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General Parenting
Some of the basics?
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<blockquote data-quote="AppleCori" data-source="post: 704657" data-attributes="member: 16024"><p>Here are some concrete suggestions--</p><p></p><p>Block the girlfriend's number, the girlfriend's mother's number, the posse's numbers, and always let your son's calls and calls from any unknown number to go to your voicemail. That way you can choose whether to return the calls, and you can choose when it is convienient for YOU to return the calls.</p><p></p><p>Also, hang up and do not entertain anyone who is trying to badger you, cajole you, manipulate you, disrespect you, or in any way being less than nice to you. </p><p></p><p>You deserve peace in your home, and no added stress at work.</p><p></p><p>In other words, you put yourself in control of your life.</p><p></p><p>You decide if people are treating you well, and if they don't, you don't engage with them.</p><p></p><p>You control your finances, and you will no longer allow anyone to bully, intimidate, or guilt you into parting with your cash, your time, your mental well being.</p><p></p><p>Write down some things that you can tell your son when talking to him. "I won't talk to you when you raise your voice. I am hanging up now." And then do it. </p><p></p><p>"I will think about that and get back to you."</p><p></p><p>Or, my favorite, "That's too bad. I know you can figure this out. You are a capable man."</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>If you start implementing these suggestions, expect your son and possibly his friends/girlfriend/girlfriend's mother to ramp up their attempts to keep you doing the things that you have always done. Eventually, they will stop when they realize what they are doing is no longer working, but in the meantime, expect the "emergencies" to get bigger, more frequent, and the consequences more dire.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AppleCori, post: 704657, member: 16024"] Here are some concrete suggestions-- Block the girlfriend's number, the girlfriend's mother's number, the posse's numbers, and always let your son's calls and calls from any unknown number to go to your voicemail. That way you can choose whether to return the calls, and you can choose when it is convienient for YOU to return the calls. Also, hang up and do not entertain anyone who is trying to badger you, cajole you, manipulate you, disrespect you, or in any way being less than nice to you. You deserve peace in your home, and no added stress at work. In other words, you put yourself in control of your life. You decide if people are treating you well, and if they don't, you don't engage with them. You control your finances, and you will no longer allow anyone to bully, intimidate, or guilt you into parting with your cash, your time, your mental well being. Write down some things that you can tell your son when talking to him. "I won't talk to you when you raise your voice. I am hanging up now." And then do it. "I will think about that and get back to you." Or, my favorite, "That's too bad. I know you can figure this out. You are a capable man." If you start implementing these suggestions, expect your son and possibly his friends/girlfriend/girlfriend's mother to ramp up their attempts to keep you doing the things that you have always done. Eventually, they will stop when they realize what they are doing is no longer working, but in the meantime, expect the "emergencies" to get bigger, more frequent, and the consequences more dire. [/QUOTE]
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