Someone on the General Board directed me here......

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by DenitaS, Feb 2, 2009.

  1. DenitaS

    DenitaS New Member

    I think they were right! LOL
    I have a 17 yo daughter who is ALWAYS out of control. She moved out a few weeks ago, again, I told her this time that we didn't have a revolving door and she needed to think long and hard before she left because if she came back she would be sent to a foster home.
    So, things have been going ok for the most part. We let her babysit the baby (her son that we have custody of) last night for a few hours while we went to a friends for a game. Left there and picked our youngest up and came home. the youngest asked her to drain the bathtub water and to please not use her radio when she was here. That set her off and she ended up shoving her!
    So, here is today's dilema!
    She calls me and tells me that where she is living wants rent now (250) I told her that even if we decided to pay it this time that SHE decided to move out and needed to grow up and take care of her own business. Then she said she could just move in with us until the end of Feb (she has 2 court dates) and then she would go to TX. So, I told her that I would probably be giving her the rent and she needed to make arrangements for a flight out of a MUCH closer town!
    So, now,I have to talk my husband into giving her this money!! I personally think it is a SMALL price to pay for our peace!
    What do you think????

    Lasted edited by : Feb 2, 2009
  2. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Do you have any legal papers showing that you all are in custody of the baby? That's my first thought as we have been there done that and it can get hairy to say the least. Do you have custody through the court system or do you have a Durable POA signed/notarized from your daughter?

    IF you have the legal right to the baby I say Go For It. If you can get her out of your hair and out of your life it is worth getting a 2nd job for...LOL!

    I'm not sure how her age enters into the equation. There may be issues I am not aware of as I read your post. Absolutely, however, I know for a fact that my husband and I would have paid almost any price to get GFGmom out of Dodge so we could raise a happy secure healthy grandchild.

    Hugs. DDD
  3. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Denita, I removed the link to your blog from your post. Please also remove it from your signature. We feel strongly about protecting the privacy of our members and our kids and this flies in the face of that.

    Has your daughter graduated from high school or gotten her GED or something? Unemployed?

    You might want to check out the archives of this forum for pointers, plus reading our posts. Check out the link in my's about "detaching."

  4. DenitaS

    DenitaS New Member

    DDD - WE have custody through the courts. They (the parents) agreed to a parental allocation. And yes, we did give her the money and I agree that it is well worth it!
    Suz - Sorry about the link! She is currently enrolled on a online high school to get her degree. THANK YOU so much for the link on detachment. That is what we are working on now. It isn't always easy because sometimes you just don't know where to draw the line.

    My youngest told me tonight that if she comes back home she is leaving, she will not live in the same house with her again.

    The age thing is sticky! But, she has been out of our house more then not since March of 07. Staying here and there and not understanding why it doesn't work out!

    Thanks so much for your quick responses!
  5. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    I also agree with paying the rent. I often say that if I could afford to pay for my daughter to have her own apartment and still stay afloat I would do it in a heartbeat. The peace is worth so much more!!!

    Poor little sis, it is so hard on the siblings.

    Good luck and enjoy the peace! :)