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Son in jail
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 726436" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Your son is a 33 year old MAN! He committed crimes against you when he should have been out doing all he could to build a life so he could be there to help you in your old age. Please don't drop the charges at any point. He needs to learn that he has to grow up and carry his own weight, or at least stop making his parents do it!! </p><p></p><p>There are a lot of great resources out there to help you deal with the FOG. Read Codependent No More. It is a classic because it speaks to the heart of so many of us. Also read the article on detachment at the top of the Parents Emeritus forum. None of this is your fault. I can tell. How? You are here!!! That is how.</p><p></p><p>As for things you could have done better when he was a kid, phooey. Just Phooey. You did the best you could with what you had and what you knew. When you had better or knew better, you did better. I am willing to bet that on exactly zero days you woke up an asked yourself, "What can I do today to mess my child up in the worst way possible so that he will have the most trauma for the rest of his life?? That sounds like what I want to do today!" Since you never did that, I would say that it is time for your son to take responsibility. </p><p></p><p>He has only been an adult for 15 years. What has HE accomplished? You have to get over it and move on at some point! (Just a hint, Junior, jail for abusing your parents is NOT an accomplishment!)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 726436, member: 1233"] Your son is a 33 year old MAN! He committed crimes against you when he should have been out doing all he could to build a life so he could be there to help you in your old age. Please don't drop the charges at any point. He needs to learn that he has to grow up and carry his own weight, or at least stop making his parents do it!! There are a lot of great resources out there to help you deal with the FOG. Read Codependent No More. It is a classic because it speaks to the heart of so many of us. Also read the article on detachment at the top of the Parents Emeritus forum. None of this is your fault. I can tell. How? You are here!!! That is how. As for things you could have done better when he was a kid, phooey. Just Phooey. You did the best you could with what you had and what you knew. When you had better or knew better, you did better. I am willing to bet that on exactly zero days you woke up an asked yourself, "What can I do today to mess my child up in the worst way possible so that he will have the most trauma for the rest of his life?? That sounds like what I want to do today!" Since you never did that, I would say that it is time for your son to take responsibility. He has only been an adult for 15 years. What has HE accomplished? You have to get over it and move on at some point! (Just a hint, Junior, jail for abusing your parents is NOT an accomplishment!) [/QUOTE]
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