alone time.
    Anyway, otherwise.......
    It is good to be with friends, and get out of the house. I am going to a friends tonight, I will probably cut it short, I have kind of gone back and forth on it......I am going......
    My wine is chilling and I have a potluck item, so I am committed!
    It's the end of this year, I am going to toast to a better one coming......

    I hope you go Colleen and enjoy yourself tonight.
    ((( hugs)))
  6. Quicksand

    Quicksand Active Member

    I'm going to a church potluck tonight with a friend. I've told her I'd go, so I gotta go! My stomach gets knotted up though, with the idea of people asking about my family. I'll just keep my mouth full of food so I can't answer any questions!
  7. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    I know the feeling. It is really nobody's business but yours and who you choose to share with is totally up to you. If people ask, short and simple. " He is still trying to figure out his niche."
    Boom, that's it. Done.
    As for being ashamed.....I know how this feels, too. We hoped better for our kids. Friends kids are doing feels awful. This is not on you.
    Our kids make choices.
    It does not mean we were bad parents,
    it does not even mean our kids are bad kids.
    Try to breathe, go out, have fun.
  8. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    Have you read Brene Brown's work, Colleen?

    She is a shame researcher. It is her contention that we fear the discomfort of the anxiety we fear may be coming and then it does, and we fear it more the next time and it makes a nasty, unmanageable circle until we hardly know what to do with ourselves. Brene Brown writes that what will help is to have the feelings. Know the are coming and just sit there without trying to not have the feelings. Each time we survive the anxiety attack in this way, it takes down a little piece of that anxiety spiral.

    I have done this.

    It works for me about so many things, not only anxiety.

    I will reference Brene Brown TED talk for you, Colleen.

    Wishing you every success. I am sorry this is happening to you. Like everything wasn't already bad enough, right?


    Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now is extremely helpful, too.

    So, here they both are.


    Eckhart is in this one, but there are other little bits of teachings on maintaining mindfulness you might like, so I referenced this one for you instead of straight Eckhart.

    All this and more is available on YouTube, including music specifically designed to soothe.
  9. Quicksand

    Quicksand Active Member

    I really like this YouTube video:
    Hopefully, the link works..
    Guided Meditation for Detachment From Over-Thinking (Anxiety / Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) / Depression)