Some support would be nice, hon

Discussion in 'Healthful Living / Natural Treatments' started by hearts and roses, Jun 2, 2008.

  1. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    So, about a month ago, I decided to give up all meat products (I don't miss it at all since we typically do not eat much meat). Though, at the time, I forgot how much I love grilling season and pork loin roasts. But, I digress...

    At about the same time, I also joined a gym. My goals were not so much to lose weight as they were to get in shape and be nicer to my body. I could stand to lose about 15 lbs. If I lost 20 lbs I would be both shocked and ecstatic. But the 15 lbs would be very nice. Anyway, I happened to read a book my friend sent me,

    "The Skinny B!tch",

    in which they not only tell you how to eat healthier, but they enlighten you [none-so-gently] about the meat industry, the FDA, all the other governmental agencies who supposedly have our best interests in mind (yeah right). It wasn't so much new information, as I've been alive 45 years and have read numerous 'diet' books. But it was illuminating to have it thrown in my face the truth about the horrible conditions in which animals that we we eat are treated and slaughtered and packaged (or not in some case). 'Nuff said.

    So, I initially lost 5 lbs in the first 10 days. Water weight likely. I've been going to the gym somewhat steadily, my back is strong enough that now I think I can do the pilates and/or yoga classes without injury or strain. I'm excited. I haven't lost any more pounds. However, I have lost inches. My clothes are looser and I can see that I have a wee bit more definition in my upper arms as well as my hiney. I am sleeping better and I have less late day sugar cravings. I'm drinking more water and 'going' regularly now.

    Then my H opened his big stupid mouth.

    Yesterday, H asked me if I lost any more weight. I asked him why he asked. He said, <drum roll> "Because it really doesn't look like it. You lost 5 lbs at the beginning but now it looks like nothing has happened since."

    Nice. Real nice, honey.

    I pointed out my inches lost and the other positive changes from my dietary much better we're eating, better sleeping, feeling healthier, etc. It fell on deaf ears.

    His comment was hurtful to me. Sometimes I think he goes out of his way to tear my down.

    Anyway, I'm trying not to let it get to me. I am meeting my friend at the gym this afternoon.
  2. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    phooey on husband.

    even if you don't lose a pound, ever, doing things to be healthier is what should matter.

    Kudos to you for keepin' on keepin' on.

    As for the meat industry...well...not even sure what to say about it except its kinda embarrasing to say we have a farm with that kind of junk going on. We raise our beef cattle on grass and feed. But my real turnoff was when we received a bunch of fryer chickens to raise (someone gave them to us). In 3 months, they were no longer able to even walk, they are so genetically altered. To me, its gross what we're doing to genetics. And who knows what effect it has on us down the line...I'm sure there's some.

    Anyway, kudos to you!
  3. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Thanks Shari - I guess that would rule out my post about your daughter giving up meat! Haha. Sorry.

    I initially had switched to organically/holistically raised meat, the kind free of pesticides, etc. Then I read this book and almost puked. So, it became less about what was healthy for me, and more about feeling so sad for the animals - the ethical treatment of the animals is what was so appalling to me. Of course, I know that there are farmers out there who are decent and treat their cattle nicely and keep their areas clean, but of course, the book doesn't mention them so much. Anyway, I was really sad last night when H and I went out to dinner and couldn't get my favorite appy, mozzarella cheese wrapped in fried prociutto and basil leaves. YUM. I skipped it altogether at that point! Yeah, H is being a poopyhead.
  4. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Actually, she has a half-sister who is 8 years older with the same weight issues (mom treated her largely the same when she divorced this girl's dad, too.) Half sister has little to do with mom, but both mom and half sister do the whole yo-yo and fad diet things, and easy child gets double whammy-ed that this is a way to lose weight. Sis took her to dinner for her birthday, she learned sis is currently on a no-meat diet, so easy child did the no meat diet for 2 weeks. Instead, tho, she ate canned peaches, mac and cheese, mashed get the drift. She just doesn't know. And that doesn't help. She's already getting the "fix the problem" mindset instead of the "healthy life" mindset. I don't mind if she picks a different diet style, just hopefully for a good reason. Grrr...but enuf of me hijacking your post! lol

    Unfortunately for the critters, America's mindset is dollar driven. difficult child 1 found (yes, found) a pig that had fallen off a semi truck on the way to market wandering along the highway. He and my dad herded it to my dad's house and difficult child was going to keep it, breed it, and raise some pigs. The poor thing didn't know what grass was, didn't know how to drink or eat from a trough on the ground, OMG it was dumb as a box of rocks. It eventually learned, but it nearly died first. She was nice as could be, tho, very amiable personality. difficult child's plan went the way as most difficult child's plans, so he sold her to a co-worker of mine. She grew to be nearly 600 pounds and she had two litters of 19 piglets! About a third were deformed and couldn't survive, she couldn't feed all of the rest, it was just too many. More genetic tampering, I'm sure.

    Just curious, why did you not have your mozzerrella sticks?
  5. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    Sometimes men are subconsciously threatened when their spouses are enjoying success. Be good to him...but at the same time be careful not to let any of his comments get you down or resist if he tries to push food on you. You are doing a FANTASTIC job employing great self talk and self nurturing. Keep up the good work!
  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Keep up the great work!! I'm sorry husband was so rude! Always amazes me when people who are so insensitive.
  7. ScentofCedar

    ScentofCedar New Member

    I agree that husband may be feeling threatened by the changes he sees in you ~ maybe not so much by the physical changes as by the change that happens to us when we take the reins of our lives into our own hands.

    I will read that book, Jo.

    It sounds horrific.

  8. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    They were wrapped in procuitto (ham). No big loss - my salad was awesome. It had fried polenta squares and fresh mozzarella cubes and fresh roasted garlic - balsamic dressing, very yummy.
  9. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Yes, H is always trying to impose his stuff onto me, such as telling me that since he is giving up coffee, I must also. Uh, no, that is NOT happening. I refuse, no matter what diet I am on, to give up coffee, chocolate and red wine. Haha.

    When I began making minor changes in our diet, he was pleased. And when I decided to skip meat products, he said he will do the same, but for dinner only, which is fine with me since that's the only meal we really eat together. So, that part of it is working. I just think he's annoyed or something that not only am I reading everything I can and checking out new vegetarian cookbooks for ideas, but I'm enjoying it too!

    When he gives up coffee, he only lasts a couple of weeks and then he starts sneaking it during the day...when he tells me, it's like a confession, when really, I couldn't care less if he gives it up or not. lol, what a nut.

    Thanks for the encouragement. I'm going to my first pilates class in a long time this morning. I am so excited.
  10. Star*

    Star* call 911

    DF- Honey we're giving up coffee.
    ME - WE?
    DF- YES we, I want to give it up and if you drink it I know I will too so we both have to give it up.
    ME - WE?
    DF - YES WE.
    DF - walks off
    ME - Clicks TV off right in the middle of Big Valley -
    DF - WHAT THE ?
    ME - Honey we're giving up tv.
    DF - WE?
    ME- YES we, I want to give it up and if you watch it I konw I will too so we both have to give it up.
    DF - ME?
    ME -YES WE.
    ME - walks off

    A little while later I smell the coffee brewing - and I come out to the kitchen to see 1 cup sitting on the counter.

    ME - Thought WE were giving UP coffee?
    DF - WE were - but I talked it over with Mrs. Barkley at the Barkley Ranch and she said you can have all the coffee you can drink.

    I'm just glad it was Big Valley and not a John Wayne movie - I may never had had another cup of coffee pilgrim. Cause you know John Wayne is tough.
  11. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Funny, Star! That is kind of what it's been like around here lately. I gave up meat...H feels now he has to give it up (for dinner). He gave up coffee and drank something like 3 cups of green tea every morning with heaps of honey in it. I stuck with my joe - need the stuff. I don't really eat bread, but I make it for H. He is the maker of the coffee every morning and claims that since he had to make it for me, he wasn't able to really give it up. We make compromises.

    Tonight I made the most fabulous vegetarian stuffed peppers - H loves what I make. I think he just likes to complain.
  12. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    Congrats to you for sticking to your guns regardless of the unfeeling comments husband likes to make!

    I, for one, can tell you that it's comments like that which have contributed to my lack of success in the past. I hate the "can you eat that?" or "you're eating that!" comments the most.

    Last weekend I was switching through the channels and the move Fast Food Nation was playing. I had heard about it, but never seen it. I missed the beginning, but WOW, the scene where you get a tour of the processing plant from kill to market was eye-opening. I'm sure that movie had a lot of folks giving up beef, at the very least!

    You are doing a great job of getting healthier. We all know how difficult it is to make those changes. Keep it up!

  13. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Thanks Sharon,

    I think it's really important to have at least one cheerleader in your life who is a prime source of support - and it always turns out to be other women I know.

    Sabotaging comments will always be there, whether it's on tv, mass media, or in my home - it's up to me to deflect.

    Thanks for cheering me on.
  14. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    I'm sorry your H is acting like such a jerk, but I'm glad you're here. in my humble opinion, your H is insecure. Instead of being happy for you, he feels the need to knock you down to try to cover up his own insecurities. It must be very difficult for you to have to deal with this kind of garbage directed at you from someone who supposedly loves you so much. Let the garbage he spews go in one ear and out the other. We're here for you!!!

    Keep up the excellent work!!! You're doing a great job and deserve credit for all the hard work it takes to live a healthy lifestyle. I'm really happy you're enjoying the exercise!!! WFEN