Shew I can relate to you my 39yr old Son is in prison due to violating a protection order against him as he cannot move on and his ex fiance moved on straight away and he is not allowed near his 2 daughters. So he continuously harassed her night and day. I wish he would wake up. He originally was a cocaine addict which his ex joined him on occasions but.with him he used non stop. We warned him he would loose everything which he did. She enabled him to keep the peace. Then when she could not anymore he would go into fits of rage threatening his family. She was too scared to leave him then one day through social service woman who work with the police had him arrested for Domestic violence. We bailed him out twice now they put him in prison. It is so sad for any mother to go through this actually heartbreaking to see your son self destruct. All I know it's affecting my second marriage and sometimes I feel all alone and although his two siblings support me I am the one who faces it all and I am the only one he has got. I have no answers but I have prayed and handed it over to God with the knowledge that he knows best so it brings me peaceI read and learn everyday from this wonderful site, yet, I can't sleep. My son, has been given money over and over for ten years...for halfway homes, new bedding, clothes, etc. Last year his girlfriend had a beautiful baby girl, lived with us for three months until we couldn't do it any longer. Insanity...the state was so slow putting girlfriend in rehab. We kicked them out ( I feel so guilty, but, in our 60s, we began having many heart issues). Thankfully, girlfriend is now completing six month Mommy and me rehab at end of month. My son however, has been in many rehabs, over six hospitals, halfway homes and is in so much debt. He was living under a boardwalk for a week after leaving transitional housing and was arrested last week for not showing up for a court date. He is in county jail. He bought a senior ticket for train pass too save money and got charged, along with another drug incident. I cant stop crying and was just released from hospital for another time from heart afib. My husband is 67 had major heart bypass 20 yrs ago, and is feeling weak. Our son, is fun, bright and handsome. He had his choices, we almost bailed him out yesterday after I spoke to him on phone. He cried, he cried...please get me out of here... it is horrible here. Over crowding, sleeping on floor and is in cell 23 hours, one hr in community room. My heart is breaking. I need words of strength from anyone who can help me get through this. He wants to be with girlfriend and precious baby. But, we can see him asking for money. We don't have. It is such a sad situation, like so many of you all experienced. Thank you. I just want to hug my son..
Even though I am still there for my Son with unconditional love God directs me and I write my journal each day to God to protect him from bodily harm. I feel at peace at the moment as I know we're he is and he cannot dig the hole any deeper. It's a long journey but at the end of the day we need to look after ourselves and try to form boundaries. Hope you find the peace of God within you. Nothing is impossible with him through Jesus Christ.