Son finally came over

Helpless29

Well-Known Member
I finally see my 15 year old son since he ran away from rehab , my rule was he could come over but there would be no use of the computer, I didnt want him on social media reconnecting with old friends , he refused to come a few times but today he called & asked to come, I said ok, everything seemed great ,we talked , he played with his little brothers , I was happy. It was time for bed & he asked to use labtop , I said NO, he demanded a explanation & got enraged , I got really scared once he startimg breaking his stuff, I called his father & praying he gets here fast! He is now downstairs in his room , I hear its quiet but Im still very afraid.
 

Copabanana

Well-Known Member
I am so sorry his is happening. It is scary. In the last couple weeks the police came here twice, and I called once more.

Honestly. I would call 911 or psychiatric crisis. I would worry if he could hurt himself, too, with that kind of loss of control. Do you think he may need to be evaluated for danger to self or others?

Let us know how you are.
 

Helpless29

Well-Known Member
He is downstairs in his room, He hast tried coming up & I dont hear things breaking anymore, I locked the door in case he does try coming up, hes 5’9 260 lbs , Im 4’11 115lbs so hes very intimidating, his dad should be here in an hour but I have my phone here to call 911 in case he tries somethimg more
 

Helpless29

Well-Known Member
It happened last night, his dad picked him up, I guess now I will love from a distance.He really scared me , I went in his room after he left , he had broken & smashed things, I cannot allow this anymore, as I have said many times :/
 

Copabanana

Well-Known Member
I am glad you are safe, the house is safe and the other kids are safe.

It is very, very hard to have to defend yourself and space from your child.

I hope you keep reading and posting. I find it helpful to ask the people here to support and back me up to be strong.

Clearly. No matter what son said or how he acts he cannot deal with being in your home without dominating and destroying. We will back you up to draw a line. Take care.
 

Helpless29

Well-Known Member
I am glad you are safe, the house is safe and the other kids are safe.

It is very, very hard to have to defend yourself and space from your child.

I hope you keep reading and posting. I find it helpful to ask the people here to support and back me up to be strong.

Clearly. No matter what son said or how he acts he cannot deal with being in your home without dominating and destroying. We will back you up to draw a line. Take care.
Thank you, I dont knowhow to feel anymore.
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
You are hurt, I know, but have to protect yourself.

Your son is very young. You never can tell if things will change for him. Meanwhile you can take care of yourself and hang around your loved ones who currently treat you well.
 

Crayola13

Well-Known Member
Sorry about your son. I think it would be helpful for him to realize how badly he frightens and stresses out his siblings if you were to video their reactions and play it back to him.

I have never understand the addiction of computer/electronics. I'm Generation X, and the laptop and phone addiction sort of remind me of how we were back in the 80s and 90s when our parents took away our tape players, CD players, and radios. That was a HUGE deal to me, and my reactions were never violent ir physical, but they were ugly as it gets.
 

BloodiedButUnbowed

Well-Known Member
I am the stepparent of a violent teenager who does not live with us, and who has been refusing court ordered visitation with his mom (my wife) for the past several years. He is the reason I found this forum (after he became enraged and strangled my wife). Sad to say our lives are better without his physical presence. He is very large (6'5", 230) and capable of murder. I have no doubt that if pushed far enough he would snap and do just that. As awful as it is, I do not want either myself, or my wife, to be his victim.

Keeping away from him is the best choice. If he does not get his way he becomes violent.

After the strangulation episode, until my stepson cut off all contact with us entirely, we saw him in public only, out to eat and that sort of thing. It worked out for a brief time and we do cherish those memories. He did not act out except in our home. Perhaps that is an option for you, so that you can spend time with him yet protect yourself and his younger siblings from a potential outburst.
 

Helpless29

Well-Known Member
I am the stepparent of a violent teenager who does not live with us, and who has been refusing court ordered visitation with his mom (my wife) for the past several years. He is the reason I found this forum (after he became enraged and strangled my wife). Sad to say our lives are better without his physical presence. He is very large (6'5", 230) and capable of murder. I have no doubt that if pushed far enough he would snap and do just that. As awful as it is, I do not want either myself, or my wife, to be his victim.

Keeping away from him is the best choice. If he does not get his way he becomes violent.

After the strangulation episode, until my stepson cut off all contact with us entirely, we saw him in public only, out to eat and that sort of thing. It worked out for a brief time and we do cherish those memories. He did not act out except in our home. Perhaps that is an option for you, so that you can spend time with him yet protect yourself and his younger siblings from a potential outburst.
Thank you for your response and sharing your story. My husband , his step dad also feels the same way, I never felt that scared of my son till that day, I know he has a dark side and at that moment I feared he would hurt me. I will follow your advice thank you.
 

Helpless29

Well-Known Member
I am the stepparent of a violent teenager who does not live with us, and who has been refusing court ordered visitation with his mom (my wife) for the past several years. He is the reason I found this forum (after he became enraged and strangled my wife). Sad to say our lives are better without his physical presence. He is very large (6'5", 230) and capable of murder. I have no doubt that if pushed far enough he would snap and do just that. As awful as it is, I do not want either myself, or my wife, to be his victim.

Keeping away from him is the best choice. If he does not get his way he becomes violent.

After the strangulation episode, until my stepson cut off all contact with us entirely, we saw him in public only, out to eat and that sort of thing. It worked out for a brief time and we do cherish those memories. He did not act out except in our home. Perhaps that is an option for you, so that you can spend time with him yet protect yourself and his younger siblings from a potential outburst.
Question how long after that incident did your wife wait to see him again? At this momemt I feel like I do not want to see my son for a very long time.
 

BloodiedButUnbowed

Well-Known Member
There were several therapy sessions with my stepson and his psychiatrist/his biological parents before we tried to see him again on a social/casual basis. I would not recommend another attempt at a visit, wherever it is located, without a therapy session first.

If memory serves he never spent the night under our roof again, though he did come over to visit after about one year. Other than that, all the visits were in public places or at his father's house, where he lives full time.
 
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