Sometimes I Forget About the Problems of PCs and their Parents... LOL!

DaisyFace

Love me...Love me not
So I received a FB message from a woman that I met through the school...

we are not close, but she knows that difficult child has some issues.

At any rate, she messaged me that she was "desparately" looking for some kind of boot camp for her son. His behaviors were escalating and she could not take it any more.

Not knowing the whole story, I responded with a general list of the resources I know in this neck of the woods: Military-style schools, boarding schools, RTCs, Parent resources, etc

When I didn't hear anything back - I called to see if there was anything more I could do to help. At the very least, I figured I could be a shoulder to cry on... After all, I know what it's like to live with a difficult child....the stress, the frustration, the never-ending battles...



Well, it turns out that these parents were desparately looking for a boot camp....

because their easy child talked back to them instead of doing his chores that night.

:surprise:

And I guess my list of difficult child resources was a bit of a shocker...!

LOL!
 

susiestar

Roll With It
lol!!! Makes you have to chuckle that THAT is their biggest problem. I do often wonder what the kids are doing that the parents don't know about though. Cause most of my easy child's have a bit more spirit than that. LOL.
 

InsaneCdn

Well-Known Member
This is why I ask what the problem IS before I answer.
Even when I do ask, its easy to see the "bigger, hidden problems" that the other parent isn't aware of... as in, WE get a bit paranoid after all we've been through, so we see all sorts of problems "lurking" - stuff we wish we'd seen long before...

That's one nice thing about this space... if I get slapped with a stack of over-reactive responses, its not because people don't care or understand... its because they've been through the mill too, and so, we tend to dive in with the help we wish we had (or got from here or similar). So we tend not to be "shocked" at the response.
 

seriously

New Member
What I wouldn't give for a kid like that...

although it does make you wonder what they did to the kid that he/she talking back about chores is so shocking and abnormal.
 

Nancy

Well-Known Member
Just another example of how people who don't have difficult child's have no idea what it's like. I use to look for books in Borders to help when difficult child was younger and decided they were not written for difficult child's. We were so far beyond what any of those books suggested.

Nancy
 

AnnieO

Shooting from the Hip
I use to look for books in Borders to help when difficult child was younger and decided they were not written for difficult child's. We were so far beyond what any of those books suggested.

Amen.

I gave up looking, too. Even "The Explosive Child" helped only with Jett. It should have helped with Onyxx - but no. Well, it did help me deal, anyway. I still don't think husband ever read it.
 

InsaneCdn

Well-Known Member
We were so far beyond what any of those books suggested.

I'm with you on that one... but I haven't given up on books (yet).
Lately, I've found half a dozen at the used book store (much less $$ of course)... books that really are not meant for dealing with difficult children, but buried in there somewhere have been some really good ideas and some helpful information (example of the latter: a definition of the unique characteristics of depression in young males)

NOTHING out there begins to cover the complexity - any one book might work well if you're only dealing with a couple of specific challenges (even if they are big ones) - but multiple challenges? We end up with "solutions" that might work for the problem being "addressed" but instantly cause major issues in an area "not currently being addressed". Know what I mean??

If we even just had two of K2, we'd be just about a "normal" family - and the usual books and tricks and ideas work.
But we don't.
Which is why we need other parents who have been there, for support.

Hmmm... maybe somebody needs to take this site and turn it into a book?
Wasn't somebody talking about writing a book sometime???
 

JJJ

Active Member
Amen.

I gave up looking, too. Even "The Explosive Child" helped only with Jett. It should have helped with Onyxx - but no. Well, it did help me deal, anyway. I still don't think husband ever read it.

Yep, TEC helped with the younger three but the only thing that would have stopped Kanga's outbursts would have been to not only ALLOW her to do whatever she wanted to do but to provide the transportation and the funding and to praise her as well. And she would have kept upping the requests because what she really wanted was the chaos and violence.
 

Shari

IsItFridayYet?
I got to the point that I can't even tolerate most watercooler conversation at the office...I get so sick of hearing how little Johnny don't get enough time on the field, or little sally didn't get the lead in the recital, or how the teacher ha the gonads to call them when their son was out of class for aDr appointment - shouldn't they have KNOwN?!?!? I just couldnt deal with the travesty.
 

AnnieO

Shooting from the Hip
Yep, TEC helped with the younger three but the only thing that would have stopped Kanga's outbursts would have been to not only ALLOW her to do whatever she wanted to do but to provide the transportation and the funding and to praise her as well. And she would have kept upping the requests because what she really wanted was the chaos and violence.

Kanga, Onyxx... Sisters in a past life?
 
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