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Son arrested
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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 714518" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>My definition of hitting rock bottom is when life becomes harder using drugs/alcohol than staying sober. That won't happen as long as we are rescuing them from the consequences of their addiction which includes giving them money, fixing legal issues, giving them a place to stay instead of making them act as adults and support themselves.</p><p></p><p>I love Tanya's definition of tough love.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Learning to set those firm boundaries is not easy to do. It took me two years of private therapy to learn how to do that. That's why we say that the real work is learning to change ourselves and our reactions to our loved one's behaviors.</p><p></p><p>My therapist kept telling me over and over that I couldn't change my daughter's behavior or drug use. She was going to do what she wanted to do. I had to learn to stop letting it affect me.</p><p></p><p>To my delight and surprise, once I had set boundaries in place and expected by daughter to step up to the plate . . . she did. She has been sober for 16 months, has held down a full time job for 12 months, and is totally self-supporting. </p><p></p><p>I am almost afraid to post this because I don't want to jinx her recovery. However, I realize now that if she does relapse it will be on her and it will be hers to fix. I remain cautiously optimistic.</p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 714518, member: 1967"] My definition of hitting rock bottom is when life becomes harder using drugs/alcohol than staying sober. That won't happen as long as we are rescuing them from the consequences of their addiction which includes giving them money, fixing legal issues, giving them a place to stay instead of making them act as adults and support themselves. I love Tanya's definition of tough love. Learning to set those firm boundaries is not easy to do. It took me two years of private therapy to learn how to do that. That's why we say that the real work is learning to change ourselves and our reactions to our loved one's behaviors. My therapist kept telling me over and over that I couldn't change my daughter's behavior or drug use. She was going to do what she wanted to do. I had to learn to stop letting it affect me. To my delight and surprise, once I had set boundaries in place and expected by daughter to step up to the plate . . . she did. She has been sober for 16 months, has held down a full time job for 12 months, and is totally self-supporting. I am almost afraid to post this because I don't want to jinx her recovery. However, I realize now that if she does relapse it will be on her and it will be hers to fix. I remain cautiously optimistic. ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
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