Somebody is trying to drive me crazy but I'm not gonna let her!

[Californiablonde]

My coworker is driving me insane! As if I don't have enough stress at home with both difficult children, I gotta put up with this stuff at work. My supervisor (who also sits like 3 feet away from me) is really being childish and immature and I can't take it! She still has not gotten over the cat issue. She has been giving me the silent treatment for days. Yesterday she had something work related to tell me and she wrote it on a sticky note instead of telling me. How damn immature. Whenever she gets mad at me (usually for no good reason) I get the silent treatment for days or even a couple of weeks. I have a feeling this one is gonna drag out till summer. She had the nerve to post on Good Friday about how Jesus died for our sins and we should all be like Him and forgive and not judge people. Hypocrite! I thought she was over it after reading her latest status update but nope, she is still holding a grudge. She had the nerve to block me from seeing her posts on Facebook, but she still kept me as a friend so she could read all my posts. There was no way I could block her from seeing my status updates because I could no longer get to her page! What a cowardly thing to do. I went off on one of my status updates and said that people shouldn't be hypocrites and they need to practice what they preach. Also posted about how she got my kitty's name wrong. His name is Tigger, not Tiger and if she cared about him so damn much then how come she can't even get his name right? I never once mentioned her name but of course she knew the post was meant specifically for her. It's bad enough that I had to lose my cat in such a tragic way but she is making things worse and I'm sick of it! We used to be friends but now we sit in silence and the tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife, as the saying goes. I can't wait till Saturday where I can be safely in my boyfriend's arms and able to relax. This week couldn't go by fast enough for me. Sorry for ranting and raving. I just needed to vent!!!

 

[Star*]

Hey CB,

Long time no see. I am very sorry about Tiggers' passing. Loosing a cherished family memeber is very stressful indeed. My heart goes out to you for the pain you feel at this time.

With regards to your co-worker /supervisor. Is she being childish? I'd say so. I don't know the entire story (sorry) but it sounds like there was an issue regarding Tiggers passing and you corrected her spelling? I am not sure since I wasn't there, but perhaps she took that as an unfriendly judgemental typo on your part, and instead of just letting it go - she's decided to make an even bigger issue about it.

IF that is the issue? I would say to you - apologize to her. Did she spell your beloved son's name incorrectly? Yes. Is it an honest mistake? Perhaps. Could it have been a typo? Sure. Do you think she did it out of spite? I rather doubt it - more so - she probably couldnt spell. Tiger (with two g's) to some like Winnie the poo's friend I've seen it spelled so badly - and Tiger I've seen spelled with a Y - Tyger. I would say something like "Last week when I lost my furkid, I was very upset - and I probably could have handled that situation differently. If I hurt your feelings I am sorry." Then walk away. I wouldn't mention FB, or the silent treatment - those are things that she's done to hurt you - and well? They're working. But shame on her huh? Be the bigger person, and apologize. If she still is keeping her trap shut by Monday? Well Then (you don't know me very well) But I would walk into work and pass her and say something like "You know I had not realized JUST how very much I enjoyed coming to work without you talking to me all the time - the vacation from all the (and I'd make sock puppet gestures with my hands) has been LOVELY - HEAVEN!! THANK YOU! and I'd walk away and ignore the dog snot out of her. been there done that. and now completed an unemployment appeals tribunal today and I can't say I miss them much at all. (more sock puppet action)

 

[hearts and roses]

Tempting though it is, please do not address her on FB at all in any way whatsoever. That is adolescent behavior at best and you're old enough to know better. In fact, it might be a good idea to deactivate your FB page for a while - you can always go back to it later, but taking a break is good once in a while. Also, you can block her from seeing your FB page in YOUR settings, not through her page.

I agree with Star - if you make that first step to apologize you may both be able to put this period behind you once and for all. Hugs and good luck.

 

[Star*]

HNR is correct - I just got this book called FB for dummies and well - I'm SVcking at FB very badly.

 

[Californiablonde]

I REFUSE to apologize and no I'm not being childish. She slandered me all over Facebook. She cussed me out. Said the F word and everything. Told me I never loved my cat to begin with and I don't deserve another animal. She knows the reasons why I had to give up the cat. He peed everywhere....the carpets, the kids' clothes, blankets, sheets, damn near everything. My kids were sent to school smelling like cat pee and one of them was being questioned about the cleanliness of our home from a school staff member. The stench smelled so bad that as soon as you walked in the door that's all you smelled was cat pee. We moved apartments and the movers were so grossed out that they ditched us and refused to take the job. My son wanted to have his last birthday party at our house and I had to say no because there was absolutely no possible way I would have my friends and family in that house. I gave the cat away to a no kill animal shelter. They put him down a few days later because they said he was unfriendly and un adoptable. I called a few days after giving him up to check on him and found out the bad news. I was shocked. Truth is he had major anxiety issues and I believe that's why he peed everywhere. I honestly thought they were going to adopt him out. I'm sorry but I don't agree that me defending myself on her post was wrong in any way. We have a lot of mutual friends and coworkers. She basically accused me of being cold hearted and an animal hater. Our friends and coworkers needed to hear my side of the story. Once they found out the reason why I had to give him up, they were all on my side. I could not let her slander me without telling my side of the story, and not ONCE did I cuss and use bad language like she did. One of my coworkers suggested I turn her in at work but I don't want to do that because she would make my life a living hell if I did. She even told me I was pathetic for using my kids as an excuse to give him away. Plus as soon as she found out I was giving him up not once did she offer to take him. I do not regret anything I said on Facebook. I have a right to speak my mind.

 

[AnnieO]

I'd just block her. She's being childish, yes. And as long as you're venting to us and not her, you're fine.

Personally... Can you go to your boss and explain that things are difficult because of Tigger's passing and your difference of opinions - can you move desks? Maybe this isn't an option... But... ugh.

 

[Californiablonde]

Yeah now that I know I can block her through my privacy settings that's exactly what I'm gonna do. I don't want to go to the boss. He loves her and kisses her butt. I get all the work while she goes shoe shopping on the internet. She is hispanic but she has blonde hair and everybody compares her to Barbie. She is thin and has big breasts (so do I but it never gets ME anywhere) and she dresses in sleazy outfits-short skirts and low cut tops and stiletto heels. We can't move desks because we have to sit next to each other to work. She can keep giving me the silent treatment. I don't care anymore at this point. She used to make me depressed but I refuse to let her have that kind of power over me.

 

[AnnieO]

She's trying to upset you... And it's working. But if you pretend it's all good, she will stop.

Some people get things, others don't... It's not what you have, or what happens to you, it's how you handle it.

I once read that you can tell an awful lot about a person by the way they handle three things: tangled Christmas lights, lost luggage and screaming children...

 

[Californiablonde]

I am happy as can be at work. I won't let her determine my happiness any more than she already has.

 

[susiestar]

I am so sorry about your cat. You did the right thing iwth the problem - and I don't hear any mention of HER asking to take your cat and handle the problem!! Now that you have stated your side of things, it is time to ignore her on fb. At work? Continue the happy as can be routine.

If nothing else it will DRIVE. HER. NUTS.

Her greatest joy right now is seeing you miserable and upset - so don't show her a dang thing because to be that petty and jr high should not ever be rewarded. But be SURE to keep a log of what you accomplish throughout your days. WHY? because her next step will be to use her influence with the boss to get you demoted/moved/fired. And it could work if you can't say that you did this and this and this and have proof that it is yoru work.

Document anything she does that breaks the rules in case you have to defend yourself against her, also. Esp if it ends up making more work for you or upsetting a client.

 

[Star*]

oh okAY NOW I remember the story. Gotcha. Sorry - so many people so little "fritz".

Cali - people like her exist everywhere. They NEED to be the center of attention, they NEED to constantly have the world whirring and buzzing with drama. The fact to me is clear - that one small day - you were human, had upset, and tears and it took the center of attention off her for a split second and she couldn't handle it. Her jealousy even for just that moment was too much for her to bear so she had to make the attention come all back to her. I'd say let her have it. She should be pitied for being so petty, shallow and what an idiot. My word - if she treats this mans business like she treats her friends he's liable to end up in liable. Seems she doesn't take the time to sit back and get ALL the facts before she makes an informed decision. That to me isn't a good manager OR any kind of a friend. If I were Tigger I'd pee on her.

Hugs & Love
Star

 

[Star*]

and what Susie* said - you don't think all this logging and dates and times of information is important - but trust me - I just did an unemployment hearing yesterday and I'm glad I'm a nerd.

 

[buddy]

what I would do in real life??? just block her, remove her from my life except for the "have tos" of work. Just keep it business and that fake professional level that has to happen at a business. You don't need to give this one ounce of energy anymore. She is simply not worth it.

What I would do in my fantasy life, not much of a come back, but I would use a sticky back with her FB quote

Jesus died for our sins and we should all be like Him and forgive and not judge people.

Stuck to her computer screen. Really would not suggest doing this but it is one of those things that is nice to think about.

 

[Californiablonde]

Star you made me laugh, thank you! Yes she deserves to get peed all over. All over her sleazy outfits and her high heel shoes. Well our boss is the one who gives me all the work so I have nobody else to complain to. She even gets paid more than I do and it burns me up! I doubt she would get me fired because without me she would have to do everything herself! No more shoe shopping on the internet for her. Oh and their are no clients to impress. We work at a high school. My students are more mature than her.