Son driving us crazy with his bad logic

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Wiped Out, Apr 6, 2009.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    driving us crazy with his logic these days. He gets something in his head, whether or not it is true, and there is no convincing him differently.

    Whenever possible we try to let it go. Unfortunately it isn't always that easy. Sometimes he says we promised him things we never promised him. Seriously, he believes these things. Or he'll say, "but you said I could." Nope-we didn't. I don't think he is trying to be manipulative, he really makes himself believe these things. These are only a couple of examples. He gets so angry and upset, swears, and yells rude comments when we have to contradict him, no matter how gently we try to do it.

    He has always been this way to an extent but right now it seems to be happening a lot. It's frustrating. Any ideas on what is going on or how to deal with this? I've wondered if it could be the side effects of the Topamax but in the past psychiatrist has said it is more about word retrieval than other things.
  2. jannie

    jannie trying to survive....

    We have the same problem....:try2fly: If you find an answer please send it my way. And it's amazing.... difficult child really believes that we said these things....sometimes I don't even think that he thinks he is lying !!!

    I do think that sometimes I give difficult child a direction and this direction plays over and over in his head so when I repeat it (since he has yet to follow the request) he gets upset with me and yells that I've already told him 10 times....when it's only been one other time...
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sharon...let me ask you something. Could these be delusions? I dont quite know what you are seeing but let me try to explain an example of something that happened to me.

    Remember when I got so sick in the fall and thought I was pregnant? Well, that was a complete physical impossibility but no one could tell me I couldnt be pregnant. I believed with all my being that I was pregnant. I even thought I was having ultrasounds and other medical tests to tell me how far along I was. I thought this pregnancy was being announced on the internet and on the radio/TV. I had names for these twins. I truly thought I was I even had help planned out for when they were born. Little by little I started to come around as I got better...probably as they adjusted my medications. But I so understand delusions now. I had other delusions during that time too. Lots and lots of them. Almost constant delusions. I lived in a fantasy world for almost a month. No one could tell me anything I thought was real wasnt real. I could walk when I really couldnt, I was going home when I was in ICU. All kinds of things.

    Do these things sound like the types of things you are seeing? Like maybe difficult child is getting lost in some kind of alternate reality I guess you would call it?
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Jannie-If we ever get it figured out I'll let you know! Both husband and I believe difficult child really believes he is telling the truth.

    Janet-I don't think it's delusions but I could be wrong. It is somehow more like he convinces himself these things are true. It is hard to explain.
  5. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Sharon, this sounds so familiar ~ wm does the same things. A thought becomes so ingrained it becomes a part of his reality. And there is no convincing him otherwise. Especially during times of high emotions (rages) or stress.

    therapist feels that this is a part of wm's thought processes. He (kt as well) processes thoughts & emotions differently. Given that, we spend a great deal of time teaching him to stop & think. It's a step by step process to get his brain working; get him to process emotions & thoughts on a step by step basis. Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) team does this. I don't have this down yet.

    Sending you positive thoughts as you go thru this with difficult child. It's a tremendous issue in my humble opinion for many of our difficult children.
  6. maril

    maril New Member

    I will send positive thoughts your way, too!

    I have been stumped when my son makes these claims. Sometimes he has been so convincing that I have to stop and think, "Did I really say or promise that?" (lol) He has made claims that I have lied, said things I have not, promised him things I have not, and I know his claims are untrue -- they are what he wants to believe is true or what I "could" have said. I think if there is an instance where there is a possibility given to him that something might occur that he is hoping for, just even the possibility makes him believe that it will go his way, so that when it does not, he cannot come to terms with it. Could this be part of the nature of the "inflexible-explosive" child Dr. Greene describes? I actually still need to read over "The Explosive Child" again to truly understand the concepts more.
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Linda-I do think it has to do with difficult child's thought process. I do agree it is a big issue for our difficult children.

    Marilynne-You bring up some good points-I may end up having to relook at my copy of The Explosive Child. I know what you mean about stopping to wonder if you really did promise something because they are so convinced.