Sometimes I can't possibly be expected to understand his logic

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by JJJ, Jul 29, 2011.

  1. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Eeyore is very into iTunes. Everytime he earns or is given any money, he wants to use it on iTunes. So far...

    1. He's tried to put cash in the cd drive.
    2. He's made 'wish lists' of $700+
    3. He's bought cds and movies that we already own cause he thought he could only listen to them on his computer if he paid iTunes.

    and today he tried to enter his most recent iTunes gift card into his account. It didn't work. After about 10 minutes of questioning, I find out that after we bought the card, he copied the number off the card and then dropped it on the counter at Walmart. Needless to say, it has already been used by someone else.

    Why would he put the card down?? His logic, he didn't have any pockets. Um, but Eeyore, you had your phone in your hand, the phone you used to write down the number, why couldn't you have just put the card in that hand or better yet, left it in the bag of stuff I bought.
  2. keista

    keista New Member

    As frustrating as it is for you, and I do sympathize. I do see the logic in much of that.

    1. husband did something similar. He was using a credit card, but I caught him looking for the slot on the computer to swipe his card so he could make a purchase.
    2. A wish list is just that - WISHES. Why not dream big?
    3. Again, husband never really caught on that anything on the computer/internet was NOT computer specific. He insisted he could NOT use the 'other' computer because his game accounts were on 'this' one

    Putting the card down? Well, he paid for it and got the information he needed. He no longer needed the card, why keep it?

    I suspect that I am not 100% neurotypical. And while I know these things are REALLY silly/frustrating, I do see the logic if you haven't learned all the ins and outs. I HOPE he's learning with each of these events and isn't repeating himself.
  3. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Oh Keista, I phrased it wrong in my original post; I do see the logic AFTER he does it. I just lack the ability to PREDICT what he is going to misunderstand. He is very bummed right now (I do feel for him.). The hardest part is he is so frustrated that he can't 'trust' himself to get it and not cause himself problems because he doesn't get the way the world works.

    On a good note, we have found a compromise on Facebook that seems to be working and makes him happy. He sits next to me and dictates what he wants typed. A little geeky to have your mom be your facebook-scribe but it protects him from himself and he feels cool chatting with his friends :) Now if only I can convince him not to tell everyone that is how we do it (cause he will feel like a liar if he doesn't tell everyone each and every thing he does or even thinks).

    He is taking "Intro to Human Relationships" in the spring...I can hardly wait, I think the teacher is in for a great challenge! (She is going to have to catch when he misunderstands and find a way to explain it so that he gets it.)
  4. keista

    keista New Member


    I think I managed to pre-emt a lot of this kind of stuff because the kids have dubbed me "the Lecture Lady" With any new endeavor, I go into an apparently too long lecture of any possible scenario that my crop up, and close by saying, "If you're still not sure, just ask" We do still have some hiccups, but I'm surprised to find that I'm having more such issues with DD1 as opposed to son.

    Son used to do that too. As long as it was a new experience, I'd take the blame for not teaching him, and assure him that as long as he learns and doesn't repeat whatever it was, that it was all a part of normal learning and growing up. At the moment, he's refusing to get his learner's permit due to the same principle - he doesn't want to mess things up.

    in my opinion this is the 'perfectionist' that is present in so many Aspies. They are so good at so many things that when they are faced with a challenge and 'screw up' they are doubly hard on themselves because they 'should have known' how to do something so seemingly simple.
  5. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Sounds a lot like my difficult child 2 and the way he thinks sometimes. He thinks he's being very efficient and highly logical at the time.

    Tonight I supervised him making tacos for the family. He cooked the meat, helped drain the fat, added the seasonings to simmer, grated the cheese, did it all just fine. Then I told him to warm up some tortillas in the microwave. He took 1/2 the package and put it on a plate, covered it and set the timer for abou 10 seconds. That was fine. But he decided to butter each tortilla as well. Not thinking that perhaps he's the only one who wants butter on his tortilla. And that perhaps putting butter between each layer would result in a drippy mess on BOTH sides of all but the top and bottom ones. :hammer: Good thing there were a few more tortillas in the package for the rest of us!
  6. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member


    Today he stole 2 iTunes cards when he was at the store with his dad. :grrr:

    Of course, he can't really tell a lie so the second he got home, he confessed immediately and started bawling. He came up with a punishment more suitable for an armed robbery so I toned it down a bit. Thankfully it is a store that knows us well so I'm going to have him return the cards and hopefully he will be better able to control his impulses.

    Ugh, I keep telling the psychiatrist that I want him back on his AP but all she's done is tinker with his AD. He's maxed out on the Vyvanse and when it wears off, impulse control what so ever. (This happened about 30 minutes after the medication wore off, the same time of day he has all of his problems. Sigh.)
  7. keista

    keista New Member

    :notalone: Oh yeah, that sounds about right.

    Sorry about psychiatrist and medications. Can you do back to back doses or change dosage time so it doesn't wear off until bed time?
  8. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    The problem is that he has to have it by 7:45am so it kicks in by 1st period at school, that means it wears off around 5pm. Normally not a problem as he doesn't do evening activities. With it being summer, there have been a lot more late evenings.

    We see psychiatrist again in mid-Sept so fingers crossed that she will fix this!
  9. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    We had very similar problems with difficult child 1. Soon as the stimulant wore off, he was into everything. psychiatrist ended up yanking the AD he was on and putting him on Tegretol and Remeron. It's made a huge difference.

    If it were me, I'd be on the phone making like a HUGE squeaky wheel and leave a message for the psychiatrist to call you Monday to come up with a better option.