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Son Finally diagnosed bipolar
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 670728" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Ca Mom, you have a lot on your plate.</p><p>GUILT, should not be there, why guilt?</p><p>If your son is choosing to act unacceptably, what part do you have in that?</p><p>Do you look back at mistakes you have made, and blame yourself for the choices your son makes now?</p><p></p><p>Choices, Ca Mom, it is all about choices. We are all handed an uneven deck from our birth. Our parents are human and made mistakes, we are human and made mistakes. It is up to all of us, as individuals to take those cards dealt to us from the uneven deck of life, and play our hands according to the path we choose.</p><p>Yes, we can look back and say, I am this way because of this, or that. It is not to blame, but to understand, to use those played cards to better ourselves.</p><p></p><p>Our D c's use those cards over and over again to blame everyone else for their troubles. It is the easy way out, to continue to make excuses for what they are doing.</p><p>To them, it is everyone else's fault, not theirs! The reason they play their cards thusly, is because it keeps them from looking at themselves, able to live as they choose, without remorse or regret.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>If you need to sell and move, that is your choice. I see you have a six month old. That baby is your priority now.</p><p></p><p>Your decisions should be made with valuing yourself and your husband and taking the best possible care of your baby.</p><p></p><p>We all wish for a normal, loving relationship with our d c's. What I have come to learn is that my two do not choose to live normally. When they have been home with us, normal just does not happen. It is a merciless upset of chaos and craziness.</p><p></p><p>Your six month old does not deserve to witness that.</p><p></p><p>I tried for years to help my two D c's. My youngest was just a babe as well when my oldest really began acting out.</p><p></p><p>If I had the chance to do it all again, I would have closed the door, and fiercely protected my son from the resulting 13 years of chaos that he suffered.</p><p></p><p>You have value and worth, Ca Mom.</p><p></p><p>The article on detachment is very, very good. I go back to it to reinforce my decision to get off the roller coaster, physically and mentally. I do not want to be tortured with vivid images of what my D c's are doing, or suffering. So, I gave them back to G-d. If I find myself worrying, a prayer helps. I have learned that I cannot help them, they must help themselves.</p><p></p><p>My D c's do not respect me, or themselves and their potential. It does not mean that will never happen. It means that as long as they do not respect me, I do not want them in my life, or for that matter, on my mind.</p><p></p><p>That may seem cruel for a mother to say. But, I have value, and a life to live.</p><p>I refuse to let their choices take any more time from me, my husband or my son. He is my priority. He is 14 and a wonderful boy. He deserves to have some peace. We all do.</p><p></p><p>Stay strong dear. You are not alone.</p><p></p><p>(((HUGS)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 670728, member: 19522"] Ca Mom, you have a lot on your plate. GUILT, should not be there, why guilt? If your son is choosing to act unacceptably, what part do you have in that? Do you look back at mistakes you have made, and blame yourself for the choices your son makes now? Choices, Ca Mom, it is all about choices. We are all handed an uneven deck from our birth. Our parents are human and made mistakes, we are human and made mistakes. It is up to all of us, as individuals to take those cards dealt to us from the uneven deck of life, and play our hands according to the path we choose. Yes, we can look back and say, I am this way because of this, or that. It is not to blame, but to understand, to use those played cards to better ourselves. Our D c's use those cards over and over again to blame everyone else for their troubles. It is the easy way out, to continue to make excuses for what they are doing. To them, it is everyone else's fault, not theirs! The reason they play their cards thusly, is because it keeps them from looking at themselves, able to live as they choose, without remorse or regret. If you need to sell and move, that is your choice. I see you have a six month old. That baby is your priority now. Your decisions should be made with valuing yourself and your husband and taking the best possible care of your baby. We all wish for a normal, loving relationship with our d c's. What I have come to learn is that my two do not choose to live normally. When they have been home with us, normal just does not happen. It is a merciless upset of chaos and craziness. Your six month old does not deserve to witness that. I tried for years to help my two D c's. My youngest was just a babe as well when my oldest really began acting out. If I had the chance to do it all again, I would have closed the door, and fiercely protected my son from the resulting 13 years of chaos that he suffered. You have value and worth, Ca Mom. The article on detachment is very, very good. I go back to it to reinforce my decision to get off the roller coaster, physically and mentally. I do not want to be tortured with vivid images of what my D c's are doing, or suffering. So, I gave them back to G-d. If I find myself worrying, a prayer helps. I have learned that I cannot help them, they must help themselves. My D c's do not respect me, or themselves and their potential. It does not mean that will never happen. It means that as long as they do not respect me, I do not want them in my life, or for that matter, on my mind. That may seem cruel for a mother to say. But, I have value, and a life to live. I refuse to let their choices take any more time from me, my husband or my son. He is my priority. He is 14 and a wonderful boy. He deserves to have some peace. We all do. Stay strong dear. You are not alone. (((HUGS))) [/QUOTE]
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