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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 759406" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hi November Rain. Welcome. A homeless shelter is where he belongs. Everything you write makes sense and is a logical consequence of his behaviors and his acts. It's neither here nor there that he accepts reality--in terms of what you do. The important thing is that we accept reality and act based on reality. You are.</p><p></p><p>You have no control over what he does. You can choose to call these people, not defensively but to advise them of the circumstances, but you are not responsible. I know how hard this is. It has happened to me with neighbors and friends.</p><p></p><p>Again, what he thinks, says and does is his business. The thing is he can't do it around you, your house, or your daughter. I think I might speak in terms of behaviors rather than diagnoses. But he knows what he does. You don't have to justify or explain anything.</p><p></p><p>Who wouldn't be? This is the time for the kinds of boundaries you have already begun to make. He can't be in your home. You're right. And as long as he yells, demeans, mocks, berates, puts down, or otherwise abuses you or your daughter, he can't be near you.</p><p></p><p>All of us here understand how hard this is; how hard it is with a homeless child or a child in a shelter. This has been going on with my own 32-year son for 9 years. </p><p></p><p>I am so sorry you are in this tough, tough spot. You are doing exactly the right things. If you continue it will get better. Verbal abuse is abuse. Your son is responsible for his behavior and he is responsible to get treatment to control it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 759406, member: 18958"] Hi November Rain. Welcome. A homeless shelter is where he belongs. Everything you write makes sense and is a logical consequence of his behaviors and his acts. It's neither here nor there that he accepts reality--in terms of what you do. The important thing is that we accept reality and act based on reality. You are. You have no control over what he does. You can choose to call these people, not defensively but to advise them of the circumstances, but you are not responsible. I know how hard this is. It has happened to me with neighbors and friends. Again, what he thinks, says and does is his business. The thing is he can't do it around you, your house, or your daughter. I think I might speak in terms of behaviors rather than diagnoses. But he knows what he does. You don't have to justify or explain anything. Who wouldn't be? This is the time for the kinds of boundaries you have already begun to make. He can't be in your home. You're right. And as long as he yells, demeans, mocks, berates, puts down, or otherwise abuses you or your daughter, he can't be near you. All of us here understand how hard this is; how hard it is with a homeless child or a child in a shelter. This has been going on with my own 32-year son for 9 years. I am so sorry you are in this tough, tough spot. You are doing exactly the right things. If you continue it will get better. Verbal abuse is abuse. Your son is responsible for his behavior and he is responsible to get treatment to control it. [/QUOTE]
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