Some people are just mean

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by witzend, Oct 1, 2013.

  1. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I assume that when a spouse dies, their estate goes to their living spouse. There's no reason to disinherit children when your spouse survives you. Other than to ensure that your spouse signs the letter of disinheritance, that is, and that you can go to your grave feeling superior that you gave one last kick to the person you disinherit as they're rolled up in a ball on the floor. It's always made you feel good before, so why not go for the "Coup de grace?"

    Redacted Disinheritance letter.jpg

    FWIW, I have stipulated in my new will that L will receive nothing from me. What I have not done is send her a copy of that will in advance. If she - as I would have - never goes looking for her inheritance from me, she will never see it. It is a plain and simple wish, not a punch in the gut.
    Last edited: Oct 1, 2013
  2. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    I think that you are being kind. I would have called them vicious. So sad for you, Witz, it's an other kick in the gut.
  3. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Its their loss Witz---not yours.
  4. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Honestly, I'm looking at it, and I can see that he sent me a photocopy. Why is my mom's signature in such a weird spot? Why is it written in a photocopy of her handwriting beneath the word "MOM" written in his hand? I don't think she even signed it, and if she did it would be up to them to prove that she had. Why not just write out her own letter?
    Last edited: Oct 1, 2013
  5. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Sounds like they not only wanted to do it, they wanted to rub your nose in it too! That says a lot more about them than it does you! That's just mean, MEAN, MEAN!
  6. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    What :censored2: holes. Seriously! Like all you ever wanted out of life was a piece of the estate. I would send it back with a lovely note stating "I dont give a dammmm because I'm not in this world just to take from people." Oh yeah and make sure you file it legally. LOL

    Nothing my loved ones have is worth me losing family over. Nothing they have is worth much of anything to me. I don't want their stuff I want the memories I have and the love we shared to stay with me and that is it!

    Sorry rant is over I just can't stand bullies!
  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Terrible. HIdeous.

    At least, when my mom disinherited me, she didn't warn me in advance :) She kicked me from the grave, the clever lady!!!

    But you're right, it is meant to be meanspirited. I would probably just shoot back another letter sayinig, "Thanks, but I already knew this and we'll be fine anyway." I wouldn't sign it or ever contact them again.

    Sounds like you have the family from hello, just like me. It has NOT ruined my life. And not inheriting from my mother has not affected my life either. Your family is who cares for you. If it's your DNA relatives, fine. If it's not, fine. DNA is not the only or often even the best way to have a family. Once I figured out that fact, my DNA connections stopped being able to hurt me. There is nothing between us...seems like your mom is simply connected to your DNA, nothing more, just like mine was. But she does have a heart of stone.

    My heart goes out to you.
  8. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    That's shocking. I'm sorry.
  9. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Terrible. I'm sorry.
  10. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    husband and I looked at this thing again when he got home. It's all wrong. The attorney practices "Consumer Law". The letter says "This letter will be filed with our legal documents" - IOW his safe. The very fact that he sent it to me makes it invalid in OR. husband and I agree that the Atty is some guy he met in a bar.

    Then to top it all off some woman came by our home this evening having just moved into the neighborhood and told us that she is upset that none of us know each other and she's fixing everything, up to and including she's changing our garbage service provider beginning 11/1, and we can apply for a hardship exception if we don't like it. I let her have it with both barrels. I was rude and awful. Just because she only moved in here 4 weeks ago and didn't bother to introduce herself doesn't mean that everyone else in the neighborhood doesn't know each other, or that we haven't already hosted 3 HOA meetings at our house. I did apologized for my behavior and gave her the information I had already gathered. But she came to the wrong house today to try to be in charge.
  11. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Hugs Witz. This looks like a below-the-belt kick from beyond the grave. Someone who has that strong a need to lash out is very sad indeed, and I'm sorry you were flayed by it.
  12. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Not only is he telling me that he's done it, he's telling me that I should expect it to be seen by all when they die, so I get to go through it again. I can't tell you how sad it makes me that anyone hates me that much, let alone my own family.

    I expect he'll find a way to post his own Obituary, too, and include that he had a particularly terrible daughter named Witzend who lives in bumf - - -, North Carolina.
  13. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    I have no wise words, I too am horrified and I send many gentle hugs
  14. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Mean spirited and cold hearted. Those are the words that came to mind when I read this. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that.
  15. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I doubt any ethical paper would print that. I just would ignore the obit. I never did read my mothers obit. I don't even know that there was one. Best thing sometimes is not to know. Horrid man.
  16. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    This isn't mean. It is evil. It is also likely not valid. Plus, if you do not mention your children, ALL of them, in your will, they can file for a portion of the estate. Many states rule that if you die with-o a will, your estate is divided between your surviving spouse and your children, ALL of them. If you say that x gets nothing, some states will rule the will invalid. That is why many wills mention leaving $1 or $5 to this or that child, because then you didn't forget them, you gave them what you thought they deserved. Some states let you say that X child gets nothing and X child cannot contest it, but other states say you have to give them some small amount and often it is a certain amount or else they can contest and get the same % that the other children get.

    I believe that many states say that all children must split half of the estate and the spouse gets the other half, or that the spouse and children get the same %. Leaving a will that complies with the law is the only way to change that.

    These are NOT your family. NO WAY. They are the biological donors, period. Actually, in some states a letter like that, esp iwth a photocopied signature the way that one is, and with no witness, is not legal and could be grounds to claim abuse and for the child to sue the estate for the abuse and receive pain and suffering.

    It also could be used to prove undue influence over your mother if her mental state has deteriorated or she was forced or coerced. Heck, you might even be able to prove fraud if her sig is photocopied on the original of the letter or otherwise shows signs of not being hers and/or she is not competent to sign legally.

    You would be best off to just walk away and refuse any/all contact with them. They are not worth the air they breathe or the carbon and water that makes up their bodies.

    It is truly amazing that you are such a warm, loving and truly genuine person after being raised by such greedy, mean spirited, small minded ugly people. You are so much more than they ever could hope to be, and all their money and possessions are not worth one single bit of you. You are invested in what truly matters in this world and richer than they could ever have hoped to be.

    I think it is pitiful that they are investing themselves so heavily in hurting you and being ugly. Whatever you believe comes next after this world, you will have a far better life there than these people can even imagine is possible. If they believed in reincarnation they would come back as the most miserable beings on the planet, or as humans who are truly devoid of any advantages and who has to learn how to be generous, loving, caring beings before they can even hope to pray for a chance at being a happier form of life. Or they would end up as the ghost of Christmas Ugliest if you believe in that.

    As children we are stuck with the family that we are born in/adopted by. As adults we learn that family is the people who love you and truly want the best for you and care deeply for you. L and the donors are not your family. The true friends you have now, like us, are your REAL family. The donors cannot even comprehend the value of what they have thrown away, and they for darn sure are not worthy of you!
  17. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Dearest Fred -

    It is harder for a RICH man to get into heaven than for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle.

    A CAMEL Fred! Through the EYE of a SEWING needle FRED! GAWD!!!!!! Enjoy your ill-gotten gains Fred. I'll be praying about pushing camels for you babe!

    HUMP DAY!!!!!!!!!!!
    can I get a what what?
    Honestly Witz - I love you - poor or not. You're more of a LOVELY Christian that I'm sure will pray for this nimble minded nincompoop more than he'll ever realize. And THAT ALONE makes him so small? :Maybe he WILL pass thorough the eye of that needle.
    Your love will always ALWAYS be GREATER than THEIR hate.

    Hugs & Love