DS is 22 and in his last semester of college. He is ADHD not otherwise specified, because he really doesn't have hyperactivity or attention issues...but something was wrong that couldn't be identified. He is better every year it seems, so maybe the brain is slowly maturing. He's been on Vyvanse for years, but he really takes his because otherwise he's totally unmotivated it seems...mostly with schoolwork. He lazes around the house horribly when home. Something is not quite right, but not severe enough to incapacitate him. He's finishing up college, has a PT job where a FT job is being offered after graduation and us a normally social.
But he is sneaky and lies to us when he doesn't like our decisions. We had told him he could live with us when he graduates, but I think we are going to have to retract that offer and it's hard.
When we are out of town on weekends in the summer, husband doesn't want the kids to have others in the house. He just doesn't, and that's fine with me. We told the boys during the summer that absolutely no one in the house while we weren't there. Not that we don't necessarily don't trust their friends, but their friends Might bring friends who don't know us, etc.
Anyway, DS had a friend over the first weekend we left, I found out and he lied until he couldn't we had words, you know...it's a stupid rules, arguing, etc. I told him he has completely ruined it for himself and now HE can't stay at home when we don't. He has an apartment in his college town an hour away. So, we found out yesterday he did it again. I think he had a key made, how could he have got in? We took the spare keys out of the garage. He said the door was not locked...but of course I told him he knew he wasn't supposed to be there anyway....plus, his girlfriend was there. He lied about just taking a shower there Saturday night but never spent the night and what's wrong with that. He argues the whole time.
He only admits it after I added our nieighbkr to look at their video footage and their was an SUV packed there Friday and Saturday evening...his new girlfriend. So more lies.
Then he says it is HIS house, too. I say, no it's not. It's MY house and your Dads. I told him how deeply djsappointed we are with his lying and sneakiness and disrespect and his closing in on 23.
I think I'm going to now have to spend several hundred and change my locks. I'm so sad we can't trust this son, and now I think we are going to have to tell him he can't live at home in a few months, but better take that job and find his own place. It just all makes me sad that I have a son who feels so entitled and can't follow one simple request from us. Any words of wisdom are appreciated. Our other son is not like this at all.
But he is sneaky and lies to us when he doesn't like our decisions. We had told him he could live with us when he graduates, but I think we are going to have to retract that offer and it's hard.
When we are out of town on weekends in the summer, husband doesn't want the kids to have others in the house. He just doesn't, and that's fine with me. We told the boys during the summer that absolutely no one in the house while we weren't there. Not that we don't necessarily don't trust their friends, but their friends Might bring friends who don't know us, etc.
Anyway, DS had a friend over the first weekend we left, I found out and he lied until he couldn't we had words, you know...it's a stupid rules, arguing, etc. I told him he has completely ruined it for himself and now HE can't stay at home when we don't. He has an apartment in his college town an hour away. So, we found out yesterday he did it again. I think he had a key made, how could he have got in? We took the spare keys out of the garage. He said the door was not locked...but of course I told him he knew he wasn't supposed to be there anyway....plus, his girlfriend was there. He lied about just taking a shower there Saturday night but never spent the night and what's wrong with that. He argues the whole time.
He only admits it after I added our nieighbkr to look at their video footage and their was an SUV packed there Friday and Saturday evening...his new girlfriend. So more lies.
Then he says it is HIS house, too. I say, no it's not. It's MY house and your Dads. I told him how deeply djsappointed we are with his lying and sneakiness and disrespect and his closing in on 23.
I think I'm going to now have to spend several hundred and change my locks. I'm so sad we can't trust this son, and now I think we are going to have to tell him he can't live at home in a few months, but better take that job and find his own place. It just all makes me sad that I have a son who feels so entitled and can't follow one simple request from us. Any words of wisdom are appreciated. Our other son is not like this at all.