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Substance Abuse
Son is back. Now what?
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<blockquote data-quote="Rina" data-source="post: 654062" data-attributes="member: 18848"><p>I think our son may be feeling the same as Nancy's daughter - waiting for us to reject him. He told me yesterday that he would have been better off staying at the orphanage, because then he would have had a national identity, even if he had no family, while now he has "neither". He would never say such things before, ever (on the contrary - it looked like he wanted nothing to do with his birth country - he alwats rejected our offers to go there on vacation or find him a tutor so he could learn the language). It could be just him being angry at me for preventing him from getting high, or it could be the way he really feels. I don't know if it matters anymore. </p><p>SomewhereOutThere, our son, too, pulled away when people tried to hug him (when he was younger, he would forcefully push people away; later he would just pull away from them). He was so angry at us when we first got him. I remember we got an electronic dictionary with a sound function, to make it easier on him, and when we tried using it, he snatched it out of my husband's hands and smashed it... we got another one, which ended up the same way. </p><p></p><p>We stayed up all night talking, my husband and I. We weren't there for him when he was young, and I can't go back in time and change that; I also can't change my lack of knowledge or whatever mistakes I may have made after adopting him. The only thing I can do now is help him stay off drugs for the next two years. </p><p>After that... I don't know. we'll get there eventually.</p><p>Again, thank you both.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Rina, post: 654062, member: 18848"] I think our son may be feeling the same as Nancy's daughter - waiting for us to reject him. He told me yesterday that he would have been better off staying at the orphanage, because then he would have had a national identity, even if he had no family, while now he has "neither". He would never say such things before, ever (on the contrary - it looked like he wanted nothing to do with his birth country - he alwats rejected our offers to go there on vacation or find him a tutor so he could learn the language). It could be just him being angry at me for preventing him from getting high, or it could be the way he really feels. I don't know if it matters anymore. SomewhereOutThere, our son, too, pulled away when people tried to hug him (when he was younger, he would forcefully push people away; later he would just pull away from them). He was so angry at us when we first got him. I remember we got an electronic dictionary with a sound function, to make it easier on him, and when we tried using it, he snatched it out of my husband's hands and smashed it... we got another one, which ended up the same way. We stayed up all night talking, my husband and I. We weren't there for him when he was young, and I can't go back in time and change that; I also can't change my lack of knowledge or whatever mistakes I may have made after adopting him. The only thing I can do now is help him stay off drugs for the next two years. After that... I don't know. we'll get there eventually. Again, thank you both. [/QUOTE]
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Son is back. Now what?
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