Shari
IsItFridayYet?
I want to preface this by saying I still meant what I said about husband taking Wee on the field trip. I like that part of him. However, this past weekend, has been a dandy. I just got home from 30 hours on the road alone with Wee. I'm tired, I'm cranky, and had way too much time to think.
First...after my car crash, I spent a few days down. husband did not pick up one additional chore in that time frame. As usual, the house went to hell in a handcar in less than 3 days...worse after that as I tried desperately to rest, yet maintain...and when I say it gets bad? I mean bad. Food left on the counter bad.
By Thursday night, I was feeling almost ok. So Friday, after work, I picked up stuff to make May Baskets. Something I've done for years. Kindda of our little "random of act of kindness" project each year. I think it teaches good things to the kids, too. Probably should have skipped this year in hindsight, but then again...why should I?
easy child 1's girlfriend and Wee helped fill baskets wiwth fresh flowers. easy child 1 grilled supper Friday night. girlfriend cleaned up. We delivered baskets on Saturday.
husband was supposed to help the saddle club, which is a branch of the Optimist Club, by the way, with the high school rodeo this past weekend. The man who works the concession stand had cancer in a kidney and recently had it taken out and had asked husband to help. husband told him he would. This man now also has a spot on his lung. And he's 70 years old.
husband didn't go Saturday. He didn't do anything all day. He sat around in his underwear til 5pm. After Wee and I delivered baskets, we ran other errands and I did laundry. When I'd show up at home, he'd do something like empty a soda can off the end table (seriously) then go straight back to the tv.
Sunday, he got up and went to the rodeo to help and spent the day ridin around in a golf cart with his friend. But he did take Wee, so I got to spend 7 hours Sunday fixing my truck lights and catching up in the house. husband showed up at home around 3 and parked in his chair. I thought it was odd because I knew the rodeo wasn't over. I needed another part for the truck, was fighting with the pharmacy who'd lost my filled prescriptions, and trying to get ready to leave to take Wee to Tulsa for his doctor appointment. husband "didn't want" to go get the truck part for me, so I did (yet once it was fixed, he didn't want me to take the truck "in case he needed to haul somehting" while I was gone). He sat on his butt in front of the tv. Out of curiosity later, I asked why he wasn't still helping at the rodeo. At the point when he left, they were goiing to start cleaning up and picking up trash and he didn't want to do that, so he told them he had to bring Wee home and just never went back.
Which got me to thinking....every year, the saddle club does those pony rides at the fall festival. Usually, Wee's friend has a birthday party that same weekend. husband won't walk the ponies. He doesn't stand there and help lift the kids up onto the ponies and horses. He doesn't take the money, make sure parents sign the release forms, set up the area, or clean the helmets after each kid finishes with them. He just is there to socialize. And only once has he ever "left his post" to take Wee to the party. I usually have to do it. Which leaves us short a person to lead a horse, and we're always short of help, anyway...
He called me at 8:08 tonight. I was on my way home frfom Tulsa. He was watching tv at that time. I got home at 1030. Still watching tv. It is 1220 and he just shut it off. He has yet to say hi, how was the trip, what did you find out...anything. In fact, now, he's snoring. (and I have spoken to him...)
And he had the gonads to tell me last night that he's "sick of dealing with this stuff, too" and that "the doctors have all the planes and money, they should come to us" instead of "us" going to Tulsa. I bet husband couldn't even tell you that Wee's dyslexic, let alone anything else. Other than living with Wee, he doesn't "deal" with any of it. Goiing to tulsa to a doctor IS a pain in the rear. But he's never been there. And that doctor is the first person to figure out a big piece of WEe's puzzle...to be angry at him for not coming to us???? Really????
difficult child 1 left for the military angry with husband because he didn't "do his part" (not that difficult child 1 did, either, but...). difficult child 1 is still angry with husband. easy child 1 gets angry angry with husband regularly because husband blames him for a lot of junk that husband is equally, if not more so, guitly of doing, also (an example - ratchet straps. husband got mad because easy child 1 would use them and not put them back. So husband started locking them up. So easy child 1 bought some of his own. husband wouldn't want to have to unlock his, so he'd use easy child's. And not put them back. So easy child started locking his stuff up. Now husband is pissy cause easy child locks his stuff up. ("Hello, Pot. This is Kettle. You're black!" kinda deal there...but its all the time!))
We had fish for supper Sunday night before I left. At the very least, there isn't leftover fish lying on the counter. Tho the oil, dishes, and breading containers are still all stacked on the stove....
Anyway, I am just really repulsed by this behavior right now. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
If you made it this far....sorry. Or thanks.
First...after my car crash, I spent a few days down. husband did not pick up one additional chore in that time frame. As usual, the house went to hell in a handcar in less than 3 days...worse after that as I tried desperately to rest, yet maintain...and when I say it gets bad? I mean bad. Food left on the counter bad.
By Thursday night, I was feeling almost ok. So Friday, after work, I picked up stuff to make May Baskets. Something I've done for years. Kindda of our little "random of act of kindness" project each year. I think it teaches good things to the kids, too. Probably should have skipped this year in hindsight, but then again...why should I?
easy child 1's girlfriend and Wee helped fill baskets wiwth fresh flowers. easy child 1 grilled supper Friday night. girlfriend cleaned up. We delivered baskets on Saturday.
husband was supposed to help the saddle club, which is a branch of the Optimist Club, by the way, with the high school rodeo this past weekend. The man who works the concession stand had cancer in a kidney and recently had it taken out and had asked husband to help. husband told him he would. This man now also has a spot on his lung. And he's 70 years old.
husband didn't go Saturday. He didn't do anything all day. He sat around in his underwear til 5pm. After Wee and I delivered baskets, we ran other errands and I did laundry. When I'd show up at home, he'd do something like empty a soda can off the end table (seriously) then go straight back to the tv.
Sunday, he got up and went to the rodeo to help and spent the day ridin around in a golf cart with his friend. But he did take Wee, so I got to spend 7 hours Sunday fixing my truck lights and catching up in the house. husband showed up at home around 3 and parked in his chair. I thought it was odd because I knew the rodeo wasn't over. I needed another part for the truck, was fighting with the pharmacy who'd lost my filled prescriptions, and trying to get ready to leave to take Wee to Tulsa for his doctor appointment. husband "didn't want" to go get the truck part for me, so I did (yet once it was fixed, he didn't want me to take the truck "in case he needed to haul somehting" while I was gone). He sat on his butt in front of the tv. Out of curiosity later, I asked why he wasn't still helping at the rodeo. At the point when he left, they were goiing to start cleaning up and picking up trash and he didn't want to do that, so he told them he had to bring Wee home and just never went back.
Which got me to thinking....every year, the saddle club does those pony rides at the fall festival. Usually, Wee's friend has a birthday party that same weekend. husband won't walk the ponies. He doesn't stand there and help lift the kids up onto the ponies and horses. He doesn't take the money, make sure parents sign the release forms, set up the area, or clean the helmets after each kid finishes with them. He just is there to socialize. And only once has he ever "left his post" to take Wee to the party. I usually have to do it. Which leaves us short a person to lead a horse, and we're always short of help, anyway...
He called me at 8:08 tonight. I was on my way home frfom Tulsa. He was watching tv at that time. I got home at 1030. Still watching tv. It is 1220 and he just shut it off. He has yet to say hi, how was the trip, what did you find out...anything. In fact, now, he's snoring. (and I have spoken to him...)
And he had the gonads to tell me last night that he's "sick of dealing with this stuff, too" and that "the doctors have all the planes and money, they should come to us" instead of "us" going to Tulsa. I bet husband couldn't even tell you that Wee's dyslexic, let alone anything else. Other than living with Wee, he doesn't "deal" with any of it. Goiing to tulsa to a doctor IS a pain in the rear. But he's never been there. And that doctor is the first person to figure out a big piece of WEe's puzzle...to be angry at him for not coming to us???? Really????
difficult child 1 left for the military angry with husband because he didn't "do his part" (not that difficult child 1 did, either, but...). difficult child 1 is still angry with husband. easy child 1 gets angry angry with husband regularly because husband blames him for a lot of junk that husband is equally, if not more so, guitly of doing, also (an example - ratchet straps. husband got mad because easy child 1 would use them and not put them back. So husband started locking them up. So easy child 1 bought some of his own. husband wouldn't want to have to unlock his, so he'd use easy child's. And not put them back. So easy child started locking his stuff up. Now husband is pissy cause easy child locks his stuff up. ("Hello, Pot. This is Kettle. You're black!" kinda deal there...but its all the time!))
We had fish for supper Sunday night before I left. At the very least, there isn't leftover fish lying on the counter. Tho the oil, dishes, and breading containers are still all stacked on the stove....
Anyway, I am just really repulsed by this behavior right now. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
If you made it this far....sorry. Or thanks.
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