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<blockquote data-quote="Acacia" data-source="post: 759433" data-attributes="member: 19832"><p>I can relate to your exhaustion, frustration, and feeling sick over your son's behavior. Because of their mental illnesses, addiction, and verbal abuse I have little to no contact with my two older adult children. </p><p></p><p>No contact is appropriate to protect yourself. My only suggestion is not to label him with a diagnosis - I've learned that my two are in total denial and are highly reactive to any label. All you have to say is that you will not allow anyone to verbally abuse you.</p><p></p><p>My two tell everyone how horrible I am because I will not rescue them anymore. It hurts, but it's out of my control. Consequently they don't want me in their lives. My two like your son can be very charming when they want something, so they fool others - at least for a while. Your son will do everything he can to keep you in a FOG of fear, obligation, and guilt.</p><p></p><p>This is hard work to set and keep boundaries, to love your children, but to let them learn from the consequences of their behavior, and to learn to put your well-being first. I've learned that there can be serenity in the storm if I take care of myself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Acacia, post: 759433, member: 19832"] I can relate to your exhaustion, frustration, and feeling sick over your son's behavior. Because of their mental illnesses, addiction, and verbal abuse I have little to no contact with my two older adult children. No contact is appropriate to protect yourself. My only suggestion is not to label him with a diagnosis - I've learned that my two are in total denial and are highly reactive to any label. All you have to say is that you will not allow anyone to verbally abuse you. My two tell everyone how horrible I am because I will not rescue them anymore. It hurts, but it's out of my control. Consequently they don't want me in their lives. My two like your son can be very charming when they want something, so they fool others - at least for a while. Your son will do everything he can to keep you in a FOG of fear, obligation, and guilt. This is hard work to set and keep boundaries, to love your children, but to let them learn from the consequences of their behavior, and to learn to put your well-being first. I've learned that there can be serenity in the storm if I take care of myself. [/QUOTE]
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