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Parent Emeritus
Some of you know me and my story...
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 727600" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>HI BG, so nice to "see" you here on CD. How I can relate to all of the firsts of missing hubs, holidays, birthdays and special days roll around to a year of intense grief, all of the questions and emotional efforts to process loss. </p><p>I am so very sorry for the loss of your son.</p><p>Please don't ever apologize for sharing your thoughts here, you are a part of this family and will always be.</p><p>You are not a weirdo who can't let go. It has been a short time since your sons passing. I think all of the years of hardship of choices and lifestyle a d c brings to our mother hearts would magnify the pain of what we fear the most. I have had to come to grips with the possibility that this may happen to my two, while they are out there finding and <em>also losing their way. </em></p><p>It has been a long time since we have really, truly connected. </p><p>This is a deep loss within itself.</p><p>I do so appreciate your being here, BG, your presence is always welcome.</p><p>I don't believe there is a timeline on grief. It is like the tide that ebbs and flows. A scent, a song, a memory can well up all of those feelings inside. I don't think it is about letting go, more so for me, deciding to reflect on the good times I shared with hubs. There were many difficult moments as well, and that was hard to let go of, the anger of unresolved issues. In illness, he had grown rather distant. This was the toughest thing, after 36 years, that we were further apart before his passing. Forgive me for relating this to how it may feel for you, or me, or anyone else reading along, to lose an adult child who is "out there somewhere." </p><p>I can only imagine that it makes processing all of those feelings that much more difficult. </p><p>It is a reality that I have had to face with my two, and the choices they are still making. I hold on to the hope that they will wake and come to understand their potential to do better for themselves, but there is always that thought that I may one day have to face the loss you are dealing with, BG. Maybe it is a way to prepare myself for this. </p><p>Is there even a way to prepare? Perhaps not.</p><p>Life is hard, and precious, and so very short.</p><p>I am thankful to have CD, a place for all of us to share and strengthen ourselves and hopefully others along this path.</p><p>Please keep in touch, dear sister warrior. </p><p>Your honesty, resilience and strength is a beacon of light.</p><p>My sincere condolences to you and your family, and long gentle hugs.</p><p>Malama pono,</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 727600, member: 19522"] HI BG, so nice to "see" you here on CD. How I can relate to all of the firsts of missing hubs, holidays, birthdays and special days roll around to a year of intense grief, all of the questions and emotional efforts to process loss. I am so very sorry for the loss of your son. Please don't ever apologize for sharing your thoughts here, you are a part of this family and will always be. You are not a weirdo who can't let go. It has been a short time since your sons passing. I think all of the years of hardship of choices and lifestyle a d c brings to our mother hearts would magnify the pain of what we fear the most. I have had to come to grips with the possibility that this may happen to my two, while they are out there finding and [I]also losing their way. [/I] It has been a long time since we have really, truly connected. This is a deep loss within itself. I do so appreciate your being here, BG, your presence is always welcome. I don't believe there is a timeline on grief. It is like the tide that ebbs and flows. A scent, a song, a memory can well up all of those feelings inside. I don't think it is about letting go, more so for me, deciding to reflect on the good times I shared with hubs. There were many difficult moments as well, and that was hard to let go of, the anger of unresolved issues. In illness, he had grown rather distant. This was the toughest thing, after 36 years, that we were further apart before his passing. Forgive me for relating this to how it may feel for you, or me, or anyone else reading along, to lose an adult child who is "out there somewhere." I can only imagine that it makes processing all of those feelings that much more difficult. It is a reality that I have had to face with my two, and the choices they are still making. I hold on to the hope that they will wake and come to understand their potential to do better for themselves, but there is always that thought that I may one day have to face the loss you are dealing with, BG. Maybe it is a way to prepare myself for this. Is there even a way to prepare? Perhaps not. Life is hard, and precious, and so very short. I am thankful to have CD, a place for all of us to share and strengthen ourselves and hopefully others along this path. Please keep in touch, dear sister warrior. Your honesty, resilience and strength is a beacon of light. My sincere condolences to you and your family, and long gentle hugs. Malama pono, Leafy [/QUOTE]
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