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Substance Abuse
Son is back. Now what?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 654198" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Dear Rina</p><p>I am a new member but wanted to write to offer my support. Your son is lashing out in any way he can from his own pain, because he has lost his moorings, not because of any lacking on your part as a parent, and not because he does not love you. I too adopted my son, when he was 22 months, and blame myself in so many ways. I, too, at times of late have feared I made a mistake-- believing that love could remedy the hurts my son had already suffered as an infant--or that I had failed him as a parent. Either way, my fault. But, we are not the only parents in this situation. And life happens, even to kids that are well loved. But we are it, for them. Maybe there are better Mothers. Many worse. But we are good enough Mothers, and parents. It is not about perfection. We keep hanging in. Keep trying to learn. We stay in the game. Give yourself a break. Your son is lashing out ....at the best thing he has going....you. He knows he is safe with you. That you will always be there for him. How great is that? I would not believe for 5 seconds, what he is saying. If it were true, he would never say it. Why bother? Take care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 654198, member: 18958"] Dear Rina I am a new member but wanted to write to offer my support. Your son is lashing out in any way he can from his own pain, because he has lost his moorings, not because of any lacking on your part as a parent, and not because he does not love you. I too adopted my son, when he was 22 months, and blame myself in so many ways. I, too, at times of late have feared I made a mistake-- believing that love could remedy the hurts my son had already suffered as an infant--or that I had failed him as a parent. Either way, my fault. But, we are not the only parents in this situation. And life happens, even to kids that are well loved. But we are it, for them. Maybe there are better Mothers. Many worse. But we are good enough Mothers, and parents. It is not about perfection. We keep hanging in. Keep trying to learn. We stay in the game. Give yourself a break. Your son is lashing out ....at the best thing he has going....you. He knows he is safe with you. That you will always be there for him. How great is that? I would not believe for 5 seconds, what he is saying. If it were true, he would never say it. Why bother? Take care. [/QUOTE]
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Son is back. Now what?
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