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Son in jail...again.. new to the board
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 666625" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>Hi Jude,</p><p></p><p>welcome to the forum. You have given us enough of a story...you can tell us the rest when you are ready.</p><p></p><p>My 21 year old son just got out of jail after 5 months.</p><p></p><p>Having a kid in jail is, counter-intuitively, the time that we as parents can step back and regroup. There is nothing for you to do...nothing you really can do. Your choices boil down to...accept calls or no? put money on commissary or no? pay for lawyer or no? post bail or no? visit or no?</p><p></p><p>Its a lot simpler than when they are out!</p><p></p><p>It doesn't do him any good or you any good to hang on the phone listening to him panic, perseverate, and be hysterical. It isn't in your power to get him out. </p><p></p><p>Lets address my little list of things that ARE in your power...Can you get him out (post bail or hire a lawyer)? If yes, post about that and we can help you sort through what is best for you and your family. If no...lets move on to the other issues, which are even simpler.</p><p></p><p>BEfore that though, until you have a chance to post again, just remember...you don't have to take his calls. You don't have to let them drag on. You can set your own parameters and abide by them. Dealing with being in jail is something only he can do. And he has to do it, poorly or well. Dealing with his being in jail is something only you can do...and I know you can get to a place of doing it well.</p><p></p><p>Hugs, welcome, I'm sorry you have to be here, but you have found a really good place.</p><p></p><p>Echolette (I like to use my full name with newcomers <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> )</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 666625, member: 17269"] Hi Jude, welcome to the forum. You have given us enough of a story...you can tell us the rest when you are ready. My 21 year old son just got out of jail after 5 months. Having a kid in jail is, counter-intuitively, the time that we as parents can step back and regroup. There is nothing for you to do...nothing you really can do. Your choices boil down to...accept calls or no? put money on commissary or no? pay for lawyer or no? post bail or no? visit or no? Its a lot simpler than when they are out! It doesn't do him any good or you any good to hang on the phone listening to him panic, perseverate, and be hysterical. It isn't in your power to get him out. Lets address my little list of things that ARE in your power...Can you get him out (post bail or hire a lawyer)? If yes, post about that and we can help you sort through what is best for you and your family. If no...lets move on to the other issues, which are even simpler. BEfore that though, until you have a chance to post again, just remember...you don't have to take his calls. You don't have to let them drag on. You can set your own parameters and abide by them. Dealing with being in jail is something only he can do. And he has to do it, poorly or well. Dealing with his being in jail is something only you can do...and I know you can get to a place of doing it well. Hugs, welcome, I'm sorry you have to be here, but you have found a really good place. Echolette (I like to use my full name with newcomers ;) ) [/QUOTE]
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Son in jail...again.. new to the board
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